Carving my journey and moving forward

Moving cobwebs aside

2010-05-15T23:14:00.000+08:00

heya! yes.... it's a lonnnnnnnng looong time since i updated. But truthfully, there is a lot of things happening. Like me considering overseas, deciding what i want out of life and how my career can push me there.

There is also the lesson of failure and that i guess it is not something to be ashamed of but it is something that is excruciating, heartbreaking and many times, weary. But from the lesson itself, it is time to learn and move on. And then, i think i have been comparing myself from the past. In fact, actually it is Now to move on.

I see many flaws within me that I refused to admit but i think i really should. Like how i anxious and excited I can be when handling people or leading people. Like my words can seem sharp and threatening that cause people to be hurt and how I always take the easy way out. Perhaps I should look more into my self and people's reaction and behavior towards me instead of reading their character.

I want to expose myself more to things i never done before and I want to learn. But first i have to figure out what do I exactly want in life. but anyways, yeah. Maybe I should do a lot more self reflection. hahaha!

Frustration

2009-09-16T23:57:00.000+08:00

I can't help but feel frustrated. The person in charge told me that only when the school accept me then I can get a scholarship but if that's the case, that means I will have to take A levels or do 2 years of working. Both I do not wish to waste my efforts on and both I do not agree.

There must be some f***ing way to get through this. I just need to find it. And I will keep finding what I need to do. Sighhh....

Anyway, today was fun. I learnt a lot of things like how to support a person when he is standing up and about the observations of the people. Which makes me more thrilled to do this myself. I want it badly. But like they say, what do I need to sacrifice for it? and the importance of the sacrifice.

Sigh... so from tommorow onwards, I am going to find out what I need to do and keep looking for ways.

There must be a way!!!

2nd day of internship

2009-09-15T23:58:00.000+08:00

I had fun for the past 2 days. I actually worked in a cardio section where I get to learn the methods and ways to get people to mobilize themselves in bed and how to make them feel better.

I also had to see gross stuff like phlegm and poop. >.<

But anyway, I find that I am not as emotional as last time where I will weep each time I see a patient. Right now, it is to do what I can and what procedure that I have to undertake.

I also found the many challenges into entering into physiotherapy. I have to lern chemistry and maths and science T.T. And also, the difficulty into entering physiotherapy in Nanyang Polytechnic. >.<

But never mind, I need to find ways NOW!! so that will be my clutter for next week. RAHHH!! will be pushing hard to find!

Tmw I will be in cardio (chest) section again and thurs and fri will be in auto (bones) section. =D Cannot wait! FUN!

=DD

God bless!

A reminder

2009-09-11T23:12:00.000+08:00

Heya! welcome to the revived blog! hahaha! i haven't update for so long.

Ok! so long story short. I actually attended a workshop called "The Courage To Create" and after that I started having classes about making courage.

And so this entry is to remind myself the reason why I started wanting to learn physiotherapy.

It started 2 days before the TCC workshop started, I had Nafa test which is quite fun becuase it is not so strict. We had our shuttle run and suddenly one girl fell down. Turned out that she had a permanent injury from before. So i went to help her.

While helping her to sit down and checking her knee, i realized her knee was sprained so I could not massage it. But then after a while, her ankle was starting to ache and I helped her massage her ankle.

And somehow within me, I found a deep unexplainable joy. And it comes from doing massage. I had always wanted to relieved people from stress and when they are, I felt happy. The thing is I am not a psychology person, so I do not really want to take that career up. It's too emotional and draining for me.

But i thought, if one day i can help a person stand up on her own 2 feet, wouldn't it be great?

On the first day of my making courage class, It drawn on me that I did not take massage as a career because it is just too hard for me to take or I thought there is no road. But there is and I found one.

Physiotherapy is a way that I want to take because that way not only do I learn massage, I help to give the other people hope that they can do things beyond their physical limitations and because I want to stretch towards that direction.

Physiotherapy is a vehicle that I can take and use but I do not have to be stuck with it forever. It is a tool. Mainly, I want to massage. And so I will.

There are many times I keep asking myself why do I want to take this step. This is the reason why. And I am going to stand fast against it. Because it is what I want to do.

Btw, I got myself my very first part time job-- a piano teacher! =D

Step by step!

God bless!

sighhhh

2009-04-17T20:51:00.002+08:00

If grammar and vocabulary allow me to use the language with free flowing heart,
i will let loose the clamour that kept stuck in my throat, heart and mind,
and fill this very background with the blackness of my dark expressions.

expressing suppressed emotions

2009-04-17T01:43:00.003+08:00

yeah yeah! long time no see! I know! I just thought that maybe ITP shouldn't be written down since it's gonna be stressful and it took away my holidays.

hmmm.... ok guys, sorry if i sound emo but it really took out a lot on me. It really really was an emotional roller coaster for me. Sometimes I have my run down days and sometimes I have terrific days. Nonetheless, everytime i go home, my heart seems to be not satisfied somewhat and it felt suppressed.

I know that people will feel frustrated or horrible after a day of work (which sometimes have horrible results). This will probably be the first time it ever come across such a situation that everytime i am alone, swear words will come out and my teeth will start grinding. And i will never allow myself to vent my feelings out to anyone if it' gonna hurt them. but it happens once anyway which is bad enough.

I am tired, really really tired.

I still learn a lot though. Who says that waking up is gonna be pleasant? Everytime when one wakes up, he or she will suddenly become aware of another path. The thing is this. when do you go back down the sane path and when do you choose another path to go? Does that means running away? Or does that means trying out another way?

Will I ever face myself with the kind of person I am now and what should i do? There is no more ise askng "when?". Because once the person ever ask when, she will wait the moment to come. It just doesn't work anymore to wait for the right moment. The moment is when she choose to change, choose to stand and choose to push herself.

I am not pushing myself, I am not making myself stand. I am just relying on others to help me stand.

I am not going to do that anymore. I am not going to sit around and be waited.anymore. More than ever, I want to become a reliable person.

I want, I should, I shall

Countdown

2009-03-22T15:13:00.002+08:00

4 more weeks to go. feeling a bit smitten! rahsssss! Must stay sane!!!! will do it will do it will do it!!!!!

Eleanor will do it!!!

3 weeks! jia you!

2009-01-19T20:43:00.006+08:00

fireworks on new year day ^^

must jia you! 3 weeks to buck myself up!

Merry Merry chirstmas XD

2008-12-28T22:55:00.004+08:00

hahaha! ok! hmmm... here's what went on!

Btw Merry belated christmas everyone!!

on 5th of dec,after school, went to watch Bolt with Pei Quan and then went to see the christmas lights!! it's was really fairy tale like! very shiny and very glossy!!

hahaha^^! nice right? yeah! (being lame). Yup and then where else did we go?

hmmm... oh yeah, the past few weeks, I was shopping for presents for my family and friends and also was having war with my very untidy bedroom with Pei Quan (9th dec) ! it's a whole new CLEAN bedroom!!muahahaha!

And then on the 10th of Dec,went to meet Darren and Claudia with Pei Quan at Orchard Road.

11th dec. we went

You guessed it! and then we had a well reward meal which comprised of roti prata and curry! muaha!

12 Dec,
went to eat ramen with Pei Quan at railway mall and then we rent a dvd, Space Jam to watch
later.

thennnn... crazy assignments which probably suck most of my holiday.
Anyway, on christmas eve, my family invited Pei Quan for a christmas dinner^^! yayyyy! first time celebrating christmas with him! It was really fun. Went to christmas mass with family after that. The children were in the choir and the songs seems quite well... sweet. XD

And then on christmas day, went to see my relatives. For the first time, I just couldn't care about what kind of comments i might get, so i was being myself. And you know what? It rox. I felt really comfy.

So I can say that this Christmas day was the best day of my life because i can celebrate with m loved ones without really shrinking for the first time. So i really thank God for giving me such a blessing!

28th of dec, I went out with Madeleine to Jurong Point! hahaha! My dear bestie have become more feminine i see! muahahaha! but anyway, she showed me the new extension of the mall! it looks really cool!! (and new) Thanks for being there for me gal! i will always be there for you too whenever you need me! missing Sherie my bestie as well! hoping to meet her soon.

Writing this down because school is getting stated soon (CRIES). Oh well, must as well start getting up on my lazy bum!

New year's coming! my new years resolution:

1. be more thoughtful and stronger in my stand

2. be more confident

3.lose some weight

4. be a loving and helpful person to my family, friends and loved ones.

that's about it! hope you like my new blogskin. I dun really like the previous one!

Take care!

God bless!

the feeling of having a new chance

2008-12-01T22:03:00.002+08:00

Wanna thank Quan Quan for being there for me today.^^ had some personal problems.

You know i found out that having a new chance is like being reborn again. The chance to change to a better self, to regain what you have lost and to love those who love and care for you (friends included).

I know that chance very well. Ever since when I woke up from MI, and opened the door to a new path in SP. I can never ever forget the feeling. They say your body won't forgot the pain it had gone through, it's quite true. We can forget about the past, but we learn from it. That's what my body and mind did.

Just want to say that, while you still have a chance and all, make use of it. The closed door may seem scary but once it's open, courage floods in and you won't be afraid anymore.

Rmb to cherish those around you.

Hmmm... these past few days, I have been working on a project related to magazine, Monocle and Holland V. Will tok abt it when I have time^^!

God bless!
Take care!

lalala^^!

2008-11-29T15:07:00.007+08:00

cool! i have a new favorite song. Lyrics rox. cherish everyone (your famil, loved ones and friends) and everything (the days that you live) you have. sometimes things doesn' go your way and that's why learning to stand up to face the reality is important. yes. you can be very tired but not doing anything abt it will only exhaust you further. jus solve the problem and keep pushing forward. There are better things ahead. After all, it's not the many times you fall, but the many times you stand up. soooo yup^^! it's a note to myself and for others to take heed.^^

Dao Xiang 稻香(repeat version) - Jay Chou 周杰伦

對這個世界如果你有太多的抱怨

dui zhe ge shi jie ru guo ni you tai duo de bao yuan

If you have too many grievances towards this world

,跌倒了就不敢繼續往前走

die dao le jiu bu gan ji xu wang qian zou

Having fallen, you lose the courage to go on

為什麼人要這麼的脆弱墮落

wei shen me ren yao zhe me de cui ruo duo luo

Why do people want to be so weak and fallen?

請你打開電視看看

qing ni da kai dian shi kan kan

Please turn on the television now and see for yourself

多少人為生命在努力勇敢的走下去

duo shao ren wei sheng ming zai nu li yong gan de zou xia qu

So many people bravely fighting for their lives

我們是不是該知足,

wo men shi bu shi gai zhi zu

Shouldn't we be content,

珍惜一切　就算沒有擁有

zhen xi yi qie jiu suan mei you yong you

Cherish all we have, even if we don't possess them

還記得你說家是唯一的城堡

hai ji de ni shuo jia shi wei yi de cheng bao

I still remember you said home is your only castle

隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑

sui zhe dao xiang he liu ji xu ben pao

Following the paddy fragrance, the flowing stream, I continued running　

微微笑　小時候的夢我知道

wei wei xiao xiao shi hou de meng wo zhi dao

Smile, I know the childhood dreams　

不要哭讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑　

bu yao ku rang ying huo chong dai zhe ni tao pao

Don't cry, let the fireflies take you away, escaping　

鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠

xiang jian de ge yao yong yuan de yi kao

You will always find serenity in folk songs　

回家吧　回到最初的美好

hui jia ba hui dao zui chu de mei hao

Go home, return to the sweet past

不要這麼容易就想放棄　就像我說的

bu yao zhe me rong yi jiu xiang fang qi jiu xiang wo shuo de

Don't give up so easily, just like what I said,

追不到的夢想　換個夢不就得了

zhui bu dao de meng xiang huan ge meng bu jiu de liao

If the dream can't be reached, then just follow another dream

為自己的人生鮮艷上色　

wei zi ji de ren sheng xian yan shang se

Add bright colours to your own life

先把愛塗上喜歡的顏色

xian ba ai tu shang xi huan de yan se

Paint love in your favourite colour

笑一個吧　功成名就不是目的

xiao yi ge ba gong cheng ming jiu bu shi mu di

Smile, fame and success isn't the aim

讓自己快樂快樂這才叫做意義

rang zi ji kuai le kuai le zhe cai jiao zuo yi yi

Be happy. That is the whole meaning

童年的紙飛機　現在終於飛回我手裡

tong niang de zhi fei ji xian zai zhong yu fei hui wo shou li

(Just like how) I finally found my lost childhood innocence

所謂的那快樂　赤腳在田裡追蜻蜓追到累了

suo wei de na kuai le chi jiao zai tian li zhui qing ting zhui dao lei le

What is happiness? It's chasing dragonflies in the fields barefooted till we're
exhausted　

偷摘水果被蜜蜂給叮到怕了　誰在偷笑呢

tou zhai shui guo bei mi feng gei ding dao pa le shui zai tou xiao ne

Tried to steal fruits but suffered so much beestungs until i am scared. Who's
snickering (at me)?

我靠著稻草人吹著風唱著歌睡著了

wo kao zhe dao cao ren chui zhe feng chang zhe ge shui zhao le

Leaning against the scarecrow, enjoying the wind, singing songs till I fall asleep　

哦　哦　午後吉他在蟲鳴中更清脆

o o wu hou ji ta zai chong ming zhong geng qing cui

Oh~ Oh~ In the afternoon, the guitar chords sound more crisp amidst the cries of the
insects　

哦　哦　陽光灑在路上就不怕心碎

o o yang guang sa zai lu shang jiu bu pa xin sui

Oh~ Oh~ The sunlight shines on the road so there's no need to fear a heartbreak　

珍惜一切　就算沒有擁有

zhen xi yi qie jiu suan mei you yong you

Cherish everything, even if we don't possess them

Take care^^!
God bless^^!

sleeeeeeeeep

2008-11-24T08:31:00.001+08:00

zzzzZZZZZzzzz... yawn -.-

my week

2008-11-21T23:08:00.005+08:00

ok... so wad happened in my week?

last fri 14/8 ,i was really shagged from the project i had been working on.was so very tired.

The content box took the whole of my thursday night! rahhh! but at least it's done. I love my supplement more =)! After that, i borrowed little man with Quan Quan and watched it at my house =)!

then on sunday 16/8, I went to NorthPoint. and had lunch with Quan Quan. The reason why i went there? it's because we were doing a video for the video compeition. but somehow his laptop decides to hang on us -.-... ha... but it's ok^^! the food there was really awesome! had shushi

And then on tue 18/8, I had Crit. Thanks the honeymooners for supporting me. Also wanna thanks Qunan Quan for the very cute tigger he gave to me as support and for always being there for me. The comments were not bad at all. And then other things happened as well,can't say they are pleasant though.. so i shall leave it at there.

Wed 19/8, i went to watch madacarsca 2 with Quan Quan. Had sesame ice cream and strawberry cream puff. (boy, m i going to gain a few more pounds) And then we went to check out Bugis. Once again, the toys never fail to fancinate me^^!!muahaha^^!!

and then, cooked lunch for quan quan and me on Thurs 20/8. After that, watch some of my friend's crit.

Today, after school. went out with pei quan to West Coast Plaza and had ben and jerry ice-cream. After that, we walk around to chat and then we met up with Fiaz and people for a while before going home to have dinner with family.

Tmw, 21 Nov, going to BBQ with Quan Quan. Can't wait to see them nia^^! hahahaha^^! awaiting awaiting.

Btw, just a little tattle tale. Appreciate your loved ones because you will never know what happen in future. Love them as you love yrself. Because if there's one thing money can never buy and can never replaced are those who really love you.

ok^^! that's abt it^^!

Take care

God bless!

special moments

2008-11-15T22:39:00.006+08:00

ok^^! making all the special moments (of my love life)in one blog entry =P

27 Sep Here's our first anniersary:

We played the luge and cycled through out sentosa! I showed him a couple of my graphic works in Sakae Izakaya.

and then we chill at vivo and eat ice cream!! but before that, we were jus relaxing at the rooftop by the water and watching the kids play. dinner was really yummy^^!! we had Mee Pok for dinner and then we sat outside to watch the sun. and he gave me a bottle with 10 messages inside^^!! hahaha! i made him a video.

3rd Oct:

Made Pasta for Kevin while he came to my house to teach me to play guitar =P
here's a photo of our guitars.

Hers & His

8th oct and 9th oct:

On 8th Oct I went to Pei Quan's house for the first time^^!!! Yippee! was doing my portfolio and while he was doing his. Anyway, he finished his portfolio before i completed mine! ha... ok! but i really enjoy that day. He cooked for me for the first time! it was... fired noodles! hahaha! but it's really yummy and the food was really huge!! O.O he stuffed me... -.-... rah!!

And then on (th Oct, we went printing our portfolio and clarified some stuff. hmmm... but i m really glad that we come to understand each other. It was all a misunderstanding -.-... ha.... but ok la^^! i am glad we resloved it.

Then we went to a park near by pei quan's place to explore. I notice a birdnest there^^!! ha.... things that u dun notice start to appear when you take it slow.

There's so many things that quan quan hadn't notice until then! then we played with the swings and playgrounds. hahaha! his slippers fell out. After that, i gained 4 packs.... from laughing.

10th Oct:

went to repair one of the string of my guitar, Eva... T.T... ha... one of the strings snapped. But anyways, good news is that we had it fixed at less than ten dollars and manage to borrow a DVD. Then we baked cookies at home!^^ yippee^^! but we burned them! cries. oh well, now we know. *never leave your oven to cook for you*

27th Oct:

My annuversary present to him! muahaha! blueberry cheesecae^^! he's really sweet! he made me a towel cake with apples on it^^! i really really love them^^!!

Then we went to north point. so fun! yeah. It was quite a short while but i really enjoyed my timw with him^^!!

30th Oct:

Had a new haircut!! The hair cut's cool but i really didn't expect it to be chopped off! Pei Quan's new hair cut was really really cooool!! i love it! it makes him look more matured and even more suave.

too bad i was having fever! ha... i loathe (luv) being sick!

1st Nov

I had my piano exam. FINALLY!!! the LAST pian exam i will EVER take!! YESSSS!!! now i can become a piano teacher (soon). Anyway, Pei Quan went to pick me up and I watch him to have dinner. and yeah... i was caving for ice-cream really badly. And so, he let me have a strawberry popsicle from a korean shop!

and i think i literally became his teddy bear while i ate ice-cream -.-.

5th Nov:

Went to Jurong Library and Imm to have lunch and tok about the video project we had taken up on! Not bad! But it rained!!

10th Nov:

Had quite an awful morning. I stayed up to 4 am just to read one pathetic book i had no idea on. It was crazy ok? roar! and then i went to have breakfast with Pei Quan. Then went to play soccer with Pei quan^^!! it was like super duper fun.

yup, there's a lot of special moments. But i willrmb them in my heart and mind. If i were to write them down (in detail) be prepared to see a novel! ha... but ok la. ever since I am with Pei Quan, I notice I change a lot with him too. Perhaps, having a slightly better time management and know how to set my priorities right^^! ok! that's abt it (for now) I will update tmw^^!

updates updates and update

2008-10-23T13:21:00.005+08:00

sorry i haven't come online recently! There's so man things to write about! serve me right for not updating! ha.... -.-

ok^^... so let's start ya?

25 Sept

Quan Quan and me went to jurong point to cut his hair and after that, we went to the japanese restaurant at West Coast way for some really yummy yummy lunch. They were playing hokkien songs and we went like O.o... hahaha^^! it's quite interesting^^! but the food really rockz^^!

his new hairstyle! muahaha!

his yummy food!

And then after that, we went to esplanade to get my guitar^^! yippee!! hahaha^^! Eva (my guitar) is now the new addition to my musical family ! happy happy! I will upload the image later.

while we were there, we saw an art musuem! It was really interesting. People actually sketch different pespective of a playground. Then we saw the use of dots, lines and smodge. And then there was a poem of improving oneself has no limit of age. hahaha^^!

And then we went to bugis to look at interesting stuff!! (mainly stuff that look like food *_*) haaa... ^^! but we found some toys that look like real bread and pastries. Look what we bought! muaha!

Meet Coffee Cream and Notti Tutti

We bought them according to our personalities. I brought home the naughty guy! hahaha! I love squashing the poor thing.

And then when we had dinner. i shall announce this,

I WILL NEVER EVER EAT THE HIP BURGER at hip diner USA EVER AGAIN!

it bleeds ok!! and it's like super erky. I felt like dying there. Pei Quan had the lamb chop!

Other than that, that's abt it. Anyway, I am logging off now. Will be updating more on what happen quite "recently" ( a long way to go).

God bless!

Take Care!!

hmmm

2008-10-04T00:04:00.002+08:00

hmmm... there's some things that bother me and i find myself wondering, what happened and wad's in me. I guess i have to push myself on dun i? wad's the point to wallow and worry if i don't do anything?

Whatever it is,

umeko from now on,

1. believe in herself

2. dicipline herslf

3. be more aware

4. fulfill all her promises to herself and to others

CAN DO IT!! muahahaha! will jia you! I want to believe!

take care!

god bless!

crocs design

2008-09-18T00:47:00.011+08:00

Dedicate this to Pei quan^^!

no matter what, i will be beside you.

sharing yr pain and happiness,

laughing and smiling with you,

feeling blessed and fortunate,

just being with you,

no words can be expressed,

and so, i hope this song could

perhaps help a little^^!

OK^^! so yup^^! what I did today...

Anyway, Pei Quan and I met up to do the CROCS DESIGN^^! yay^^! so fun^^! went to big bookstore and bought some markers to use^^! they are really fun and easy to use^^!

here's our handiworks^^!

Ours!^^

us^^! hahaha! so fun!!

yup! the crocs design thing was enjoyable! hahaha... i really love Pei Quan! must jia you for portfolio!!hahaha! but yup! i had a fun time^^!

Praise god!

Take care!

god bless^^!

16 sept esplanade

2008-09-18T00:47:00.006+08:00

hmmm.... on Monday, went out with pei quan to Cineleisure to watch wall-e. really dressed up for Pei Quan. In the end, i turned out looking um.... attention-grabbing. hahaha^^! oh well, it's the hat that seems o be attracting all that attention. but ok la, at least i took it off and things flowed more smoothly then.

Wall E is really touching, CUTE and funny^^! The main character was really cute! you just don't wan anything to happen to Wall E because he's really innocent and sweet^^! hahaha^^! but his devotion is really remarkable. *salutes*

Then, we went to Taka and visited Opera Gallery. There were new paintings^^! looks really interesting. Actually, can see Pei Quan is really good in interpreting some of the paintings^^! Actually, you can learn a lot about the culture and the perspective of the artists through paintings. They are really interesting. Then, I introed him the yummy cream puff^^! it's really yummy ok^^!!

Some pictures of us camwhoring in Gelare in Far East Plaza!^^

Heh heh! I nearly got us lost in the search for Far East Plaza. Met my tkd friend there, Min Yi. Thanks a lot^^! if u hadn't tell me, i will probably still be very lost! hahahaha^^! But yup^^! We reached there^^! yay^^! He got a new hat for himself and we had Gelare's waffles^^! they are really very yummy^^! but after that, we became a little afraid of the sweet stuff^^!

After that, we dropped by Clarke Quay to see the lanterns. Sadly, the lanterns were kept!! Rah!! So we just had a simple dinner in the foodcourt there before heading to esplanade. We had a tasty little drink in Harry's Bar, called Sunshine Paradise.

a not very good pic of it -.-

But the drink was really really good^^!!

and the view from the esplanade rooftop was really BE-AU-TI-FUL!

hahaha^^! i really like the moment best^^! watching pei quan really relax and we just chat quietly. It;s really the best moment! i wil really treasure that day and the most important, Pei Quan himself^^!

Super lucky^^! super happy! Thank god! good day to u all!

Take care!

God bless!!

thursday sweets

2008-09-14T23:22:00.005+08:00

on thurday,went to play badminton with pei quan!! yayyyy! He's quite good in badminton. I really did a great workout. At first, he figured out my way of playing and was really trashing me. But after a while i got up to it!^^ yay^^! but he's really really good. However, i believe that he will become better in future! looking forward to it, i love the challenge!

Then, he went with me to Bras Basar to check out the guitars there. Swee Lin's company sells really expensive guitars!! I can't find one within my budget! so we went to another store and guess wad!!! I found one within my budget and more under my budget!! was so happy!! yippee!! then pei quan taught me a little about guitars! yay^^! however, WHY CAN"T THEY DESIGN GUITARS FOR LEFT HANDERS!! RAH! hahaha!!

It was evening then so we went to eat ramen at Ajisen bugis^^! Pei Quan really loves to eat noodles^^! hee hee! enjoying every moment with him. It was super super yummy^^! strike out one of the list in my want list, i bought a knee length tight. Somehow my style change again somewhere this year. Hope it's for the better! ^^!

The day is really fun^^! really enjoy it^^! hahaha^^! happy people! lalala!

Take care!^^
god bless^^!

KL trip

2008-09-14T22:51:00.009+08:00

hahaha!^^ ok... so yup, it's been a while since i came back from Malaysia, but i still rmb them pretty well. The first thing when i came to Malaysia is that I found out that I have 3 little cousins who are of primary school age. The youngest is like 8 years old?

they are so cute ok! running around here and there. Sometimes they have wise cracks and rahhh... they can be really naughty but they are fun to hang around with^^! First time interacting with kids! not too bad! jus tok to them normally and play with them and they will hang around^^!

anyway, the shops there are awesome!!!

Cultural shops like this beats hands down!!

on the 2nd day, cable car went up and up and up to GENTING HIGHLAND!! but the cold weather certainly makes people look awesome!

A fake Rafflesia! ha.... -.-

My adoring grand aunt and my younger looking mom! cold weather really brings out the good complextion!

In the cable car...

I feel good^^!!

And then the hotel at genting there is really awesome! the views are just WOW! amazing!

Really really breathtaking^^!

The food is good and when we make our way down, i played with the kids and eat and eat and eat.... OH! and eat -.-... boy, i really gain a couple of kg --> fats. X.X cries...

Other than that, things were good! I really love the family there. But i am really glad to come home as well. i miss my pei quan!!! hahaha... went crazy there! but it's ok! missing makes the heart go fonder. ( optimistic view of one feeling, miss! but hey! optimistic is good!)

but yup! that about it for KL!!

Take care^^!

God bless!!

2008-09-09T22:34:00.002+08:00

Whoohoo!!! i m bck from KL!!! finally^^! i had a lot of fun there! learned a lot about myself and definitely learned some things that i seriously need to change! really miss pei quan a lot! hahaha! but there are times i really wish to know what to do to help him and make him feel better. i really do! but one thing i can do will be i will always be there for him, always shower him with my support and love. yup, and so much more here!

Will be updating more about my trip tmw^^! now have a stinking idiotic migraine!

ciao!^^
take care!
god bless!

3 sep 2008

2008-09-04T12:21:00.006+08:00

yesterday, went out with Pei Quan to ice skate^^! super fun^^! hahaha^^! Somehow i managed to see different expressions on his face. I kind of realize that having more people around you is actually really fun but when you are ice skating, it's kinda dangerous. He nearly sliced 2 kids yesterday O.O... but overall, it's really fun^^!

but before that, went to take some neoprint with Pei Quan! hahaha^^! the pictures turned out really nice! yay^^!

Hmmm... we actually planned to go to esplanade, but in the end, we didn't -.-. Have to go and help my mom pack our bags for the KL trip. Intially, I didn't wish to go, but my relatives want to see me, sooo... yeah^^. I will go! will be missing pei quan though!

In the end, we decided to eat Japanese food at my childhood area! The japanese stores were closed and it only opens in the evening. .. -.- It was 4!! sooo, i decided to show him the small little park i used to play with i was a kid!^^

The park still have swings^^! yippee!! hahahaha! You cannot find this kind of swings these days! sighh, the old fun days! But i'm really glad i m still able to use those swings now! They are really rare! Somehow, after the renovation, the park became really lovely looking. Like in those old english books! minus the english cottage though! but the park is really beautiful although it's really tiny. Quality is better than quantity! Muahaha!

The beautiful park!!

Watching the flowers bloom! It's a hibiscus btw!

And then pei quan was like swinging in mid air =P!

Then we went to Clementi for dinner^^! hahaha! introduced him all the yummy hawker food! Yayy! we will be going there again =P! Happy people!!

Overall, although, things didn't really go to plan, but i really enjoyed myself being with Pei Quan and everything!^^ Hope you guys have a lovely holiday too!^^

Take care!^^

God bless!^^

libraryyyy

2008-09-01T23:10:00.013+08:00

library day today^^! wanted to looks for some portfolios and books about interior design^^! Went with Pei quan today^^! yuppie^^! hahaha^^! feel so happy^^!

hahaha^^! yup^^! met Pei Quan at 11am at the Bukit Batok Mrt Station and then went on to SP FC4. Brought him some fried rice I made yesterday^^! Yay^^! glad that he really liked it^^! didn't know but I felt rather relieved that the rice went well with the scambled eggs i made for him this morning^^!

Introduced him the yummy french loaf at fc4^^! it's really yummy ok^^!

And then after that, we went on the the library to search for books. I can tell you honestly, finding those books is like treasure hunt. Somehow they got the gift to really hide -.-... hahaha^^! but we did found them in the end^^! Learned a little about games design today^^! ain't a easy one and also required a lot of teamwork^^! hmmm^^... ok la^^! but after explaining to Pei Quan about my course, I actually cleared some parts in my mind. And, I feel clearer over how to start my portfolio^^!

Then, we went to see a movie, "Open Season" in the media room upstairs^^! hahaha^^! love that show^^! Actually I have always loved cartoons^^! It's just about a bear and his friend, the deer adapting to the woods^^! whooper funny^^! But somehow, Pei Quan cried at some of the sadder parts of the movie O.o... hahaha^^! nvm^^! I love him just the way he is^^!

After that, we kind of have a surprise encounter with three of my friends. Alice was like RAHHHH over me O.O... hahaha^^! but really glad to see them^^! hahaha^^! I was really speechless after that^^! hahaha^^!

Then, Pei Quan accompanied me all the way to Bouna Vista^^! thank you^^! even though it takes you longer to go home, you do that to spend some time for me^^!

After that, I met up with Xuan Wen^^! My very close friend and senior from my Sec school^^! we went to Holland V. For gals who do not even have a sense of direction, it's quite miraculous to actually arrive there without getting lost^^! and the best part was that it was based on memory^^! Yup^^!

After thar, we walked a little while and then examined some perfume from Sasa! Found a really good perfume called "Deep Red" from Hugo boss^^! Smells really delieious^^! It smells like soda =P! I love it! hahaha^^! but of cuz, i still love my current perfume! It's called "Aztique" from body shop. Gives off a nice yummy fruity smll^^! hmmm.. somehow i jus got interested by pefumes and cologne^^! No thanks to someone! but it's really great! hahaha^^!

Aztique from body shop^^!

Yup^^! so anyway, that's abt it today^^! hahaha^^! must jia you this hols^^! really should work hard! Also, want to get to know pei quan better^^!yay^^!

Take care^^!
God bless^^!
Ciao^^!

special special week^^

2008-08-31T19:27:00.011+08:00

hmmmm.... ok^^! let's update for this week ya^^?

Monday:
went to mind's cafe^^! super fun^^! think we played abt 5- 6 games all tgt?O.o

hahaha^^! but it's super duper fun^^! we jumped, screamed, clapped and snatch. Ugly doll, Caution: very VERY violent^^! hahaha^^!

Tuesday:

Had piano tuition, watched Tarzan 2 and had tkd^^! Tarzan 2 is really really cute^^! but it's a bit lame too -.-... hahaha^^! anyway, it's nice for anyone who loves cartoons like me^^! tkd was fun and tiring, had to do shadow sparring -.-... i jus got pretty much stoned as i ran round and round the circle. All we need is the mulberry bush^^! (i m being lame, nvm if u dun understand^^) Overall, it's quite fun la^^! i loooove some parts of the exercise^^! thennn yup. night time i heard special news^^! yippee^^! secret secret^^!

Wednesday:

A super whooper fun day^^! went out with Pei Quan to the library because I want to check out some design magaxines. Then we went to Clarke Quay for lunch and explore the place^^! I want to go there at night!!! muahaha! ^^ then went back to the library to borrow some books and have dinner at IMM. And then head home^^! Wish i got pictures^^! some sceneries there are super yummy^^!

Thursday:

went to Madeleine's place for lunch^^! It's so much fun cooking tgt. It really helps with bonding^^! oh well, madeleine has been my bestie for how many years^^! She and sherie are practically my sisters^^! hahaha^^! too bad we didn't go swimming that day>.<... raiiiininnng... I want the three of us to meet up again!!! i miss the three musketeers!! oooh yeah, then went with my mom to the hair solon and I got myself a new dress^^! yippee^^!hahaha^^! that's only part of the dress^^! ain't gonna show all =P! sigh... my eyes are closed! y!?!

Friday:

Hmmmm... oh yeaaaa! I brought a new pair of running shoessss^^! yippeee^^! hahaha^^! I looove it^^! the brand is called sarcony^^! not too bad^^! i prefer new balane though =P. oh well^^! First time navigating the map for my parent>.<. See how late a developer i am? >.<>

arrrgh... i hate the stupid blogger sometimes. Anyway can tell me how to separate the words from the pics? they seem to glue to each other no matter how i try to separate them!

Had tkd that night^^! super fun^^! really trained up on kicking and there was a really fun game^^! sth like poison ball^^!!

Saturday
nth much^^! jus went running with pei quan at yishum stadium (fuuuun! run 6-7 rounds!!^^) and went to peek at the nationals tkd at yishun indoor stadium^^! hmmm, my friend participated on sunday! Hope she's doing all right!

Sunday

went to church with Mom and darren. gonna miss darren when he goes to india! but i hope he's doing ok and jia you darren^^! I will always be behind you surpporting you^^!

Then went to have lunch with my family to celebrate mom's birthday^^! Had some yummilicious food^^! but before i can take the nice pictures, they were eaten T.T! hahaha^^! oh well, the chinese food was really good^^!

And then after that, i tried out cooking on my own^^! made fried rice^^! hahaha^^! it was not too bad^^1 my family liked it^^! next time can cook for people^^!

anyway, yup^^! that's abt it^^!

take care^^! god bless^^!

fireworks pics

2008-08-24T14:53:00.003+08:00

hahaha^^! ok^^! here's some of the fireworks pics on the 22nd August^^!!

Here's at PS!^^

The BEAU-TI-FUL fireworks!

Cam whoring while we were waiting^^!

yup^^! that's abt it^^!
take care^^!
god bless^^!

fireworks XD!!

2008-08-23T23:22:00.008+08:00

first thing first!!

for 22nd august,

I want to say HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to my dearest SHEIRIEEE!! my bestie of dunno how many years and she sticked by me through thick and thin. Miss you gal^^! hahaha^^!

Anyway, yup! yesterday went out with Pei Quan!^^ so fun^^!

First we went to get the tickets for the movie and then I introduced the whatsisname ice cream and the chocolate brownie to Pei Quan. Geezz.... can't rmb the name. But yeah! pretty happy that he really likes it alot^^! Then we head over to Opera gallery! Honestly, you must really explore the place. The paintings are extraordinary. Each of them tells a story! wow!!

After that, we went to see the movie, "Not enough money 2"! It was really quite sad and funny. Actually it's funny at the beginning, we were laughing pretty hard and then tears came around the end. The ending is really touching. My rate for the movie: 7/10. Why 7? It's good because it really reflect on us and how we really take into money. But, the characters are forever talking about money. It really makes some parts really boring. But overall, it's a really good movie. You should really check it out^^!
After that, we had fun trying the fragrances from the shops. hahaha... imagine two people checking out the hugo boss cologne. Yup^^! Pei Quan really likes the cologne. So i just sneakily sprayed the cologne at him^^! hey! it's nice ok^^! then we had fun in body shop!^^ haha^^... I forgot to bring my perfume and so happens body shop have it so we went to go to the shop three times =P. hahaha^^!

Then we went to Marina Bay to see the fireworks. i only have one word for this, BE-AU-TI-FUL!!!!! it's so gorgeous that I am left exilated and breathless and absolutely mindless! hahaha... another meaning, i went super high!!!Ok! the picture is not good enough to show what i really saw. But it was really WOW! really! omg!!! Hahahaha^^! It's a long time since I felt so exilarated and happy. It was beautiful^^!!! by the end of it, i was singing and skipping around. Somehow, i think Pei Quan was a bit O.O by me^^!! hahaha^^!

ok la^^! after that, we rested a while and took some time to cool down. I really enjoyed the day^^! hahaha^^! felt so happy^^! yup^^!

what have i been doing

2008-08-20T21:42:00.003+08:00

ciao^^! come stai? hahaha^^! listening to jazz now^^! feeling preety jazzed up now^^!

so what have I been doing^^? and swearing about?

I have been working on a project that have to do with the site, margaret drive^^!

here's some of my works.

hahaha^^! yup^^! that's my work^^! hahaha^^! other than that, life's pretty normal^^!

that's abt it^^!
god bless^^!
ciao^^!

moment of insanity

2008-08-14T06:45:00.002+08:00

umeko's moment of insanity:

when i am stressed,
many colourful words come out of my mind

beware of the brink of vulgarities.
then again, i will keep them inside myself,

cuz once i open my mouth,
well, there goes my image.

insane moment.*swearing inside*

quiet emotions

2008-08-08T23:09:00.002+08:00

smile when there's no need to,
love as if there's no hurt,
laugh even when no one hears,
dance when no one's watching,
sometimes you do things
when no one's looking
but it means something to you.

Smile! u r not alone because there are people around you^^. just look for them and you will find them^^!

sorry^^! random thoughts. but i thought they are quite beautiful so i just worte them down^^!

take care^^!
god bless^^!

rahhhhhh

2008-08-07T16:04:00.004+08:00

so weird O.o... it's amazing how u wish not to have that emotion but u still have it? how irritating. Arrrrgh! i guess i jus dun wan to have that emotion now. I dun wish to have that emotion for a very looooong time and it happened blaringly.

O.o... so weird. it's like so unpredictable sometimes. Think i will just bite myself, get on with my life and ignore that emotion that seems to be draining me. I am not going to deny it anymore, iam not going to force myself from restraining it. I will just live my life with that clumsy idiotic emotion. I will jus pray that it will quieten itself until i m ready to face it.

Dun think now's a good time!

must JIA YIU JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!! CAN DE!!!^^

yay^^!

god bless^^!

2008-08-04T22:46:00.001+08:00

hmmmm.... ok la^^! must jia you^^! going to turn off the internet again^^. hopefully i can focus now. feel a little sian cuz i got to get my butt off the chair soon, but hey i'm coping! 2 more weeks to go! must really jia you!!!

2008-08-04T08:31:00.002+08:00

can someone kill me now -.-? argh! not gonna use internet this entire week. good luck to me. die... at least i m gonna focus now. rahhhh...

new life

2008-07-30T21:50:00.002+08:00

so begins the new life of me being single. I am actually a lot better now, from the heart aches and everything. Of cuz, i am still on the road on becoming a better person. Just that, hmmm... getting used to be single. Ok la^^! i won't say i m happy everyday. Last week was quite bad. I don't know how I could get emo quite easily.

But at least I am better now^^! hahaha^^! anyway, hmmm.. htere are a few promises (again) that i make to myself. Been noticing some flaws lately^^. soooo I won't say them out yet, unless i complete my promise. Must jia you!!

Love Song - Sara Bareilles

go go go!!

god bless^^!

15 weird things or habits

2008-07-24T01:08:00.004+08:00

whoohoo!!! gee thanks Jin Qiao! I shall rmb that u tag me^^! beware to tag back!!!! ok la^^! just kidding. what a weird thing to ask me to do. Anway here goes,

Rule: Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. NO TAG BACKS!

1. I was an introvert (i think some of u guys know that, as for the rest, surprise surprise!)

2.I probably have more guy friends than girl friends. (it jus happens. I dun really pick)

3. I learn malay before I learn chinese (wow again)

4. One day, a boy's nose got smashed,coutesy of me (I hate to hurt people, this is exceptional)

5. I sing to myself (pls dun ask me to sing, my singing is horrendous)

6.I was the hardcore Clay Aiken fan last time (surprise again!)

7.I used to cross dress when I was younger (can't rmb when,but yeah,i did)

8.I sleep holding a cross in my hand

9.I don't really like the dark (but heck, i won't show it)

10. I used to hate being a girl (it seemed troublesome last time)

11.My hands can go 360 degree clockwise

12.I like to sit with one of my leg up on the table (when i was young)

13. My thumb can bend all the way back

14.I loved pink when i was younger. Barbie pink! (the other half of my childhood)

15. I used to have long hair down to my back.

people i tagged:
1. Chew Yin
2. Madeleine
3.Veggie
4. Sok Hui
5. Alice

Anglia, Jonathan and Jamie, u guys have been busy, so it's up to u k^^?

Take care^^!
God bless^^!

eleanor will jia you^^!

2008-07-23T21:08:00.002+08:00

whoooo^^! i really truly feel happy today^^! yay yay^^! composed a fantastic song^^! it will need refining but it's gonna be great^^! eleanor jia you jia you jia you^^!

also thanks god nia^^! if it weren't for this song, i guess i will still be crying^^@ happy nia^^!

god bless^^!

2008-07-21T15:50:00.002+08:00

somehow i need a hug... seriously>.<

out with liang hao

2008-07-20T21:29:00.002+08:00

heyyyy^^! went out with liang hao^^! today^^! watched batman and ate ramen^^! super happy nia^^! liang hao, i guess he's like a brother to me^^! He's always there for me and always keep in ouch with me^^! sooo, i guess i m really lucky to have a friend like him^^!

anyway, the photos are umpresentable =.=... sigh!! so i can't post! rahhhh! ok la^^! had fun today^^!

Happy Birthday Sok Hui!

2008-07-14T21:03:00.009+08:00

heyyyy! Happy birthday Sok Hui! Hope you are doing fine^^! hahaha^^! stay bubbly and cute always^^! smile^^! Hope you have a great year ahead,excel in what you are doing, be healthy and last but not least, be happy always^^!

Here's the video we made^^:

hope you like it^^! (sorry...>.<)
god bless^^!
Ciao^^!

words are just words

2008-07-10T21:30:00.004+08:00

Lighten heart may,
turn like the reason that cause the ripples,
of the quiet river,
where flowing among the currents,
where unheard actions dance along the rapids,
smiling upside down as I swam along the currents,
the current that seem fast or slow, I don't know,
I just swim in it cuz it's the present,
shall find a stop over soon

hahaha^^! just feel like writing a poem^^! it's quite interesting^^! hahaha^^!

must jia you^^! jia you jia you jia you^^!

jumpy

2008-07-09T20:49:00.002+08:00

i feel very VERY jumpy today.

Had an experience of something weird in the afternoon until right now, i still feel a little afraid to use my laptop. However, still have to use it to do homework. Gosh!

Anyway, after that jumpy moment, I went for the poly 50 training. Almost had a jumpy asthma attack. But good thing i stopped! Overall, it's quite fun. It's been a while since i have a good workout. Feel motivated to do work again.

And now, using the laptop again. Still feel jumoy and freaked out but no choice, i had to do homework. What a jumpy day. >.< ergh... oh well...must JIA YOU^^!

take care^^!
God bless^^!

yawn

2008-06-30T03:23:00.003+08:00

it's 3 am in the morning. late right? Just have the sudden urge to blog. Went to church in the morning. Experienced the most wondrous feeling in the world.

Then my friends and i chatted. Hmmm... i guess it's quite fun^^! but i do get a little distracted. =X sorry guys! but it's fun using skype with u guys.

Anyway, i miss him again. But i am very much better than the past few days. Now i can concentrate better and my heart has lessen the hurt. But of cuz, the feeling (starts with L) will remain.I think it will remain for a very long time. It's not a bad thing really^^. Of cuz, i m open now, but if my heart stop the L feeling immediately, then wad's the years of relationship for^^. ok la^^! I am getting better^^! will be more responsible^^! i won't run le. Enough break^^!

Umeko, FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

Hahaha^^! ok le^^! sleepig time^^!

good night^^!
god bless^^!

*hugs*

realizing

2008-06-28T02:07:00.027+08:00

Thanks you guys for showing your concern for me. I really appreciate it. And it's because of you guys, i fell better now.

Today, I had pin up so i just pin up my thoughts and blah blah blah. And then went to the peranakan museum. It's quite interesting.

Check out the jewelleries. Nonyas like them in pairs

The Emboidery is so beautiful! Bella Bella!

Guess what's this for?

*it's for the knees*

Yup^^! actually there'a a lot more, but my cam's batt went out so... well... sob sob. If i post some of the darker pictures here, I think they will come out as scary. So i think i better not.

Anyway, after that, I went to the Margaret Drive (MY Margaret drive!!!) *inside joke.. sorry!* But yeah, went out there to stroll and take videos. Become part of the "crowd" in there by just sitting there and doing nothing. Look around and slowly stroll and try to experience. Found out some concepts or essence. But hopefully i can look a little more deeper^^. We shall see.

It looks abandoned... (by it's own leaves) T.T

It just expresses to me of the place being abandoned. the place is existing but not existing.

And the sunset is beautiful^^!

I just realize how much i took things for granted. Yes, I miss him and everything. I really miss the part he kisses my forehead. oh well, at least we don't hurt each other. And i am glad it was a peaceful one^^!

But here's what i will say again. I really smiled and laugh today and really thank u guys for giving me a day of laughter and the lovely sweet caring comments. Thank you so much^^! I felt much better than yesterday.

That's abt it^^!

God bless^^!
Ciao^^!

it's the 100 posts and my heart cries... what irony

2008-06-26T19:37:00.002+08:00

It's the 100th post and i can't really bring myself to smile truly.

You want to know why i don't want to do self-pity and wallow about the matter? Cuz self pity makes you give excuses so that you don't have to do things. And truly, it sucks.

It jus hurts you know. It just really hurt and it's biting me quietly but painfully. I ignored it, and so I wanted to move on.

No matter how much I smile, or laugh, it hurts deep inside. And i can't cry. Esp not in front of the people concerned about me. I am fine, just hurting.

I feel tired and sick of everything. To be honest, I am just running away from everything. I just want to. But i can't. I am running away from so many things now and my mind told me to just give me one week.

But that's jus excuses to get away from things. It's just... i don't know what to say. Jus because sth bad happen to me, doesn't me, I neglect all responsibilities i have right? The emotion really sux. I still feel hurt. i really miss him, but if i write that aloud, it will only hurt him. I don't want that.
.
But I will move on, I will stand up on my feet again. I have to and want to. It's time to discover myself. Now, i have to find a way to get rid of this lingering emotion. Too long and it's going to become pathetic.

God bless^^.
Take care^^!

* this is jus to write about my emotions, i hope not to discuss it and for it not to be brought up*

friends... but he will always remain n my heart

2008-06-24T23:42:00.003+08:00

Well... here we are. Friends now yes? It's really a peaceful and somehow sweet break up that i ever seen in history.

but there's no such thing as better guy. I guess it's just how we get along together. It's partly my fault as well. It's a little hilarious to actually laugh and chat along the phone. And the thing that is almost unbelievable, is that u didn't put down the phone as i cry, u stood right beside me.

For this past 3 years and 11 months, i shared so much with you. All the suffering, or joys, we have taken it all up. The best thing is to know that even though love can be troublesome (or so what i used to think) but it's worth it, every bit of it.

I really want to thank you. Even when we talked about all the parts that we are angry of, we actually laugh it off and settle it.

I cannot find a guy like you. I really do love you. and you will always stay in my heart. I love you. it's jus that i guess both of us are really different now i guess.

But i hope i can still be able to call you, to share your burdens with you. AND Of cuz, i also really hope you find a girl more suitable than me^^!

No matter what, you are welcome to talk to me and hang around me. I really do not mind.

Take care of yourself k? Be more confident of yourself, believe you can succeed. Cuz i believe you can. Think twice before you do anything. And when a Better lady comes along your way, do take care of each other. BE HAPPY K? Take care!

- You will never be forgotten -

God bless^^!
take care^^!

reflections

2008-06-17T10:05:00.002+08:00

you know, it's quite interesting when u read people's blogs^^. Of cuz, i do it quite discreetly, i mean who will go blurting out about people's lives? I guess i m just curious how people live their lives.

The thing of being 17 onwards, you start wondering about yourself and who you will be when you start working. Will things go well?

I did say i started out pretty badly, always lving in the past, not wanting to come out to the world. I guess i got scared but i didn't want to show it. Then again, it's nnot an excuse. But i am really lucky that I woke up in time to find out that what I am doing is wrong.

I do worry about the future. What about the friends who are going through thick and thin with me? hmmm... I really treasure them with all my heart. I really really do^^! Esp now there are the honeymooners. I don't know what I did do without them. They are really awesome, any words related to awesome and we have fun tgt^^!

Some people are afraid tat their close ones will leave them. I have experienced them myself and i definitely won't say it's a piece of cake to let go so easily. Cuz heck it's not! but through time, we form our own lives and we make new friends and the cycle repeats again.

What I am saying is that, yes we will have memories and we don't know what's there in future^^. The only thing now is to live in the present. Memories, yes we can't live in the past, but it kind of showed us that we once spent our time together and laugh together. And because of that, no matter how faded, there will always be a bond. Whether we keep in touch or not, we will still remember each other. That's part of life i think. but it's what makes our lives meaningful because sooner or later, it's part of who we are^^.

Hahaha^^! dun mind me, jus feel like updating and thinking about... well... stuff^^!

see you soon^^!
God bless^^!

my early days as a writer pt 2

2008-06-05T17:22:00.005+08:00

Ok... somy previous entry has the emo story right? here's the hilarious one.

Note: I was crazy about anime and I still am. But now, i guess i rather create stories which i can find to write in my own style. Sooo... bear in mind, this is my early writing hobby days and i really love them.

-When your friend likes yr fiend-

Ian had been acting weird for two days and I decided to confront him before I go crazy trying to guess what in the el was bothering him.

“Ok, out with it,” I cornered him.

“Heh? Neh…. Ume-chan, what are you talking about?” Ian blinked his amber eyes, innocent.
“You have been acting weird this few days… First, you add broccoli in your coffee and then you nearly got killed because you mistaken Hina-chan with Rin- chan which is very strange because their appearance are two worlds apart, and after that, you ruined my twenty thousand dollars microwave by putting a fork to it and just apologizing that you were “just” careless. Do you know you have nearly burnt my whole kitchen down and one quarter of it is already gone!?!” I fixed him with a tantalizing glare; all flared up about my kitchen.

Ian gulped.

“Out with it……now…” cold voice.

So Ian told me his feelings.

“Ume-chan, I think I am in love,” Ian blushed.

“Really? With who?”

“Rin-chan”

[My thoughts, words in italics]

What?!? You are in love with her?!?

“I mean she is beautiful…”

Yup, beautiful alright… Horse teeth, bug eyes and big mouth, I am pretty sure she can turn any boy’s heart.

“And she is so sweet…”

Have you taste a crab apple? Because that is what her sweetness taste like…

“Do you see her skin? It’s smooth and soft…”

Hmmm… Soft huh? Do the muscles count? I could have sworn they are rock hard…

“And she is so innocent…”

Keh…I bet he hadn’t seen the stuff she keeps under the pillow, condoms are just not what we call innocent…

“Neh… Ume-chan, she is your friend right? I heard you mention this to me before…”

I think you heard wrongly, I said FIEND, not FRIEND!

“Anyway, can you introduce me to her, Ume-chan? Pleasssse?” Ian eyes twinkled.

“Um… Ian-chan, I don’t think this is a good idea?” I backed away slowly.

“PLEEEASE!!” Ian eyes were twinkling with tears and his lips were quivering.

“This is going to be a long day,” I thought as Ian dragged me kicking and screaming into the canteen.

“NOOOOoooooo”

my early days as a writer

2008-06-05T17:12:00.006+08:00

Interesting! i was reading my blog entries in the days when i just started writing as a hobby. I can still remember the fun and trill i got each time i created a new story. I really miss doing that! only, maybe cuz i m too lazy..-.-... sigh... anyway, it's also quite strange because the stories I wrote can be extremely emo or extremely funny. Here's one example of my emo stories. Can't believe i was so emo... BUT! It's quite good. I hope you like it.^^

-Not me, you-

I remember the time when I first fell in love with you. How funny it seems because I never believe in love in first sight….. But I did. When you appeared in the television for the very first time, I saw light from the darkness. Something I never felt before.

I became your biggest fan, cheering you in every concert, watching you’re every move, remembering every single detail about your life. Not only did I love you, I want to be you, not me. Why? Because I love you. Because I know I can never get a chance to be with you. At least when I am you, I am in love with myself. Why will you want a girl to be your life partner anyway? You are heterosexual, while me… well… I am different.

The opportunity came to become you had arrived. Maybe the reason is because that my voice is exactly like yours. The vocal chords, the sing song voice but also a voice that light up any audience…. I can become you.

It sounds strange, I know.

I was approached by a high authority figure. Naïve, I was so naïve. But what can 16 year old girl know? All she wants is to love you… to have her dream to become just like you. I didn’t know there was a war brewing. Maybe I should read the newspapers.

I remembered how weird it feels on the hospital bed. But awkward feeling was gone when I saw the mirror. Your beautiful and gorgeous face mixed with innocence was my reflection. I nearly kissed the mirror. You are so beautiful, so sweet and though you seem so innocent, there is actually maturity inside you.

I remembered meeting you in one of those space ships. Shaking your graceful and soft hand, I could not believe that I had met you. I was your substitute, so you can be at two places in one time.

The war was treacherous. We got closer together, giving each other company during these difficult times. But once again, what can a 16 year old girl know? You looked so doubtful of the government and so worried. I felt my heart break to see you cry. Then later, I found out that you married secretly, I knew that my bleeding heart would never heal again.

Finally, the government had no use of the propaganda tools that was needed so much once upon a time. They sent assassins to murder us.

There was the frantic panting and the grinding of teeth coming from your husband and his friend as they tried so hard to protect us.

Then I was shot behind.

As I collapsed to the floor, the sound of you screaming my name echoed.

To be honest, I felt no pain. There was no pain. I saw the world, our homes and family shattered, scattered bodies were everywhere. I felt my heart turned to ashes, no longer existing. No…. There was no pain… really. Do not cry for me. My inner being has been used up. There was no pain any longer.

Lying on your lap, I watched your tears flow freely off your cheeks and hear the soft pleads for me to hold on. How I wish I could wipe the tear stains off your cheeks.

My dreams…. Haha… dreams. So close yet so far. I am close to you, but I know I can never get you to love me the same way I do to you. I am you, but I have never thought that my life being you will end this way.

But I can do one last thing, one last thing a dying 16 year old girl can know that it can be fulfilled. I told you never to forget me, to have me engraved in your mind.

“Remember me” *soft whisper*

All our works and the last of my life being you will be alive…. If you remember them. Then as the darkness consumed my sight and taken away my breath, I knew that my last wish had been fulfilled.

“Don’t forget me.”*last breath*

"I will never forget you.”

new handphone! whoohoo^^! oh! and some updates^^!

2008-06-01T22:29:00.012+08:00

Okay^^! here's some updates^^! this is what happened on fri

It's the world of POCKY XD!!! dun i looooove pocky^^! and it was in Central, Clarke Quay!

Too bad, i m still under the diet of banning pocky. Sigh-.-....
Anyway, the reason why i was in Clarke Quay is because of the industrial design made by the NUS graduates. here are some pics^^!

Ok^^! after that i went for tkd^^! Had a really good workout^^! and also some muscle cramps
-.-(sigh).

Overall, the day is quite fun and tiring^^!

And then on Sat, I went to Ford factory since there was free admission. It was how the factory was used by the Japanese during the Syonan period when that period was a hellhole to the Singaporeans. My mom told me that the japanese killed 4 of my great grand relatives and that's why my grandparents (mom's side) hate the Japanese.

It's kind of sad really, how they treat the locals =(. it's like they are not human at all but some creatures with no sense of humanity. It's just really sadistic. And i shall not talk about it. -.-

Anyway, I had to send my maid off to Indo. Actually, Supa was never like my maid, she's kind of like my elder sis whom i can share almost anything with. I am glad that she can see her family though. It's been so long, she really deserve it.^^ May she have a safe and sweet holiday and a safe jouney back here again^^.

And then, today, I have a NEW HANDPHONE^^! WHOOHOO^^! It's nokia and it's not too bad^^!

NICE ISN"T IT^^!

I was soooo happy^^! Ok, and also... we had coffee in Plaza Singapura, at Cafe Cartel. I had expresso. I think it's called oreo caramel espresso. It's sooo not my type of coffee... too concentrated>.<. I think i love Affogato the best.

EspreSSo.

And also, since there's no maid, who do the housework? My family!!! that's right^^! and the work that's left to the most is my mom and me-.-. ooooh welll^^! good thing is that i will lose weight. So i watered the platns today, hanged the clothes, help cook dinner and then clean my room and help iron and fold the clothes. Tmw, have to wake up early to sweep the floor. Yes, i do house chores and this is NOT the first time.. so i guess i have not really feel that bad really. Jus different i guess^^!

Anyway, that's abt it^^!

God bless^^!

Ciao^^!

happy birthday jonathan^^!! and (pending) new blog layout

2008-05-31T21:22:00.014+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONATHAN!!!! HOPE U WILL ALWAYS BE THAT SUNRISE THAT SHINES VERY BRIGHTLY(hopefully not too brightly)^^!

He's ABOUT TO "BLOW"!!! (clear away people)!

Gouging moment; sleepless nights makes all of us hungry XD!

Nuuuuooooo.... not my cupcake!!!!!

J's reluctant cool moment!

Last but not least, all of us together^^!

Ok^^! and abt the blog layout-.-... it's yummy and nice^^ but i am not really satisfied-.-, so the blog will be edited quite a lot, so watch out for changes^^!

our own exibition

2008-05-29T23:59:00.006+08:00

hahaha^^! we had fun with the...

fedora and cupcake moment! YAY^^! we finally got a shot of j wearing the hat! that guy won't even wan to try that hat! DX... oh wellll... but at least we got him to try^^! AND... jia min and j look so suave! hahaha^^!

Anyway, it's pretty fun today, we had some exibitions going on involving all 3 years of the DID course.

but i think i will upload them another time^^! it's a little late^^! tmw k^^? wheee... hols starting tmw!!!!!!!!!^^

CLAZZIQUAI + outing today^^

2008-05-28T19:02:00.008+08:00

i luvvvvvv clazziquai^^! i love their songs, their mv are nice. i looooove them^^!
anyway, since it's not well known here and i just got to know them. welll...here's wad i found when i researched about them^^!

Clazziquai (Hangul: 클래지콰이; Classic+Jazz+Groove) is a Korean fusion band that combines several genres including electronic music, acid jazz and house.

official website:
http://www.clazziquai.co.kr/

hmmmm... i want to find out more about it soooo yeah. that's the information for now^^!

anyway, went out with him today to JP. SO FUN^^! it's been so loooong since i went out with him^^! anyway, had milo sweetheart (donut) and takoyaki with him^^! yummy^^! And then i was swooning over cake soft toys!! hahaha^^... soooo being a sweetheart, he brought me...

a soft toy cupcake^^! Thank you so much^^!

anyway, aside from that, i had a really fun time. he wanted me to go to his house but i jus didn't want to. It's jus... u know... if u have been going the same place and doing the same things too often... well... u get pretty scared of the place. But anyway, i feel really really happy that he went out with me today^^! *whee!*

procastinating and happy moments

2008-05-28T01:08:00.015+08:00

hahaha... sorry.. it happened during the project and i was busy... so here's wad happened. it was hot the past few days with bright sun and clear skies. and sooo.. who got the mood to do hmwk right? so here's the stuff we did in school^^!

2 weeks ago on wed

we went to eat macflurry.
had sugar rush!
omg... i had gain so much kg!!! good thing i thinned down again.

and then on thurs two weeks ago, we had picnic at moberly with the big huu-has over sok hui with her first time eating blueberry pockies. SHE'S SO CUTE!^^

and then sice we only shared a plate of fried stuff for lunch, we became hungry again so we had dinner. The trill of sliding down the staircase railing was irresistable, sooooooo we influenced alice and jamie to slide down the stairs.

alice is interesting. try saying it's so DANGEROUS while u slide down. *wheeeee*

and after that.*plays star wars tune*

we had jamie and alice's duel. Dunno who won though. I think i was doing my work.

yup^^! and then fri we had site visit. it is interesting! i shall upload the pics *later*

and thennnnnn last mon, we had....

after submission yesterday *WHOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! punches in the air* we celebrated by going to ice creamery. u know, it's the first time, i was not freaking out before submission, i was playing uno with anglia, Jonathan and Sok Hui^^!

and we played uno again in island creamery. may diff version of it, heart attack, goldfish, uno, grab the ice cream sticks. so fun^^! btw, i fell in love with the nutella ice cream there^^!

we also had our own name card^^! btw we posted our pic there in island creamery!^^ it's so funnn^^!

shhhhhhhhhh.... the beauty of friendship. feeling really blessed! thanks for all the great moment guys. Let's have somemore... looking forward to it!!!!!!

OOOOOOOOOOOH YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! i fell in love with this band, CLAZZIQUAI! (e fantastico, bravo!)

It's a jazzy tune with a unique mix of korean and english. OMG, it's so nice!! absolutely yummy^^! hope u love my background song!! found it from a great singer in youtube, http://www.youtube.com/user/yunfengfu.^^! hope u like it^^!

god bless!
mata! ja!
ciao^^!

ahhhhh (relieved a little)...

2008-05-25T21:52:00.002+08:00

You have no idea how this tiny little bit of relief feels like. but finally a little break. the song is so AWFULLY...... CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *_* melts! hope u like it^^!

gotta go! hope u like it^^!
god bless^^!

workload went whoa!

2008-05-25T04:47:00.003+08:00

damn! >.< i feel like crap now. Sorry, my mood went from determined to foul to i don't know what it is.

Not complaining, i love my work. i really really do LOVE it. It's the first project where i can finally see improvments in myself and everything. I even learn to think clearer while i worked. But damn, my body is exhausted. and also i wonder if i think my work correctly. Got to ask again!

Hmmm... it's the first time i actually had hystericals while i sleep. NOTE: i was NOT aware when i went into hysteria. From what my parents said, my body started to shake after they wake me up and i started screaming at them when they tried to wake me up after my one hour nap.

That's really.... scary!

The funny thing is this. I used to be this lazy dreamy bum who don't do work and dream all day and practically hate studying. Now i am this person who works through the night without an sleep and i still love what i m doing. Crazy la... but I will say it's worth it.

SIGH! Got to go do work again! seeya!

my life, my responsibility

2008-05-12T21:00:00.002+08:00

i guess everyone has their own insecurities. Sometimes i do get selfsh or sometimes arrogant and judgemental. SHouldn't e that way right? I just felt that way today. And everytime i am faced with this insecurities, i feel like running to someone who i take for granted for a very long time.

So there's this quiet promise to myself again and i am not going t mention it. Sometimes, when u find that something's wrong, you have to look into yrself first and not crush yourself. I want to follow this promise and i am not going to do the same things again!>.<

p.s. sorry, this is not for discussion, it's to remind myself... so it is kind of out of topic >.<... sorry!

quiz

2008-05-11T00:08:00.002+08:00

anglia tagged me soooo i shall do this quiz.

1) At what age do you wish to marry?
hmmm... i m not sure in this life time.

2) What do you want the most now?
my HEALTH BACK!!!

3) Who is the person you trust the most?
um... i dunno?

4) Do you think you have enough confidence?
If there's such thing as enough confidence,
people will be strutting on the streets yelling how great they are.

5) If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
To be able to do sth i love as a job^^!

6) Do you believe in seeing the rainbow after the rain?
Rainbow? I remember seeing a rainbow just right outside my window^^!

7) What are you afraid to lose the most right now?
my Brain.

8) Do you believe in eternal love?
ooooh... romeo romeo.. how i luvvvvvv thee!

9) If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?
I don't think i am THAT direct.

10) List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you
Gentle, calm, hidden craziness (whitles innocently)

11) What are the requirements that you wish from the other half?
someone I can go along with?

12) What type of person do you hate the most?
someone with no respect for anybody! DX

13) Do you cherish every friendship of yours?
Yes! They are really precious to me XD!

14) Do you believe in god?
yes! I m a catholic!

15) What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Love. Nobody can do without it.

16) Do you find it a need for you to have a boyfriend?
I have one! but i dun need him to be with me 24 hrs everyday.

17) At this point of time,would you rather be a heartbreaker or heartbroken?
ummmm.... neither?

18) What kind of friend do you hope to be in your friends' eyes?

someone who can feel comfortable with^^!

19) Describe the person who tagged you in 6 words
she is my morning sunshine gal^^!!

20) The place you wanted to go most with your loved ones
Japan, Europe and new Zealand^^!

People I tagged:
Sherie
Madeleine
Wei qian
Ying Zhuang
Guo Shu^^

worth it

2008-05-10T23:01:00.008+08:00

well... There are two words that appear in my mind for this week : rush and sick.

Yesh... as how i complained in my previous entry, i am sick this week and have been having giddy spells. But then again, it's my fault because i will stay up late at night to do my project. Ir's quite fun and also quite... frustrating. I guess i jus wated t learn and try new things!

Anyway, about the rushig part, my friends ran a lot. First time for some who ran across the campus. Then we ran again to help a friend pin up her things before the submission time closed. Also a lot of thinga. I can't rmb...

then on friday, went to raffles place for GEMS. I found out taking pictures actually make u more observant. I really had fun. I bet there are people who find me crazy though. Snapping pics for nothing.

But yeah,after all the perservaering from the stupid sickness and the rushing, i was told by my lecturer that I have great improvement. And you know what makes us really happy? WE GOT THE WEEKEND OFF!!!! WHOOOO!

anyway, here are some pics that's taken..

here's my project for this term

Here's some pics i took. (very few pics of the many pics i took)

yup^^! that's about it! i had fun. esp this week^^! we even did our work on the mrt XD! (i jus dun wan to load that pic ucz i look horrible in it)

god bless^^! mata! ja^^!

sick

2008-05-06T22:33:00.002+08:00

Argh! i have been sick since sunday. But monday was really the worst, all the sickness comes attacking me and i m actually dealing with 3 sicknesses (sore throat, running nose, fever) while i work through my model. Of cuz it's a vain attempt to work but argh! i have to!

Today, went to school with a raw throat and a big huge coughing fit. So basically my day is a coughing day. You have no idea how frustrating it is. But i really want to thank those people who asked me to take care andshow acts of concern12 i really appreciate it!^^

Right now, it's kind of sucky cuz medicine makes me drowsy and i took a nap. Now that i m awake, i amfeeling worse! argh! but anyway, better than yesterday. at least i don't have that same burning, unbreathable sensation like yesterday. Hope i get well soon^^~

Once again, thank you to all those who show me concern, i really appreciate and really happy that you care about me^^. Thanks^^!

hmmmm

2008-05-04T21:10:00.003+08:00

no matter how i try to change, it seems hard. nevertheless, i still have to keep trying.

About this week, it's not too bad! having submission next week gives a tiny eensy bit of breathing space.

tue, had way a lot of injuries from sparring but anyway, sparring rox!! jus that i need to be confident on myself.

Wed, had preparation camp for tkd FO camp. Had a ghost story but i shall not talk about it. We had to prepare for the night walk and it's quite fun except it's a hot summer night and the tunnel my group were stationed in, is dark and not very ventilated @_@.

Thurs, left camp early, had lunch at thai express with my couple of friends and the food is really MMMPH.. GOOD!! I love the sweet tofu rice i ate and i love the dessert. Shall treat my mom there for mother's day (not sure if it's over yet).

Fri, nothing much, came home, work on project and had no mood to do so i dragged it no thanks to my thinking so much.

anyway, things have been confusing lately. I just feel confused about the project, not sure AGAIN!!! i m going to clear my mind by going to see the project brief again. Shadows has been looming in the studio lately. No thanks to my not having to sit among my friends, i have no idea wad's going on. and yes, there are things again which disturbed me which is not very good. My mom told me i m so soft hearted, so naturally certain people get drawn to me. But i don't think i m soft hearted at all... If i am... then i think it's time to draw the line for myself. ARGH! anyway, going back to my work and hopefully i can work through some things!

God bless!
MAta ja!

quizzyZzz

2008-04-19T00:12:00.004+08:00

super tired for this past 5 days. so i shall update abt the week tmw or sth. but for now. here's some fun stuff i took.

Cooool! i am vanilla ice-cream.

COFFEE!!

i love morning, but i can't wake up-.-

wheeeee!@_@

school is starting! nuuoooooo!

2008-04-13T23:09:00.005+08:00

nuoooo! school is starting tmw!!! so i shall post today!

hmmm... holidays didn'r really zoomed past that i was dizzy but i did learnt a lot and probably change a little.(i think)-.-,,, but it's quite ok! at least i m doing sth right? Work and do stuff i always wanted to do. I baked (checked), cooked (checked), sketch (checked) and read a tit bit (so not checked). MUST READ MORE!!!!!!!!Oh yeah! and worked (checked) other than that i think this hols is one of the fruitful ones and I made new friends^^. Thanks god for that^^!

As for today, i cooked by myself and made my first ever soup, carrot soup!! but it's really easy to make really-.-... sth like home economics class BUT it's still a accomplishment. Anyway, not here to brag about my "accomplishment", jus writing down to note that i am on the road to becoming independant and less lazy (or so i think... my stuff is like in a mess).

Then, met Xuan Wen (met old friends... checked!) for dinner and had a long chat. It's been so long since i seen her!!! so happy to see her again^^!

Anyway, i have to follow my resolutions this year and i must have more self discipline>.<. Pray to God to guide me along the way^^!

But i shall not say abt my resolution here until i finally did it, soooo when i do, i shall write. and I hope that my strenghts and my unique side will nv go away^^.

But yeah! at least i did most of the things i wanted to do! must jia you this year and more the next year! jia you jia you!!^^

here's my first ever carrot soup!

stayover + first time cook up

2008-04-11T21:25:00.007+08:00

hmmmmm.... On wed, decided to go to madeleine's house to teach her piano. Then, we went to eat pineapple rice^^!! (IT'S LIKE SUPER YUMMY!!) The place was at Jurong Point. Then madeleine decides to hang out at my house and have a stayover. It's a last min thing^^!

So we set off to my house and then we were chatting about a certain someone (i shall mention who^^). Once we reached my house, we had a chat with my mom and then we went to my room. Madeleine took a look at some of my magazines and she was telling me what kind of house she wanted. I was telling her she needs to be a tai tai, looking at the furniture. It's something like the furniture brand, Da Vinci. That ever expensive grand furniture.^^ but it was quite fun how people's dream homes are like^^!

Most unfortunately on that wednesday night, Madeleine was not feeling so good and she was also feeling a little hungry. So had made hot cup noodles for her and got her to drink a lot of water. And then i was thinking of making omelete the next day. You know what happened? i dreamt abt drinking egg yoke from the bottle.... argh! At least madeleine was better the next morning.

On thurs in the morning, took madeleine out for a walk. Showed her the wonderful views whch lucky me gets to see and then we went to cold storage to get groceries in our pyjamas-.-... BUT it was fun^^!!!=P

Then we had our first cook off!^^ we made rice with a message^^! Cool nia^^!Basically it's fried rice with a big huge omelete covering it. The message is on top^^! Our first cook off was a success. But it's also thanks to my maid, supa for helping us out^^! It was a little funny cuz we invented 2 logos^^! one of them is "big food, big quantity, big mouth!" (trademark of a certain someone) and the other is "You have to eat it whether you like it or not^^"(mine).

But it was quite a success and madeleine really likes it a lot^^! She looks so happy^^! hahaha^^! i shared with him when i came over to his house^^! not too bad^^!hahaha^^! so fun^^! i hope to cook again^^! maybe tmw^^!

here's some of the pics i took off after the cook off.

presenting Rice with a message^^!

stars

2008-04-05T22:56:00.003+08:00

hmmm! i don't know if i m blessed but i think i m^^!

Yesterday went out the entire day, had lunch at pasta mania and dessert at swensens with edmund and Darren. Put two interesting and intelligent people together and you probably get an interesting conversation^^!

Then went out with Wei Qian for the first time to play arcade. Hahaha^^.... it was weird playing EDR cuz both of us were wearing skirt^^!

Then had a great thank you dinner with the tkd gang! It was really fun but once again, the skirt is a hindrance so i can't really play much and i feel weird because i m not in my dressing style!!

But here's something interesting, I saw a shooting star yesterday on my way home. It was fast but it's really... WOW!!! sadly, i had all the sadistic thoughts in my mind and thought negative stuff. But cool! the first time i saw a shooting star^^!

Today, spend 5 HOURS!!!! baking with Sharon on penut butter cookies and fruit tarts!!! But i decide to call the tart crust as cookie tart. Y? somple, the crust has the same exact texture and hardness like a cookie. But it's cool!! my first time making tarts!!!

Somehow, ever since i wanted to look more and observe more, I saw more things. I saw an orion belt (STARS!!) one rectangle with 3 stars in a row inside!) in the velvet sky today!^^It's another WOW! That adds up to the booya of my past two days and i m really super lucky to see them^^!

hahaha! i guess that's abt it for today^^!

See ya and god bless^^!

outing at night

2008-04-01T23:44:00.002+08:00

Hmmm... let's update for yesterday and today k? I went out wih madeleine, my first love =P. Hahaha.... oppsie=P. But yup, went with her out to the hairdressor to get my hair done. We had to wait like about 2-3 hours for my turn. Long right?

After that, went out with madeleine, Justin and Sherman for dinner. Each of the guys have their own cars so basically, madeleine sat with justin and I sat in Sherman's car. But before dinner, we had to wait for Justin in Kallang macdonalds, there went one hour until he comes. By that time, i think it's like 8:30 pm. Should be-.-... After that we went to Beach road to it. Sherman was like "huh?" first before he found the place. We had to follow justin's car.

The restaurant is not too bad^^! hmm... the food is quite good. It's quite old fashioned but that's wad make the mood^^! Anyway. after that i had to go home partly because my parents were way too anxious for their own good. ( If they are this panicky now at this hour, i wonder how panicky they will be if i EVER were to go clubbing). Oh well... all the parent's concern! (impatience impatience)

But yeah, madeleine was not feeling so good, so i was a little concerned for her. Good thing she reached home safely.(if not, Justin... you are going to get it from me BIG TIME). And i m really glad that she had fun before she came home^^!

I had to leave earlier and so by the time i reached home it's like 11pm. I wished mom would stop worrying. *tsk* sigh.. oh well! that's abt it for yesterday.

Today, i went out to west coast park with fiaz and alvin. They are fun to be around with. (duh! my bf is there!) But there are hiccups along the way. Oh well, today may not be my day, but i do enjoy our time tgt. But next time, i think i will go on a solo date, guess i miss that too much!

That's abt it. Sorry, no pics. No cam no pics^^!

mata ja! god bless!

maturing? or changing?

2008-03-30T18:44:00.002+08:00

I notice after i work, there's a feeling that i have changed or matured. I don't know. But i know it is something big. I don't feel myself right now, I don't feel like i m talking like how i m used to be. I think Alvin can also feel the same.

It's darn weird and I don't know why. But i don't like the feeling. It's not the feeling of acheivement, it's the feeling of something's wrong here. My heart feels as though it's crying and missing someone and my brain is thrown somewhere that it feels disoriented now. Or maybe... because of tha martinin i drank yesterday.

I don't what's up with me, but i think i shall go figure it out pretty soon and solve whatever problem there seems to be popping up>.<.

But anyway, I really thank god for everything. He gave me so much. So much more than anyone. Gave me so much love and was with me throughout the entire life. I wonder what the future holds for me. But i know God is behind me all th way.

Drink. Talk. Relax

2008-03-30T00:16:00.003+08:00

WHOOHOO!!!! yesterday was my last day of wirk!!!!! it feels so good! WHOOHOOO!!

Yeah.. but anyway, went out in the evening with Darren. Yay! i bought a bangle and a black dress at far east plaza!^^ Love the dress!! Don't think i will spend that much on clothes since i got what i wanted. The chicken rice at far east plaza is also really good!! plus one more bonus point! it's cheap!^^

Also had to dress up today. I jus feel more comfy to wear smart casual in a pub rather than jus shirt and jeans. Not too bad^^! Also went to see the opera gallery. Learnt a lot of things about art! Thanks to Darren! Look through some art stuff. I f i were to say which is my fav... hmmm.. it will be the painting of the reflections on the water. I want to learn more!!

I drank Matini with him and chat through the night. Listened to a filipino band. The spring rolls are good and the interior is nice^^! love it!^^

ANyway, Here's some of the pics^^!

Drinks: appletino (darren), lycheetini(mine)

That's abt it 4 today^^! cya^^!

The lady

2008-03-27T00:14:00.003+08:00

To the lady,
of fa la so,
thy heart has gathered thyself,
my gracious has become stronger,
your tears, the pleasing ointment nutured the seed,

thy tree had grown,
but it will keep growing,
fear not for it's change

my dear,scare for not,
for thy hope is there,
the future will change,
good or bad,

hold on and see,
because thy hope is there,
for you to see the beauty.

Tuesday with Morris

2008-03-23T20:39:00.002+08:00

If there's one book that makes tears in my eyes, it's tuesday with Morries. At first reading the book left many questions in my mind and I really admire the man named Moorris. He's a compassionate old guy who will joke and laugh even if he was in his death bed.

But there's always these messages repeting and always repeating. Looks, money, materials and jobs, are they eally important? Or are the relationships between people more important. There are always times where people (including myself) take relationships for granted.

Until when it's the time on our death beds where we start to regret. But what Morris said that once u accept death, u start grasping important things in your life.

That book has so many philisopies until my head got buried in the book and i m now slowly digging my way out. But it held so many things so true.

Such a small book left so many questions in me. But while i was running to get my head clear again, I find that instead of wanting to be someone like Morris, I will lead my own life and my own way. While his view of life is really remarkable and i really admire it a lot, but i wan to do things my own way but for the same thing, to look at the most important things of your life.

hee hee^^! i must be a sap but it's a good sap^^!!! oh well... my mind is still cluded by it but it's really meaningful^^!

Got to go and scoop eleanors mind up before she goes HUH? again. cya!

my special story

2008-03-21T13:52:00.001+08:00

In tribute of winning the fat dream contest's consolation prize. I m once again posting my story in this blog^^!

THAT BOY NAMED JACK

Good day to you all. I am rocky 911. Do not mind my poor appearance of an old ragged soft toy or my strange name. Perhaps I am still cute in your eyes like what a teddy bear is meant to be. But today, I am not going to talk about myself but instead, of this young lad whom I found rather fascinating. He got me when he was a mere four or five years old and I became his best buddy. That young boy was named Jack.

You see, Jack was not really good looking and neither was he really thin. He was rather plump really and had such a queer attitude. No doubt he got his nickname, “The Fat Weirdo”. He had strange little speeches like wanting to dream fat. Usually people would say they would want to dream big. However, in his case, he wanted to dream fat. I was thinking that he should be saying that he had a fat dream. Many people told him that. His parents, his teachers and his taunting classmates corrected him many times. Why would he shake his head so vigorously and say “NO!”?

Then later, I would hear him muttering, “They don’t understand.” Maybe it was because he loved to eat. I did not really understand what he meant by dreaming fat until he explained them to me. However, he told me to keep it a secret which I had kept until now. So what was his fat dream? He wanted to become someone people could believe in, like Oprah Winfrey. It could be any job, a chef, an actor, anything. So why did he say “I want to dream fat” and not “big”? We should see this in the later part of my telling.

I saw Jack grow up. Not really alone, he had a few precious friends who understood him. I saw him slowly eating the pain of being called an underdog and a useless brat. I saw him eating away rather deliciously over the good times he had. I saw Jack slowly cooking a plot and ate that plot to see if it really tasted good. Many times he would wince painfully and swallow rather reluctantly or he would rub his stomach and lick his lips. I saw him tried new recipes of many different styles like gardening or sewing. Basically, anything he could get his hands on. Sometimes I had seen him trim down sadly and sometimes I had seen him getting fatter, full of pride. But after all those times of eating, I had seen him go higher and higher up the ladder of success, refusing to give up in every step he made. When at last he found what he wanted to do, I saw him swell not with pride but the happiness of all those times. Jack became a chef who cooked wondrous meals for the rich and gave nutritious food for the poor. Maybe he could not make a large scale of people believe in him immediately, but slowly and surely, he would with every bite that he took.

I remember how he explained to me about dreaming fat. You see, dreaming big could have some errors in it. A dream may seem to be big on the outside but has nothing inside. Having a fat dream did not really mean you will accomplish it. It was just like having a fat dream. However, to dream fat, there is substance in it. Everything that you had gone through, everything that you took in is what makes you today. When Jack said that he wanted to dream fat, it was because he wanted the dream to come true. Strange isn’t it? That such a small child that he was had thought about it that way.

There was a girlfriend that Jack brought over one day. She brought a little friend along. That friend was a cute little soft toy bunny called Chaddy. She was really a nice sweet gentle creature. Chaddy asked me once,” Jack is a really nice guy, but don’t you think he is a little fat?”

And I replied to the very confused bunny,” Nah… His dream is fatter.”

I hope you like it^^!

hmmmm!

2008-03-16T22:06:00.002+08:00

Really bored now so listened to some music. If you ask me what moment i have been thinking of, it will be just listening to a song, sit by the window,drinking milo or hot chocolate. Today is not bad. Went to have lunch with my relatives. How strange. Why is it everytime when i want to connect myself to my cousins they are not there?

Hahaha... but oh well! hahahaha! next time, I will try even harder to connect with them and overcome my shyness^^!

Btw, i just cut my hair. It looks cute and quite fresh! Not too bad! I liiiike! I don't know why the sudden change of mindset, maybe it's the feeling of wanting to try something new but I feel like highlighting my hair. But the thing is I spent a lot of effort making my hair lustous black, wouldn't it be a waste to just highlight them? Argh! Wishy-washy! I will probably wash away the decision again when the time comes!

yeah! But i feel bored now! gotta look for sth fun before work starts tmw-.-...

cys!

whoohoo!

2008-03-10T23:48:00.002+08:00

Do yu know wad's the most amazing thing for tonight?

I won a consolation priza for a writing competition. But ok la. Actually i enjoy writing it more than wanting a prize for it. I really like the stories i created. But yes, thanks god sooo much! i m happy!!! but i guess i learn that maybe things shouldn't be taken so seriously and we ought to have fun in the things we want to do.

It's always the process that count because it gives so much than a prize can give you. So from now on, i will try! i will enjoy the things i do and do my best! Eleanor jia you! I shall enjoy the process and learn and learn and learn!

<3

2008-03-09T21:23:00.002+08:00

I finally went out with Chong Yun, Jack and Alvin today! Finally!!! i have been waiting for this day like forever. We had a great time today! he's not moody or sian or wadsoever. I really hope we can do this often. I miss them all so much. Especially going out with Chong Yun.

You know the sad thing is as time pass and as we walk different paths, we form our own lives. We have new friends and sometimes we do not think much about the old ones. That's including me. But to be honest, all of us need friends no matter what. We just want someone out there to accept us. And i really appreciate all the friends i have out there. I may have my own life but I must remember for those who are closest to me and those who are willing to go through thick and thin with me.

Anyway, we played pool and bowling today. I think my friends have noticed it, somehow I am better today. Maybe somehow i learn not to be so worked up and excited and just play like what play should be. I seem totally relaxed today. I wasn't nervous or anything but i guess i was just being myself. Sorry i seem so tired!! My fault! Shouldn't have slept late yesterday. But also I prefer to be calm today la. Being hyper is good but i just want to be myself today. really!

But today is quite a fun day and i m really happy^^!

uneventful last min day

2008-03-08T20:50:00.002+08:00

Today had my computer fixed FINALLY! XD Takes me sooooo long to fix this com until it feels so weird to even sit in front of the com. The untoched mouse also became really unfamiliar too. grrr grrrr... remind me to get a better one next time.

Anyway, aside from that, went out for dinner with a MI friend ,George today. He changed a lot. I mean ic annot recognise him liao! but overall it was quite ok. He had to go off pretty soon though. But ok la, he's nice enough to treat me.^^

A lot of things is last min!>.< but it's quite ok i guess. At least i dun go panick and freaky.

That's abt it^^!

emotion test

2008-03-04T22:42:00.002+08:00

Copy, Paste, Don’t look at the bottom
before you do the thing or it won’t
work!
This is scary but pretty accurate.

1. Which colour is better red, black,
green, blue, or yellow?

green!^^ I like trees!

2. What’s your first initial?

E (duh!)

3. What month is your birthday?

Feb

4. Which colour do you like more, black
or white?

Neither, i m not emo nor m i blank.

5. Name one of your friends..

which one? there's so many! let's just pick one. Alvin

6. Your favorite number?

22

7. Do you like flying or driving more?

R u kidding?? of cuz flying!!

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean
more?

Lake! ocean is not too bad though!

9. Think of a wish, but don’t write it
- .........

–Answers–

1. If you chose:
Red: You are alert and your life is
full of love.

Black: You are conservative and
aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you
are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love
kisses and affection from the ones you
love and give good advice to those who
are down.

Yellow - you are a very happy person..

2. If you’re initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and
friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy your life to the
maximum & your love life is soon to
blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your
future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well
for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally
unexpected.

April-June: You will have a strong
love relationship that will last
forever.

July-Sept: You will have a great year
and will experience a major life-
changing experience for the good.*

Oct-Dec: Your love life will be great,
and eventually you will find your soul
mate.

4. If you chose:
Black: Your life will take you on a
different direction, it will seem hard
at times but will be the best thing
for you, and you will be glad for the
change.

White: You will have a friend who
completely confides in you and would
do anything for you, but you may not
realize it.

5. This person is most important to you

6. If it is:
1-50 you are a very lovable person and
you have a great life*
more then 50 is nothing

7. If you chose:
Flying - You like adventure.

Driving - You are a laid back person.

8. If you chose:
Lake - You are loyal to your friends,
your lover, and yourself. You are very
reserved and not emotional.

Ocean - You are spontaneous and like
to please people sometimes.

9. This wish will come true only if
you repost this with the title:

Emotion Test. don't cheat

I was bored so i tried this quiz. it's not that accurate but it was ok^^!!

TKD competition 2^^

2008-03-03T22:09:00.002+08:00

i was too tired to post yesterday so i decided to write everything down today.

Yesterday, the matches were really exciting and somehow it spur me on to go and fight too.The killing aura was really uite strong in myself. I really felt it and when i turn to look at my friend, he jerked!!!! HAhahaha.... pretty cool! But while everybody did their best, there's alwways the need for improvement. I am not saying just them, but myself too!
Overall, we had 2 bronze, 2 gold and 2 silver.

Then later after that, everyone sat down and taled about our feelings. It's nothing mushy or whatsoever. It's like just saying out our thoughts and what we should do. After hearing everyone talk and my senior's comments, I made a few promises to myself. And I feel it's a not bad idea to actually listen to a straight forward comment.

The thing is I am not going to say anything here except maybe, JA YOU. As for the promises, no point saying it. When I really make them, i will indicate them here. i wan to be the best as i can as a person!! WO MEN DOU JIA YOU!!!! WE WILL SEE!!!!

TKD competition 1^^

2008-03-02T00:33:00.003+08:00

Today was the aprring competition!!! yesterday was the pattern competition!!! My team was really mast min but i m really glad we sychonised with each other still and i am really happy for my team!! But i am happier when the other sun jian team made it to 2nd round. BUT YOU KNOW WAD??? WE didn't get any medal. U KNOW WHY? because they look at the freaking stances and not teamwork!! you know, getting perfect stances is hard but it's freaking harder to coodinate with each other AND OUR TEAMS ARE EVEN FREAKING BETTER THAN THE OTHER TEAMS!!! dun care them man, they did their best and we are really pround of them.

TODAY, we had 3 medals and I WAN TO CONGRATULATE DEVESTER, KELI, Eileen and watsisname (sorry!!! I forgot). They have won bronze, silvers and one of them got gold. AND ALSO GOOD JOB TO SUN JUN and MIN YI!!! You have done your best and i have seen how much hard work you put in! JIA YOU!! next year i will try my hand in sparring and if can, i will get a medal^^

Tonight, wad's with listening to rock music and thinking about the competition. I got a very excited and determined feeling. Something that I rarely feel and probably lick my lips in a bizarre way^^. I shall call this feeling, "fighter's lust". The feeling of wanting to "sa" and attack. sooooo not mself, but that's what i am feeling now. I really want to win for sp^^ and myself.

I AM GOING TO WORK HARD FOR TKD! I WANT TO!!! AND FOR MY COURSE IN DID!!!! i feel like kicking ass now -.-.

The song i was listening to! TO TURN OFF SONG,SCOLL ALL THE WAY DOWN AND OFF THE MUSIC!!

2008-02-27T23:45:00.002+08:00

CRITICAL REASONING SKILLS B

PSYCHOLOGY AND COUNSELLING B+

Design Studio C

Interior Technology C

Theory of Design C

Computer Aided Desihn & presenttion D+

Here are my results! I PASSED^^! BUT DUN CARE! MUST JIA YOU! JIA YOU ELEANOR JIA YOU! COMPETITION IN 2 DAYS TIME!^^

Birthday XD

2008-02-24T15:01:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday to me^^! hahahaha^^... ok! It's like a normal day becasue i didn't go out or anything but i find it really special and really... weird?

Why weird? here are the reasons:
1. I look good (usually my face's tradition is to break out and my stomach is not very obedient either>.<)

2. It's the hols for me

3. I am not stressing and go ARRRGH over homework or tests

4. I just look good^^

But other than that, I am really really happy. I know I m going to second year in my course (MUST IMPROVE XD) and I really thank God for all the gifts he had given me all the years and made me what I am today^^! Thank God so much!!^^ I am Super super happy when people remembered and greeted me happy birthday! I am really really happy^^. You can say that my birthday is quite easily forgotten over the years. Not saying that i m something special but i guess some part in me just want people to know. Hahaha... Am I strange or what.

But the truth is I am happy that everyone said happy birthday to me and i want to thank you truly from my heart.

My family celebrated with me yesterday at the restaurant Valentino, one of the best Italian restaurant in this country in my opinion. The food is MMMM... delizioso *kiss fingers*... Love the deserts*_*... Hahahaha... but yeah! I am really thankful to everyone who wished me and celebrated with me^^!

THANK YOU EVERYONE AND I WISH YOU TO HAVE A GOOD YEAR AHEAD!

Thank u!

2008-02-20T00:36:00.002+08:00

To the people who are concern over me in tkd, sorry i was a littlr unappreciative. I was trying quite hard that i forgot to have fun and I was a little frustrated.

Anyway, abt my first job, i may not be so good yet! But that doesn;t mean i cannot improve. ELEANOR JIA YOU JIA YOU! It was my first time to do a flyer (graphic design) but while having fun, hope can improve a lot more! Must jia you!
And do good!

Anyway, i was feeling a little down today, because of some problems. But after seeing so many people take care of me in tkd, I wan to say a big THANK YOU! I m really blessed and happy to be side by side by you people.

I also thank God for giving such blessings. I learn today that I must have confidence in God and the things i do. A special friend, Sun jun, told me that there r times to relax and be serious and be confident abt myself.

I know i kind of sound strange here like a little kid, but i guess i m jus happy with the things i have now and i really really appreciate them^^.

i loooove yesterday

2008-02-18T23:01:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, went out with my best friends after a very looong time. Believe me, it's really long since the three musketeers went out together and have a great time! Went shopping with the cutie pie, Madeleine and the hot sexy babe, Sherie. Hahaha... I really miss hanging out with them. Madeleine bought really cute clothes and stayed overnight. Pity sherie has to go home because she had work today. But i really had fun last night chatting with madeleine.^^

Btw,its the very first time we took neoprint together. Here it is:

what do you think of this story?

2008-02-14T22:27:00.002+08:00

There was once a girl who lived a sheltered life,
everyday was something new and happy,
and then a wizard saw her pure soul
and he came up to her with an evil intention
the girl knows he's bad, it's obvious

Thw wizard told her," I give you the ability to speak to the deaf,
but once you have the ability,
you will die after one month.

The girl thought about it...
and said yes

From then on, she could speak and sing to the deaf
until when the day comes
when she laid on the bed with her family around her
"Are you sure of this?" They asked.
"It's my life anyway," she said with a smile

As she passed on,
the wizard collected her pure soul,
to use for his spell to spread sickness,
but what he didn't know was the soul could think for itself
and the spell didn't work

Through his frustrated tears
he saw a girl laughing and smiling

The thing here is if the girl refused,
the wizard will not be able to cast the spell
and she still have her precious life.

What do you think?

first time clubbing

2008-02-09T12:47:00.000+08:00

I have no idea about clubbing until now. Hahaha... i didn't know it was this fun. Let's see, last night i went clubbing at zouk and MOS. The drinks were pretty good. I had shots like apple stewdal and sex on the beach. There was cherry brandy too. I got high enough but not high enough to go tipsy and shout I love the world.

Too be honest, I have no idea how to talk to my cousins. Maybe i am just too shy to open up to them or I just don't cliche. But other than that, my cousins were quite protective over me and I really appreciate that. Hmmm.... I do find it embarassing though. I was always the one to be taken care of. But at least we are all family. I may not fit in or may not be able to open up. But i am willing to try. I will definitely open up next time and have more confidence ove myself. I think life will be better this way.

Well.Overall it's still quite fun. I actually danced from 12 - 3:45am from house to mambo to R&B. pretty cool huh? That's abt it. I had some fun.^^

whoohoo!

2008-02-05T22:42:00.000+08:00

Thanks god so much. You know, getting promoted to year 2 in Poly is not a big issue to many people but to me, it's like wow. I feel so So relieve and so happy. I can't describe how relieve or happy i was. After 1 year in failing in MI and 1 year of really totally slogging for my assignments, i went to year 2. It's a small acheivement yes... but to me, it's really big. i could even feel my tears.

I feel really thankful for my family supporting me especially the decision of transferring to poly and helping me with my work during my assignments. If i am demoralized, they always say encouraging things to me.

But i am not going to stop there. I am going to improve myself, I want to improve myself. I want to turn that dream i have into reality. So the first step will be my time management.

But other than that, I just want to say that I am really really happy about this. and really glad^^. it's feels so wonderful when my family said congrats to me.

hols

2008-01-30T23:09:00.000+08:00

Ok... this is ther first hols that i really have nothing to do and i really really am not used to it. But then, again, i will be speaking the total opposite when i start working.

To be honest, all i want now is to know if i can make it to 2nd year. that's all i want.

But that aside, i also have a fun time. Last Sat, went to plaza sing and esplanade with Alice, Anglia and Sharon. It's pretty cool. I had the pleasure of shouting over the rooftop of esplanade. Somehow i got the impression that the guy near me thinks i am crazy. He gave me that "look" >.<. Hahaha... but it's quite fun actually. =P

Then i went swimming with my best firned, madeleine yesterday. I have thinned down a bit. That's pretty good. It was my first time going to jurong east pool. I looove the wave pool! it's so fun. Of cuz i came back with sun kissed cheeks and nose, but it's so very fun. But something not so good happened last night. I wish i can hug her.

Life does have lemons i guess, but i shouldn't forget the yummy cherries and mangoes... hahaha... but of cuz, words are easier said than done.

i dunno wad to say... it's over?

2008-01-19T22:17:00.001+08:00

hmmm... It's over? The project is done and submitted and marks have been taken down. But to be honest, i know i ought to feel relaxed and happy. But i have these groundless fear of not being able to pass. So i am writing this down for some relief. But pls do not bring this topic up. It's not meant for people to give me encouragement and assurances which seems to very assured.-.-... sorry! it's just that i trat this blog as a way to broadcast the feelings of me. Of course there will be certain secrets but there will be these things in general.

Anyway, there's a movie that tug my heart. 881... I thought i won;t like it but it left me having affections for this movie and how people live. Dremas to be fulfilled, people to cherish, the importance of money, preserving the culture and so many things. But i really really found it touching and nice to watch. It's not like the other films, depressing and having a uncertain end that makes me go huh? The show is like having precious and happy moments and cherishing those faithful moments. There's also a certain humor in them and how people smile and be strong when they come to trouble.

I hope that I will be able to be trong and alays stand when i fall. Never give up and have a smile that brightens the day. hmmm... somehow the show took sentimental thoughts out of me. Hahahaha...

Yeah, but anyway, the show is nice.

GO DOWN IF YOU WANT TO OFF THE MUSIC!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!

2008-01-01T01:26:00.000+08:00

Happy new year everybody and god bless! I hope that all your wishes come true and that you will be healthy and happy.

To be honest, quite a lot of things happened in 2007. First, it's my transfer from MI to SP.

Honestly, i was near depression duing that period of time before i decide to go to SP. I guess it's therealization of who I am and my flaws. But i dd somehow have a "new life" when i came to SP. I didn't regret withdrawing from MI, not at all.

Quitting the school is quite risky especially when i do not have a place in poly to go. But, thanks God that I really did got in. Anyway, it's not because i regretted joining MI, NEVER. I just don't fit in there. I am thankful for being in there. It's like a wake up call.

I guess i did change a bit. But i think it's not enough. I mean I don't want to change my entire self, i just want to be able to THINK for myself. instead of depending on the others.

It's not bad or anything, but i believe it's good to be independent. Because the one who can truly affect the future is myself. BUT! haha... it's easier said than done. But still, i really aprreciate my friends who are always there for me, giving me advice and tolerating my nonsense. I really appreciate it alot!^^

Anyway, I had some relationship problems this year. It's not surprising but it does hurts. It's somehow predicted by my feeling i guess. But after talking it out and compromising and finding ways to solve it, it's much better.

Then my grandmas had passed on. Not one but two, on both sides. Honestlt, i was scared when i first experience mama's (my dad's side) funeral. Guess i had not been to a funeral for a very long time. The second time, it's not too bad. But it's still sad. Reall sad. Both of them cared for me, both of them really loved me. My aunt told me about m grandma on dad's side. She always talked about me. Always smiled when i visit her. Haha... I can still remember how she would sit by my side while i draw. then there por por (my mom's side. she always cared for me when my parents are not home. Pet me to sleep when i got out of bed at night when i am yound. I guess i am closer to her because i get to see her often. I really cried a lot when she died. But I know boh of them are happy and resting.^^

Also, there's my first year in Interior Design. Hundreds of sleepless nights and late nights, working working working. There's frustration, I was tired and grumpy. But a brand new experience. I felt that i can appreciate art. I really want to be like i was in the beginning, eaer to learn, full of passion. So much fun. But at the 2nd semester, i wasa zombie for 2-4 months i think. But to be honest, I think i didn't feel depressed throughout the thing. I can still smile, i can still laugh, i don't have to cheer myself up every night. Also, i was too tired and busy to be depressed a thing. Took me two weeks away from the project to become myself again.

I learnt about psychology too! It's really fun! But to be honest, the information in the book is so elementary. Wish there's more. But yeah, i guess i did change a little. But it's progress!^^ Let it continue.

My resolution is to manage my time,lose weight and believe in myself. I think.

Anyway, Happy new year to you people out there. God bless and may your wishes come true!

wow music

2007-12-29T22:51:00.001+08:00

i don't know but i never hear such a orchestra song that gives me the impression of the music itself is dancing before. The asian way of dancing, the graceful dancing. The lively dancing with feet tiptoeing at any time, the hands in the air, the smile of dancers dancing.

WOW....

SWITCH OFF THE MUSIC BELOW LEFT IF YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS MUSIC!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2007-12-26T19:42:00.000+08:00

This past 2 days, i have been eating and eating and eating. I think i better get off my lazy bum and qork out. Doing hmwk is also a must do. So the next few days, i am DOING my HMWK!

Had fun though. I can still remember my Godma's chocolate fondue fountain. Awfully tempting and sinful. I love the food on the christmas table. But i guess wad i really like most is the company. Met 4 adorable kids. Always playful but they are good kids (i think). Yup1 I spend last week training for my tkd and also i think i need to improve my physical condition. So i think it's time to attain some dicipline here.

Anyway, i was reading a person's blog. Call me naive, i don't care. But while it's ok to open your eyes and see a person's character. I don't quite agree if u see them as bimbos. jerks and sadistic maniacs. I mean, I have to admit, i used to think that i am better and seem to look down on others. Also tend not to trust anybody and found no way to laugh at their jokes. But it's natural i think. Because i had been hurt by people before. Thinking that way does help give you support. The hardest thing is to open yourself up and smile and trust people after the hurt had been done.

But it's been a year. Ever since this year after i took the first step, i now see people as my equals and not judge anybody. It took a while to take away that habit, but it worked. I don't know, but it seems to me that maybe life would be better if we lighten up a little. I don't see any wrong in it. It's ok to laugh at jokes at yourself. but remember to uphold that self-respect and not let people ill treat you. There may be flaws and weaknesses but don't forget that you are the same. After all we are are human beings. Even if we on't see the flaws in a person, he or she may have it hidden or we just missed it.

Anyway, at least that's what i think. I don't think the world is perfect and there may be a time that i myself will get hurt again. But if we are to shut our eyes and ears and our hearts, i don't think there will be happiness, or at least that's for me. It's not easy i know, but i think it's really worth to give it a try.

sudden poem^^

2007-12-16T12:15:00.000+08:00

I was watching this show, Hwang Jin Yi. A touching show but the dances are really... wow! I admire the lady, standing up for herself, being strong minded, gifted in every ways. She's also really beautiful. The only reason why people look down on her is that she is a courtesan which i find really sad. Probably the first show to make me cry so badly until my eyes got infected >.<. Check this video out! GO DOWN BELOW AND STOP THE SONG IF U WANT TO SEE THIS VIDEO.

Anyway, the show left me thinking about it and I suddenly got an inspiration for a poem.

If beauty….

If beauty meant eternal sorrow,
My heart will bleed for its lovely tune,
Lest it holds that much hope,
Perhaps fragrance will change chances,
Hold strong the flower of Far la so,
Make sure it tramples not its soul,

Idealism makes the lark cheer,
Lest it didn’t the lark swallow,
Hold strong my wish to be,
I give thee hope if to make such beauty.

heh...

2007-12-10T22:06:00.000+08:00

Do you know, it's really funny as if my mind is quite unpredictable, my emotions are really unexpected. I am actually feeling that i am blessed by god now. i wonder why. God has been so good to me. He gave me family. He gave me friends, he gave me passion, he did not give me a perfect life but he gave me a some things in life which makes me smile and laugh and think wow.

it's so strange this feeling. Like something i never feel in a long time. It's so very strange. strange...

Anyway, the weekend was good. I enjoy the outing with anglia and alice. Hahaha... they are both so funny. We visited the design exhibition about the works of an architect, alva alto. Then we gourge ourselves at Ala-meen. the malay and indian restaurant. It's really quite a different experience! the atmosphere is different and the food is quite good! anyway, we were really quite full. I was the one whose the least full. hahaha...

yeah, so i took a break. anyway, here are some photos!

alva alto exibition

and random pics from us!

that's abt it! god bless!

2 more weeks to chirstmas holidays

2007-12-01T03:26:00.000+08:00

2 more weeks of craziness to chirstmas holidays. Looking forward to it really. I need a break, to laugh smile and hold my dear ones close especially one particular guy. I miss him.^^ Anyway, i hope you like the new song1 it's nice and jazzy and not too bombastic for this blog. Uber cool!

Ahhhhh.... I need to focus on my design project(sick of this word but can't find other words)!

HURRY CHIRSTMAS HURRY!

>:

2007-11-28T19:52:00.000+08:00

I am just writing my frustration down and so pls don't bring this up. i dun need to talk about it or more like don't want to and i DUN wan any sympathy.

I haven't seen an F for a very long tme until recently. nowi got an F in IT. like ****. Y am i taking this so seriously because I want to move on, not to be retained or kicked out. when I saw this result, memories of last year came back to me. The agony of always failing, the agony of fear over my results, the disappointment of my parents. I really feel very ****** up.

I cannot continue like this. I must buck up and get rid of all this. I don't want to ruin my life, depend on my parents throughout my life. One *********** year is enough. I swore last year i will never burden my family. I have to improve. No matter what it takes.

a very so-called break

2007-11-19T22:07:00.000+08:00

I won't say that this is not a break and I won't say that this is the time to relax. As long as my course is still up and running everyday, i find it hard to really become a couch potato or to really relax like it's a holiday. In a way, it is good of course. But i am feeling much better... way much better. I think.

Last Sat, i went out with Faz to watch a movie, Bewolf. It is not really bad. I just don't like the scary part of a deformed human, and man being eaten. I also hate the nude bodies in the movies. Not that I am rigid about moral values, it is just that the full blown sight irks me >.<.

Ever since friday (crazy day) night, I have been lazing until now. But i stopped this laziness few mins ago and I am going to touch my work again.

Anyway, nothing much really happened but here r some photos that Faz and I took.

P.S sorry for the blur pics

frustration boiling

2007-11-12T22:48:00.000+08:00

I dunno what I should feel. Should i feel indifferent or angry or frustrated? I bet it''s frustration. frustration over ot knowing what to do, frustration of not doing things right, frustration on how things are not going my way. I cannot stand it. Why does it have to happen to me?!?

I didn't sleep for 44 hours, worked like crap on one model and it still doesn't show my concept. Argh! grrrrrr.....

If i say i hate it, it will only be demoralising. But what to do? How brain how?!? jus work for once for pete's sake.

Argh! I pray and hope my crit is not on friday, i have a very bad feeling that it would be.

>.<

happy deepavali!

2007-11-08T08:53:00.001+08:00

HAPPY DEEPAVALI to the people out there! Hope u have fun!
I am still feeling the impact of sleeping one full night. I didn't sleep for the past 3 days. Actually I intended to sleep for 1 hour yesterday before going back to my work. Turns out that I slept for 5 hours, from 8pm to 1 am. Then before i get to touch my laptop, my mom forced me to sleep. Said something about mumbling in your sleep is not very good.

As usual, I stll didn't get very good comments in my design so i have to rethink my ideas. Thought of new ideas, hopefully more will come out. Feeling abit sleepy but hey, at least i had some sleep... hahaha....

Sheesh.... if there's one thing i will never do, it will be telling my mom to read this blog. It's bad enough to see her sometimes listening to my conversation on the phone. letting her see my personal thoughts will be downright creepy.

Anyway, I will be going out to see one of the lecturer's office with my friends. quite cool!

here's some of the not very good pics of my model:

exterior:

interior:

AHHHH....

2007-11-02T16:01:00.000+08:00

AHHHH...how to do my model? My sprained hand is aching and i have to lean on it,O.O

wad happened the past few days

2007-10-31T00:03:00.000+08:00

Well, on sat night, we had dinner with my uncle who came back from NZ and will be going back there again somewhere in next week or this week. The chinese dinner was really good especially the appetizers, toufu and dessert. Hahaha... I wish i brought my camera along.

Then we went to a bar and played pool in the clubhouse called legion. It was really cool. I had a drink called Sex On The Beach. It was really yummy. Quite fruity and sweet. And i learned how to play pool properly. Hahaha... FUN....

Other than that, life is pretty normal We have e-learning week this week. That means I can catch up with my thoughts and what I want to do. Hahaha... Hope i can get things done in advance.

Today had TKD (aka tekuando), I found how much my stamina lack and somehow i overexerted myself and couldn't breathe. I feel really embarassed and guilty. But I really thanks the people who show concern to me. Thanks a lot. Other than that, I don;t want to talk about it.

So yeah, Better catch up with my hmwk and catch up with God as well. It's time to come back to him and thank him for all these blessings.

That's about it! God bless!

e-learning week

2007-10-27T15:14:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was really a relief. After a week full of work and everything, somehow having no sleep is not really an option... hahaha... But overall it's quite fun. Yesterday, i thought the lecturer will frown on my work, so horrible looking, but somehow she didn't. hahaha... Then we saw her cry when she tried to explain to us what it is to truly design. Kind of shows that she is quite concern for us and she is really true to design.

Psychology lesson was really fun. With all the skits and presentation. Most of the skits are quite funny. If I weren't hapf dead, I could have laughed more. Guess what, I was asked to act like a flirt yesterday. I think it's quite wierd though..hahaha... but it is funny.

Then the same personal matter pops up again and I felt my heart trown somewhere far off that I can barely reached it. I only knew that I was panioking inside and I am trying to think about it. There are friends who were there for me yesterday. Thanks you all.

While I still am very very worried over that matter, I will still say that overall, yesterday was ok. There's good times and bad times. Guess, I just have to learn how to take this matter.

hmmm

2007-10-20T23:01:00.001+08:00

Don't ask me why.... I just find this video is rather inspirational.. it's a bit angsty... But yeah, it's good to stand again and run again.

PRESS ESC IF YOU WANT TO OFF SONG!

resilience

2007-10-19T23:39:00.000+08:00

hahaha... I got inspired by a piano song. So i wrote this poem randomly. There's quote that says, "I will try again tomorow". Even if i were to fail anf fail, I have to keep trying. Because I want to make something out of myself. To be someone who have somethingi unique in the world that the world don't have.

Giving great thought,
To sense of resilience,
Like a great spell cast against me,
I wonder what I will be,
To be good in the things I want to do?
Or just watch it collapse against my clumsy fingers?
If insecurities are there to suffocate,
I pray that I am not the victim.
But everything needs attempt yes?
If there were never mistakes,
Never never could I learn.