Frustration

I can't help but feel frustrated. The person in charge told me that only when the school accept me then I can get a scholarship but if that's the case, that means I will have to take A levels or do 2 years of working. Both I do not wish to waste my efforts on and both I do not agree.

There must be some f***ing way to get through this. I just need to find it. And I will keep finding what I need to do. Sighhh....

Anyway, today was fun. I learnt a lot of things like how to support a person when he is standing up and about the observations of the people. Which makes me more thrilled to do this myself. I want it badly. But like they say, what do I need to sacrifice for it? and the importance of the sacrifice.

Sigh... so from tommorow onwards, I am going to find out what I need to do and keep looking for ways.

There must be a way!!!

2nd day of internship

I had fun for the past 2 days. I actually worked in a cardio section where I get to learn the methods and ways to get people to mobilize themselves in bed and how to make them feel better.

I also had to see gross stuff like phlegm and poop. >.<

But anyway, I find that I am not as emotional as last time where I will weep each time I see a patient. Right now, it is to do what I can and what procedure that I have to undertake.

I also found the many challenges into entering into physiotherapy. I have to lern chemistry and maths and science T.T. And also, the difficulty into entering physiotherapy in Nanyang Polytechnic. >.<

But never mind, I need to find ways NOW!! so that will be my clutter for next week. RAHHH!! will be pushing hard to find!

Tmw I will be in cardio (chest) section again and thurs and fri will be in auto (bones) section. =D Cannot wait! FUN!

=DD

God bless!

A reminder

Heya! welcome to the revived blog! hahaha! i haven't update for so long.

Ok! so long story short. I actually attended a workshop called "The Courage To Create" and after that I started having classes about making courage.

And so this entry is to remind myself the reason why I started wanting to learn physiotherapy.

It started 2 days before the TCC workshop started, I had Nafa test which is quite fun becuase it is not so strict. We had our shuttle run and suddenly one girl fell down. Turned out that she had a permanent injury from before. So i went to help her.

While helping her to sit down and checking her knee, i realized her knee was sprained so I could not massage it. But then after a while, her ankle was starting to ache and I helped her massage her ankle.

And somehow within me, I found a deep unexplainable joy. And it comes from doing massage. I had always wanted to relieved people from stress and when they are, I felt happy. The thing is I am not a psychology person, so I do not really want to take that career up. It's too emotional and draining for me.

But i thought, if one day i can help a person stand up on her own 2 feet, wouldn't it be great?

On the first day of my making courage class, It drawn on me that I did not take massage as a career because it is just too hard for me to take or I thought there is no road. But there is and I found one.

Physiotherapy is a way that I want to take because that way not only do I learn massage, I help to give the other people hope that they can do things beyond their physical limitations and because I want to stretch towards that direction.

Physiotherapy is a vehicle that I can take and use but I do not have to be stuck with it forever. It is a tool. Mainly, I want to massage. And so I will.

There are many times I keep asking myself why do I want to take this step. This is the reason why. And I am going to stand fast against it. Because it is what I want to do.

Btw, I got myself my very first part time job-- a piano teacher! =D

Step by step!

God bless!

sighhhh

If grammar and vocabulary allow me to use the language with free flowing heart,
i will let loose the clamour that kept stuck in my throat, heart and mind,
and fill this very background with the blackness of my dark expressions.

expressing suppressed emotions

yeah yeah! long time no see! I know! I just thought that maybe ITP shouldn't be written down since it's gonna be stressful and it took away my holidays.

hmmm.... ok guys, sorry if i sound emo but it really took out a lot on me. It really really was an emotional roller coaster for me. Sometimes I have my run down days and sometimes I have terrific days. Nonetheless, everytime i go home, my heart seems to be not satisfied somewhat and it felt suppressed.

I know that people will feel frustrated or horrible after a day of work (which sometimes have horrible results). This will probably be the first time it ever come across such a situation that everytime i am alone, swear words will come out and my teeth will start grinding. And i will never allow myself to vent my feelings out to anyone if it' gonna hurt them. but it happens once anyway which is bad enough.

I am tired, really really tired.

I still learn a lot though. Who says that waking up is gonna be pleasant? Everytime when one wakes up, he or she will suddenly become aware of another path. The thing is this. when do you go back down the sane path and when do you choose another path to go? Does that means running away? Or does that means trying out another way?

Will I ever face myself with the kind of person I am now and what should i do? There is no more ise askng "when?". Because once the person ever ask when, she will wait the moment to come. It just doesn't work anymore to wait for the right moment. The moment is when she choose to change, choose to stand and choose to push herself.

I am not pushing myself, I am not making myself stand. I am just relying on others to help me stand.

I am not going to do that anymore. I am not going to sit around and be waited.anymore. More than ever, I want to become a reliable person.

I want, I should, I shall

Countdown

4 more weeks to go. feeling a bit smitten! rahsssss! Must stay sane!!!! will do it will do it will do it!!!!!

Eleanor will do it!!!

3 weeks! jia you!

fireworks on new year day ^^

must jia you! 3 weeks to buck myself up!