Drink. Talk. Relax

WHOOHOO!!!! yesterday was my last day of wirk!!!!! it feels so good! WHOOHOOO!!

Yeah.. but anyway, went out in the evening with Darren. Yay! i bought a bangle and a black dress at far east plaza!^^ Love the dress!! Don't think i will spend that much on clothes since i got what i wanted. The chicken rice at far east plaza is also really good!! plus one more bonus point! it's cheap!^^

Also had to dress up today. I jus feel more comfy to wear smart casual in a pub rather than jus shirt and jeans. Not too bad^^! Also went to see the opera gallery. Learnt a lot of things about art! Thanks to Darren! Look through some art stuff. I f i were to say which is my fav... hmmm.. it will be the painting of the reflections on the water. I want to learn more!!

I drank Matini with him and chat through the night. Listened to a filipino band. The spring rolls are good and the interior is nice^^! love it!^^

ANyway, Here's some of the pics^^!







Drinks: appletino (darren), lycheetini(mine)

That's abt it 4 today^^! cya^^!

The lady

To the lady,
of fa la so,
thy heart has gathered thyself,
my gracious has become stronger,
your tears, the pleasing ointment nutured the seed,

thy tree had grown,
but it will keep growing,
fear not for it's change

my dear,scare for not,
for thy hope is there,
the future will change,
good or bad,

hold on and see,
because thy hope is there,
for you to see the beauty.

Tuesday with Morris

If there's one book that makes tears in my eyes, it's tuesday with Morries. At first reading the book left many questions in my mind and I really admire the man named Moorris. He's a compassionate old guy who will joke and laugh even if he was in his death bed.

But there's always these messages repeting and always repeating. Looks, money, materials and jobs, are they eally important? Or are the relationships between people more important. There are always times where people (including myself) take relationships for granted.

Until when it's the time on our death beds where we start to regret. But what Morris said that once u accept death, u start grasping important things in your life.

That book has so many philisopies until my head got buried in the book and i m now slowly digging my way out. But it held so many things so true.

Such a small book left so many questions in me. But while i was running to get my head clear again, I find that instead of wanting to be someone like Morris, I will lead my own life and my own way. While his view of life is really remarkable and i really admire it a lot, but i wan to do things my own way but for the same thing, to look at the most important things of your life.

hee hee^^! i must be a sap but it's a good sap^^!!! oh well... my mind is still cluded by it but it's really meaningful^^!

Got to go and scoop eleanors mind up before she goes HUH? again. cya!

my special story

In tribute of winning the fat dream contest's consolation prize. I m once again posting my story in this blog^^!

THAT BOY NAMED JACK

Good day to you all. I am rocky 911. Do not mind my poor appearance of an old ragged soft toy or my strange name. Perhaps I am still cute in your eyes like what a teddy bear is meant to be. But today, I am not going to talk about myself but instead, of this young lad whom I found rather fascinating. He got me when he was a mere four or five years old and I became his best buddy. That young boy was named Jack.

You see, Jack was not really good looking and neither was he really thin. He was rather plump really and had such a queer attitude. No doubt he got his nickname, “The Fat Weirdo”. He had strange little speeches like wanting to dream fat. Usually people would say they would want to dream big. However, in his case, he wanted to dream fat. I was thinking that he should be saying that he had a fat dream. Many people told him that. His parents, his teachers and his taunting classmates corrected him many times. Why would he shake his head so vigorously and say “NO!”?

Then later, I would hear him muttering, “They don’t understand.” Maybe it was because he loved to eat. I did not really understand what he meant by dreaming fat until he explained them to me. However, he told me to keep it a secret which I had kept until now. So what was his fat dream? He wanted to become someone people could believe in, like Oprah Winfrey. It could be any job, a chef, an actor, anything. So why did he say “I want to dream fat” and not “big”? We should see this in the later part of my telling.

I saw Jack grow up. Not really alone, he had a few precious friends who understood him. I saw him slowly eating the pain of being called an underdog and a useless brat. I saw him eating away rather deliciously over the good times he had. I saw Jack slowly cooking a plot and ate that plot to see if it really tasted good. Many times he would wince painfully and swallow rather reluctantly or he would rub his stomach and lick his lips. I saw him tried new recipes of many different styles like gardening or sewing. Basically, anything he could get his hands on. Sometimes I had seen him trim down sadly and sometimes I had seen him getting fatter, full of pride. But after all those times of eating, I had seen him go higher and higher up the ladder of success, refusing to give up in every step he made. When at last he found what he wanted to do, I saw him swell not with pride but the happiness of all those times. Jack became a chef who cooked wondrous meals for the rich and gave nutritious food for the poor. Maybe he could not make a large scale of people believe in him immediately, but slowly and surely, he would with every bite that he took.

I remember how he explained to me about dreaming fat. You see, dreaming big could have some errors in it. A dream may seem to be big on the outside but has nothing inside. Having a fat dream did not really mean you will accomplish it. It was just like having a fat dream. However, to dream fat, there is substance in it. Everything that you had gone through, everything that you took in is what makes you today. When Jack said that he wanted to dream fat, it was because he wanted the dream to come true. Strange isn’t it? That such a small child that he was had thought about it that way.

There was a girlfriend that Jack brought over one day. She brought a little friend along. That friend was a cute little soft toy bunny called Chaddy. She was really a nice sweet gentle creature. Chaddy asked me once,” Jack is a really nice guy, but don’t you think he is a little fat?”

And I replied to the very confused bunny,” Nah… His dream is fatter.”


I hope you like it^^!

hmmmm!

Really bored now so listened to some music. If you ask me what moment i have been thinking of, it will be just listening to a song, sit by the window,drinking milo or hot chocolate. Today is not bad. Went to have lunch with my relatives. How strange. Why is it everytime when i want to connect myself to my cousins they are not there?

Hahaha... but oh well! hahahaha! next time, I will try even harder to connect with them and overcome my shyness^^!

Btw, i just cut my hair. It looks cute and quite fresh! Not too bad! I liiiike! I don't know why the sudden change of mindset, maybe it's the feeling of wanting to try something new but I feel like highlighting my hair. But the thing is I spent a lot of effort making my hair lustous black, wouldn't it be a waste to just highlight them? Argh! Wishy-washy! I will probably wash away the decision again when the time comes!

yeah! But i feel bored now! gotta look for sth fun before work starts tmw-.-...

cys!

whoohoo!

Do yu know wad's the most amazing thing for tonight?

I won a consolation priza for a writing competition. But ok la. Actually i enjoy writing it more than wanting a prize for it. I really like the stories i created. But yes, thanks god sooo much! i m happy!!! but i guess i learn that maybe things shouldn't be taken so seriously and we ought to have fun in the things we want to do.

It's always the process that count because it gives so much than a prize can give you. So from now on, i will try! i will enjoy the things i do and do my best! Eleanor jia you! I shall enjoy the process and learn and learn and learn!

<3

I finally went out with Chong Yun, Jack and Alvin today! Finally!!! i have been waiting for this day like forever. We had a great time today! he's not moody or sian or wadsoever. I really hope we can do this often. I miss them all so much. Especially going out with Chong Yun.

You know the sad thing is as time pass and as we walk different paths, we form our own lives. We have new friends and sometimes we do not think much about the old ones. That's including me. But to be honest, all of us need friends no matter what. We just want someone out there to accept us. And i really appreciate all the friends i have out there. I may have my own life but I must remember for those who are closest to me and those who are willing to go through thick and thin with me.

Anyway, we played pool and bowling today. I think my friends have noticed it, somehow I am better today. Maybe somehow i learn not to be so worked up and excited and just play like what play should be. I seem totally relaxed today. I wasn't nervous or anything but i guess i was just being myself. Sorry i seem so tired!! My fault! Shouldn't have slept late yesterday. But also I prefer to be calm today la. Being hyper is good but i just want to be myself today. really!

But today is quite a fun day and i m really happy^^!

uneventful last min day

Today had my computer fixed FINALLY! XD Takes me sooooo long to fix this com until it feels so weird to even sit in front of the com. The untoched mouse also became really unfamiliar too. grrr grrrr... remind me to get a better one next time.

Anyway, aside from that, went out for dinner with a MI friend ,George today. He changed a lot. I mean ic annot recognise him liao! but overall it was quite ok. He had to go off pretty soon though. But ok la, he's nice enough to treat me.^^

A lot of things is last min!>.< but it's quite ok i guess. At least i dun go panick and freaky.

That's abt it^^!

emotion test

Copy, Paste, Don’t look at the bottom
before you do the thing or it won’t
work!
This is scary but pretty accurate.

1. Which colour is better red, black,
green, blue, or yellow?

green!^^ I like trees!

2. What’s your first initial?

E (duh!)

3. What month is your birthday?

Feb

4. Which colour do you like more, black
or white?

Neither, i m not emo nor m i blank.

5. Name one of your friends..

which one? there's so many! let's just pick one. Alvin

6. Your favorite number?

22

7. Do you like flying or driving more?

R u kidding?? of cuz flying!!

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean
more?

Lake! ocean is not too bad though!

9. Think of a wish, but don’t write it
- .........




–Answers–

1. If you chose:
Red: You are alert and your life is
full of love.

Black: You are conservative and
aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you
are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love
kisses and affection from the ones you
love and give good advice to those who
are down.

Yellow - you are a very happy person..

2. If you’re initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and
friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy your life to the
maximum & your love life is soon to
blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your
future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well
for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally
unexpected.

April-June: You will have a strong
love relationship that will last
forever.

July-Sept: You will have a great year
and will experience a major life-
changing experience for the good.*

Oct-Dec: Your love life will be great,
and eventually you will find your soul
mate.

4. If you chose:
Black: Your life will take you on a
different direction, it will seem hard
at times but will be the best thing
for you, and you will be glad for the
change.

White: You will have a friend who
completely confides in you and would
do anything for you, but you may not
realize it.

5. This person is most important to you

6. If it is:
1-50 you are a very lovable person and
you have a great life*
more then 50 is nothing

7. If you chose:
Flying - You like adventure.

Driving - You are a laid back person.

8. If you chose:
Lake - You are loyal to your friends,
your lover, and yourself. You are very
reserved and not emotional.

Ocean - You are spontaneous and like
to please people sometimes.

9. This wish will come true only if
you repost this with the title:

Emotion Test. don't cheat


I was bored so i tried this quiz. it's not that accurate but it was ok^^!!

TKD competition 2^^

i was too tired to post yesterday so i decided to write everything down today.

Yesterday, the matches were really exciting and somehow it spur me on to go and fight too.The killing aura was really uite strong in myself. I really felt it and when i turn to look at my friend, he jerked!!!! HAhahaha.... pretty cool! But while everybody did their best, there's alwways the need for improvement. I am not saying just them, but myself too!
Overall, we had 2 bronze, 2 gold and 2 silver.

Then later after that, everyone sat down and taled about our feelings. It's nothing mushy or whatsoever. It's like just saying out our thoughts and what we should do. After hearing everyone talk and my senior's comments, I made a few promises to myself. And I feel it's a not bad idea to actually listen to a straight forward comment.


The thing is I am not going to say anything here except maybe, JA YOU. As for the promises, no point saying it. When I really make them, i will indicate them here. i wan to be the best as i can as a person!! WO MEN DOU JIA YOU!!!! WE WILL SEE!!!!

TKD competition 1^^

Today was the aprring competition!!! yesterday was the pattern competition!!! My team was really mast min but i m really glad we sychonised with each other still and i am really happy for my team!! But i am happier when the other sun jian team made it to 2nd round. BUT YOU KNOW WAD??? WE didn't get any medal. U KNOW WHY? because they look at the freaking stances and not teamwork!! you know, getting perfect stances is hard but it's freaking harder to coodinate with each other AND OUR TEAMS ARE EVEN FREAKING BETTER THAN THE OTHER TEAMS!!! dun care them man, they did their best and we are really pround of them.

TODAY, we had 3 medals and I WAN TO CONGRATULATE DEVESTER, KELI, Eileen and watsisname (sorry!!! I forgot). They have won bronze, silvers and one of them got gold. AND ALSO GOOD JOB TO SUN JUN and MIN YI!!! You have done your best and i have seen how much hard work you put in! JIA YOU!! next year i will try my hand in sparring and if can, i will get a medal^^

Tonight, wad's with listening to rock music and thinking about the competition. I got a very excited and determined feeling. Something that I rarely feel and probably lick my lips in a bizarre way^^. I shall call this feeling, "fighter's lust". The feeling of wanting to "sa" and attack. sooooo not mself, but that's what i am feeling now. I really want to win for sp^^ and myself.

I AM GOING TO WORK HARD FOR TKD! I WANT TO!!! AND FOR MY COURSE IN DID!!!! i feel like kicking ass now -.-.

The song i was listening to! TO TURN OFF SONG,SCOLL ALL THE WAY DOWN AND OFF THE MUSIC!!

CRITICAL REASONING SKILLS B

PSYCHOLOGY AND COUNSELLING B+

Design Studio C

Interior Technology C

Theory of Design C

Computer Aided Desihn & presenttion D+

Here are my results! I PASSED^^! BUT DUN CARE! MUST JIA YOU! JIA YOU ELEANOR JIA YOU! COMPETITION IN 2 DAYS TIME!^^

Birthday XD

Happy birthday to me^^! hahahaha^^... ok! It's like a normal day becasue i didn't go out or anything but i find it really special and really... weird?

Why weird? here are the reasons:
1. I look good (usually my face's tradition is to break out and my stomach is not very obedient either>.<)

2. It's the hols for me

3. I am not stressing and go ARRRGH over homework or tests

4. I just look good^^


But other than that, I am really really happy. I know I m going to second year in my course (MUST IMPROVE XD) and I really thank God for all the gifts he had given me all the years and made me what I am today^^! Thank God so much!!^^ I am Super super happy when people remembered and greeted me happy birthday! I am really really happy^^. You can say that my birthday is quite easily forgotten over the years. Not saying that i m something special but i guess some part in me just want people to know. Hahaha... Am I strange or what.

But the truth is I am happy that everyone said happy birthday to me and i want to thank you truly from my heart.

My family celebrated with me yesterday at the restaurant Valentino, one of the best Italian restaurant in this country in my opinion. The food is MMMM... delizioso *kiss fingers*... Love the deserts*_*... Hahahaha... but yeah! I am really thankful to everyone who wished me and celebrated with me^^!

THANK YOU EVERYONE AND I WISH YOU TO HAVE A GOOD YEAR AHEAD!

Thank u!

To the people who are concern over me in tkd, sorry i was a littlr unappreciative. I was trying quite hard that i forgot to have fun and I was a little frustrated.

Anyway, abt my first job, i may not be so good yet! But that doesn;t mean i cannot improve. ELEANOR JIA YOU JIA YOU! It was my first time to do a flyer (graphic design) but while having fun, hope can improve a lot more! Must jia you!
And do good!

Anyway, i was feeling a little down today, because of some problems. But after seeing so many people take care of me in tkd, I wan to say a big THANK YOU! I m really blessed and happy to be side by side by you people.

I also thank God for giving such blessings. I learn today that I must have confidence in God and the things i do. A special friend, Sun jun, told me that there r times to relax and be serious and be confident abt myself.

I know i kind of sound strange here like a little kid, but i guess i m jus happy with the things i have now and i really really appreciate them^^.

i loooove yesterday

Yesterday, went out with my best friends after a very looong time. Believe me, it's really long since the three musketeers went out together and have a great time! Went shopping with the cutie pie, Madeleine and the hot sexy babe, Sherie. Hahaha... I really miss hanging out with them. Madeleine bought really cute clothes and stayed overnight. Pity sherie has to go home because she had work today. But i really had fun last night chatting with madeleine.^^

Btw,its the very first time we took neoprint together. Here it is:

what do you think of this story?

There was once a girl who lived a sheltered life,
everyday was something new and happy,
and then a wizard saw her pure soul
and he came up to her with an evil intention
the girl knows he's bad, it's obvious

Thw wizard told her," I give you the ability to speak to the deaf,
but once you have the ability,
you will die after one month.

The girl thought about it...
and said yes

From then on, she could speak and sing to the deaf
until when the day comes
when she laid on the bed with her family around her
"Are you sure of this?" They asked.
"It's my life anyway," she said with a smile

As she passed on,
the wizard collected her pure soul,
to use for his spell to spread sickness,
but what he didn't know was the soul could think for itself
and the spell didn't work

Through his frustrated tears
he saw a girl laughing and smiling

The thing here is if the girl refused,
the wizard will not be able to cast the spell
and she still have her precious life.

What do you think?

first time clubbing

I have no idea about clubbing until now. Hahaha... i didn't know it was this fun. Let's see, last night i went clubbing at zouk and MOS. The drinks were pretty good. I had shots like apple stewdal and sex on the beach. There was cherry brandy too. I got high enough but not high enough to go tipsy and shout I love the world.

Too be honest, I have no idea how to talk to my cousins. Maybe i am just too shy to open up to them or I just don't cliche. But other than that, my cousins were quite protective over me and I really appreciate that. Hmmm.... I do find it embarassing though. I was always the one to be taken care of. But at least we are all family. I may not fit in or may not be able to open up. But i am willing to try. I will definitely open up next time and have more confidence ove myself. I think life will be better this way.

Well.Overall it's still quite fun. I actually danced from 12 - 3:45am from house to mambo to R&B. pretty cool huh? That's abt it. I had some fun.^^

whoohoo!

Thanks god so much. You know, getting promoted to year 2 in Poly is not a big issue to many people but to me, it's like wow. I feel so So relieve and so happy. I can't describe how relieve or happy i was. After 1 year in failing in MI and 1 year of really totally slogging for my assignments, i went to year 2. It's a small acheivement yes... but to me, it's really big. i could even feel my tears.

I feel really thankful for my family supporting me especially the decision of transferring to poly and helping me with my work during my assignments. If i am demoralized, they always say encouraging things to me.

But i am not going to stop there. I am going to improve myself, I want to improve myself. I want to turn that dream i have into reality. So the first step will be my time management.

But other than that, I just want to say that I am really really happy about this. and really glad^^. it's feels so wonderful when my family said congrats to me.

hols

Ok... this is ther first hols that i really have nothing to do and i really really am not used to it. But then, again, i will be speaking the total opposite when i start working.

To be honest, all i want now is to know if i can make it to 2nd year. that's all i want.

But that aside, i also have a fun time. Last Sat, went to plaza sing and esplanade with Alice, Anglia and Sharon. It's pretty cool. I had the pleasure of shouting over the rooftop of esplanade. Somehow i got the impression that the guy near me thinks i am crazy. He gave me that "look" >.<. Hahaha... but it's quite fun actually. =P









Then i went swimming with my best firned, madeleine yesterday. I have thinned down a bit. That's pretty good. It was my first time going to jurong east pool. I looove the wave pool! it's so fun. Of cuz i came back with sun kissed cheeks and nose, but it's so very fun. But something not so good happened last night. I wish i can hug her.

Life does have lemons i guess, but i shouldn't forget the yummy cherries and mangoes... hahaha... but of cuz, words are easier said than done.

i dunno wad to say... it's over?

hmmm... It's over? The project is done and submitted and marks have been taken down. But to be honest, i know i ought to feel relaxed and happy. But i have these groundless fear of not being able to pass. So i am writing this down for some relief. But pls do not bring this topic up. It's not meant for people to give me encouragement and assurances which seems to very assured.-.-... sorry! it's just that i trat this blog as a way to broadcast the feelings of me. Of course there will be certain secrets but there will be these things in general.

Anyway, there's a movie that tug my heart. 881... I thought i won;t like it but it left me having affections for this movie and how people live. Dremas to be fulfilled, people to cherish, the importance of money, preserving the culture and so many things. But i really really found it touching and nice to watch. It's not like the other films, depressing and having a uncertain end that makes me go huh? The show is like having precious and happy moments and cherishing those faithful moments. There's also a certain humor in them and how people smile and be strong when they come to trouble.

I hope that I will be able to be trong and alays stand when i fall. Never give up and have a smile that brightens the day. hmmm... somehow the show took sentimental thoughts out of me. Hahahaha...

Yeah, but anyway, the show is nice.

GO DOWN IF YOU WANT TO OFF THE MUSIC!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!

Happy new year everybody and god bless! I hope that all your wishes come true and that you will be healthy and happy.

To be honest, quite a lot of things happened in 2007. First, it's my transfer from MI to SP.

Honestly, i was near depression duing that period of time before i decide to go to SP. I guess it's therealization of who I am and my flaws. But i dd somehow have a "new life" when i came to SP. I didn't regret withdrawing from MI, not at all.


Quitting the school is quite risky especially when i do not have a place in poly to go. But, thanks God that I really did got in. Anyway, it's not because i regretted joining MI, NEVER. I just don't fit in there. I am thankful for being in there. It's like a wake up call.

I guess i did change a bit. But i think it's not enough. I mean I don't want to change my entire self, i just want to be able to THINK for myself. instead of depending on the others.

It's not bad or anything, but i believe it's good to be independent. Because the one who can truly affect the future is myself. BUT! haha... it's easier said than done. But still, i really aprreciate my friends who are always there for me, giving me advice and tolerating my nonsense. I really appreciate it alot!^^

Anyway, I had some relationship problems this year. It's not surprising but it does hurts. It's somehow predicted by my feeling i guess. But after talking it out and compromising and finding ways to solve it, it's much better.

Then my grandmas had passed on. Not one but two, on both sides. Honestlt, i was scared when i first experience mama's (my dad's side) funeral. Guess i had not been to a funeral for a very long time. The second time, it's not too bad. But it's still sad. Reall sad. Both of them cared for me, both of them really loved me. My aunt told me about m grandma on dad's side. She always talked about me. Always smiled when i visit her. Haha... I can still remember how she would sit by my side while i draw. then there por por (my mom's side. she always cared for me when my parents are not home. Pet me to sleep when i got out of bed at night when i am yound. I guess i am closer to her because i get to see her often. I really cried a lot when she died. But I know boh of them are happy and resting.^^

Also, there's my first year in Interior Design. Hundreds of sleepless nights and late nights, working working working. There's frustration, I was tired and grumpy. But a brand new experience. I felt that i can appreciate art. I really want to be like i was in the beginning, eaer to learn, full of passion. So much fun. But at the 2nd semester, i wasa zombie for 2-4 months i think. But to be honest, I think i didn't feel depressed throughout the thing. I can still smile, i can still laugh, i don't have to cheer myself up every night. Also, i was too tired and busy to be depressed a thing. Took me two weeks away from the project to become myself again.

I learnt about psychology too! It's really fun! But to be honest, the information in the book is so elementary. Wish there's more. But yeah, i guess i did change a little. But it's progress!^^ Let it continue.

My resolution is to manage my time,lose weight and believe in myself. I think.


Anyway, Happy new year to you people out there. God bless and may your wishes come true!

wow music

i don't know but i never hear such a orchestra song that gives me the impression of the music itself is dancing before. The asian way of dancing, the graceful dancing. The lively dancing with feet tiptoeing at any time, the hands in the air, the smile of dancers dancing.

WOW....

SWITCH OFF THE MUSIC BELOW LEFT IF YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS MUSIC!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

This past 2 days, i have been eating and eating and eating. I think i better get off my lazy bum and qork out. Doing hmwk is also a must do. So the next few days, i am DOING my HMWK!

Had fun though. I can still remember my Godma's chocolate fondue fountain. Awfully tempting and sinful. I love the food on the christmas table. But i guess wad i really like most is the company. Met 4 adorable kids. Always playful but they are good kids (i think). Yup1 I spend last week training for my tkd and also i think i need to improve my physical condition. So i think it's time to attain some dicipline here.

Anyway, i was reading a person's blog. Call me naive, i don't care. But while it's ok to open your eyes and see a person's character. I don't quite agree if u see them as bimbos. jerks and sadistic maniacs. I mean, I have to admit, i used to think that i am better and seem to look down on others. Also tend not to trust anybody and found no way to laugh at their jokes. But it's natural i think. Because i had been hurt by people before. Thinking that way does help give you support. The hardest thing is to open yourself up and smile and trust people after the hurt had been done.

But it's been a year. Ever since this year after i took the first step, i now see people as my equals and not judge anybody. It took a while to take away that habit, but it worked. I don't know, but it seems to me that maybe life would be better if we lighten up a little. I don't see any wrong in it. It's ok to laugh at jokes at yourself. but remember to uphold that self-respect and not let people ill treat you. There may be flaws and weaknesses but don't forget that you are the same. After all we are are human beings. Even if we on't see the flaws in a person, he or she may have it hidden or we just missed it.

Anyway, at least that's what i think. I don't think the world is perfect and there may be a time that i myself will get hurt again. But if we are to shut our eyes and ears and our hearts, i don't think there will be happiness, or at least that's for me. It's not easy i know, but i think it's really worth to give it a try.

sudden poem^^

I was watching this show, Hwang Jin Yi. A touching show but the dances are really... wow! I admire the lady, standing up for herself, being strong minded, gifted in every ways. She's also really beautiful. The only reason why people look down on her is that she is a courtesan which i find really sad. Probably the first show to make me cry so badly until my eyes got infected >.<. Check this video out! GO DOWN BELOW AND STOP THE SONG IF U WANT TO SEE THIS VIDEO.




Anyway, the show left me thinking about it and I suddenly got an inspiration for a poem.

If beauty….

If beauty meant eternal sorrow,
My heart will bleed for its lovely tune,
Lest it holds that much hope,
Perhaps fragrance will change chances,
Hold strong the flower of Far la so,
Make sure it tramples not its soul,

Idealism makes the lark cheer,
Lest it didn’t the lark swallow,
Hold strong my wish to be,
I give thee hope if to make such beauty.

heh...

Do you know, it's really funny as if my mind is quite unpredictable, my emotions are really unexpected. I am actually feeling that i am blessed by god now. i wonder why. God has been so good to me. He gave me family. He gave me friends, he gave me passion, he did not give me a perfect life but he gave me a some things in life which makes me smile and laugh and think wow.

it's so strange this feeling. Like something i never feel in a long time. It's so very strange. strange...

Anyway, the weekend was good. I enjoy the outing with anglia and alice. Hahaha... they are both so funny. We visited the design exhibition about the works of an architect, alva alto. Then we gourge ourselves at Ala-meen. the malay and indian restaurant. It's really quite a different experience! the atmosphere is different and the food is quite good! anyway, we were really quite full. I was the one whose the least full. hahaha...

yeah, so i took a break. anyway, here are some photos!

alva alto exibition





and random pics from us!




that's abt it! god bless!

2 more weeks to chirstmas holidays

2 more weeks of craziness to chirstmas holidays. Looking forward to it really. I need a break, to laugh smile and hold my dear ones close especially one particular guy. I miss him.^^ Anyway, i hope you like the new song1 it's nice and jazzy and not too bombastic for this blog. Uber cool!

Ahhhhh.... I need to focus on my design project(sick of this word but can't find other words)!

HURRY CHIRSTMAS HURRY!

>:

I am just writing my frustration down and so pls don't bring this up. i dun need to talk about it or more like don't want to and i DUN wan any sympathy.

I haven't seen an F for a very long tme until recently. nowi got an F in IT. like ****. Y am i taking this so seriously because I want to move on, not to be retained or kicked out. when I saw this result, memories of last year came back to me. The agony of always failing, the agony of fear over my results, the disappointment of my parents. I really feel very ****** up.

I cannot continue like this. I must buck up and get rid of all this. I don't want to ruin my life, depend on my parents throughout my life. One *********** year is enough. I swore last year i will never burden my family. I have to improve. No matter what it takes.

a very so-called break

I won't say that this is not a break and I won't say that this is the time to relax. As long as my course is still up and running everyday, i find it hard to really become a couch potato or to really relax like it's a holiday. In a way, it is good of course. But i am feeling much better... way much better. I think.

Last Sat, i went out with Faz to watch a movie, Bewolf. It is not really bad. I just don't like the scary part of a deformed human, and man being eaten. I also hate the nude bodies in the movies. Not that I am rigid about moral values, it is just that the full blown sight irks me >.<.

Ever since friday (crazy day) night, I have been lazing until now. But i stopped this laziness few mins ago and I am going to touch my work again.

Anyway, nothing much really happened but here r some photos that Faz and I took.







P.S sorry for the blur pics

frustration boiling

I dunno what I should feel. Should i feel indifferent or angry or frustrated? I bet it''s frustration. frustration over ot knowing what to do, frustration of not doing things right, frustration on how things are not going my way. I cannot stand it. Why does it have to happen to me?!?

I didn't sleep for 44 hours, worked like crap on one model and it still doesn't show my concept. Argh! grrrrrr.....

If i say i hate it, it will only be demoralising. But what to do? How brain how?!? jus work for once for pete's sake.

Argh! I pray and hope my crit is not on friday, i have a very bad feeling that it would be.

>.<

happy deepavali!

HAPPY DEEPAVALI to the people out there! Hope u have fun!
I am still feeling the impact of sleeping one full night. I didn't sleep for the past 3 days. Actually I intended to sleep for 1 hour yesterday before going back to my work. Turns out that I slept for 5 hours, from 8pm to 1 am. Then before i get to touch my laptop, my mom forced me to sleep. Said something about mumbling in your sleep is not very good.

As usual, I stll didn't get very good comments in my design so i have to rethink my ideas. Thought of new ideas, hopefully more will come out. Feeling abit sleepy but hey, at least i had some sleep... hahaha....

Sheesh.... if there's one thing i will never do, it will be telling my mom to read this blog. It's bad enough to see her sometimes listening to my conversation on the phone. letting her see my personal thoughts will be downright creepy.

Anyway, I will be going out to see one of the lecturer's office with my friends. quite cool!

here's some of the not very good pics of my model:

exterior:


interior:

AHHHH....

AHHHH...how to do my model? My sprained hand is aching and i have to lean on it,O.O

wad happened the past few days

Well, on sat night, we had dinner with my uncle who came back from NZ and will be going back there again somewhere in next week or this week. The chinese dinner was really good especially the appetizers, toufu and dessert. Hahaha... I wish i brought my camera along.

Then we went to a bar and played pool in the clubhouse called legion. It was really cool. I had a drink called Sex On The Beach. It was really yummy. Quite fruity and sweet. And i learned how to play pool properly. Hahaha... FUN....

Other than that, life is pretty normal We have e-learning week this week. That means I can catch up with my thoughts and what I want to do. Hahaha... Hope i can get things done in advance.

Today had TKD (aka tekuando), I found how much my stamina lack and somehow i overexerted myself and couldn't breathe. I feel really embarassed and guilty. But I really thanks the people who show concern to me. Thanks a lot. Other than that, I don;t want to talk about it.

So yeah, Better catch up with my hmwk and catch up with God as well. It's time to come back to him and thank him for all these blessings.

That's about it! God bless!

e-learning week

Yesterday was really a relief. After a week full of work and everything, somehow having no sleep is not really an option... hahaha... But overall it's quite fun. Yesterday, i thought the lecturer will frown on my work, so horrible looking, but somehow she didn't. hahaha... Then we saw her cry when she tried to explain to us what it is to truly design. Kind of shows that she is quite concern for us and she is really true to design.


Psychology lesson was really fun. With all the skits and presentation. Most of the skits are quite funny. If I weren't hapf dead, I could have laughed more. Guess what, I was asked to act like a flirt yesterday. I think it's quite wierd though..hahaha... but it is funny.

Then the same personal matter pops up again and I felt my heart trown somewhere far off that I can barely reached it. I only knew that I was panioking inside and I am trying to think about it. There are friends who were there for me yesterday. Thanks you all.

While I still am very very worried over that matter, I will still say that overall, yesterday was ok. There's good times and bad times. Guess, I just have to learn how to take this matter.

hmmm

Don't ask me why.... I just find this video is rather inspirational.. it's a bit angsty... But yeah, it's good to stand again and run again.

PRESS ESC IF YOU WANT TO OFF SONG!

resilience

hahaha... I got inspired by a piano song. So i wrote this poem randomly. There's quote that says, "I will try again tomorow". Even if i were to fail anf fail, I have to keep trying. Because I want to make something out of myself. To be someone who have somethingi unique in the world that the world don't have.

Giving great thought,
To sense of resilience,
Like a great spell cast against me,
I wonder what I will be,
To be good in the things I want to do?
Or just watch it collapse against my clumsy fingers?
If insecurities are there to suffocate,
I pray that I am not the victim.
But everything needs attempt yes?
If there were never mistakes,
Never never could I learn.

good news and not so good news

The critique was quite a relief really.... since I have expected worse. But it does gives me the sense of needing to improve. Especially my aesthetic sense. I don't think I am really myself today, but i can't help it -.- . Anyway, although i had fun messing around with facebook, I still hate being one of the last few to present. It's justt too stressful. But oh well, it's over. So it is time for a hot chocolate and some rest before I begin working again.^^

Guess wad? I passed my grade 8 piano exam! WHOOT!

alive kicking

You know, there's a local term for how i feel now. It's called "kick dao shuang".... In orther words, after my CCA today, I feel really refresh. I don't know why. I just do. Actually today,i feel a little disheartned and angsty but i guess maybe i shouldn't hub over my failure so much.

Now all i want is to get fresh ideas so i don't have to be so lost. Maybe i should go to the CCA more often. and not spend too much time in my work. If not, maybe we will just feel burned out by the work we do. So yeah, i should just go out for a walk or exercise with a group of friends next time. ^^

that's about it today!Feels good to kick those bad feelings away.

cool fun break

Finally i can afford a break to the hectic confused week! Went out with Liang hao and watched a movie called "balls of fury" and then went shopping over some stuff. Hahaha.... It's been so long since I went out with him. It's really really cool! hahaha..... I get to try some hats!!! Too bad i got no camera to take them. For some reason, hats became really interesting to me. It's like something fancinating to try on. Hahaha.... So today was not too bad. In fact, it's good to take a break once a while. Let me feel refreshed!^^ Well... that's about it today. Here's one groovy babe whom i found really cool! PRESS ESC IF U WANT TO SWITCH OFF SONG!

-.-

th emost frustrating to think of now is losing the flow of my thinking. It was going great jus now until one particular moment. I don't know whether I should just act frustrated. Imagine trying to keep yourself awake even though you took a nap in the afternoon and finally get the flow of the thinking and it stopped all of a sudden. Darn emotions. It's really really frustrating.

takes coffee and get a grip

That's it. I am not going to dwell in this stupid meaningless swirling of emotions and getting lost in it and ecoming cluttered after that. I am getting a grip and HE better msg by tmw if not I am not going to be very happy. So starting from now, I am so going to pick myself up and do this work! *rah*

motivated

It's been a week of swirling emotions. Most of the days spent cracking my brain to come up with a relevant concept for my project. Finally come up with "Graceful Sense of Balance" by wednesday. But then, after that, I have to create two more concept models and 1 study model by friday. I only started on thursday. So by thursday night, I had experience a big hugwe topedo of emotions. First I was emo, then I had brain spasm which means I was laughing quite out of no reason. Guess it must be my body's way to destress. After that, I got emo again and I became agitated becoz my friend said sth that frightens me. So many emotions in one night. I think my brain had a short circuit after that. Because I couldn't think anymore. I Anyhow did my study model and it became an AQUARIUM!!!! Horrible. I am supposed to create a gathering room, not an AQUARIUM! So after a very good night odf rest. I will be redoing my model, hopefully by today and tmw I will start on my second model. Must jia you! But this time I am not going to push myself so hard that I can't breathe.

Here's some of the work I have done.

My mood boards

1st mood board
vitality


2nd mood board
graceful sense of balance


my concept models






my study model

anyhow done

VENT VENT!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I feel so so..... argh! 8 hours of racking brain last night with sleep stocked away very redundantly! 2 days and 8 hours of ******** thinking of the concept and also finally thinking that it's the right one and they just took 1 min to hear about it, and 1 sec to say IT"S A NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO NO NO NO NO!

Rah! Okay! After this ranting, i better calm down! I feel so frustrated. Like how? It makes me feel I am so.... brainless. What am I going to do now? Sigh! I have to keep pushing forward no matter what!

Anyway, the second concept I came up with is "Beyond The Realm". I thought it's poetic and it is unique to the chinese acrobats but it turn out to be too general. They said I am too ambitious. Maybe I should relax a bit and look again! I DON"T KNOW! But I HAVE TO TRY! Anyway, here's my cocept model for beyond the realm.




wish me luck! T.T

ARGH!

It's been days and I have yet to comeup with a good concept! At first I chose 'vitality' but aftr showing the lecturersmy concept, they said it's wrong because of it being too "loose"! Hope I get the concept soon!!

concept concept!!

I need to think of a concept which i have yet to think up. Hmmm... my lecturers told me that I am not analytic enough! Argh! It's the same comments as last time. So what I am going to do now is to read my research and instructions clearly before i continue. Let's hope I don't mess up this one.

Attended my psychology lesson yesterday. They say that if you think you can do it, you can do it. So I am going to do that now and kick ass,

Speaking of kick ass, I have tkd grading tomorrow. I will pass!!! Better jia you!

tea

Tea cup!

Had tea with a friend today. It's not really bad! hahaha.... The tea was really yummy. Going to the cafe is really fun when you ae either in the mood or with some friends. So yeah it's really nice! I like the tea cups. It will be so cool if I have them at home.

Anyway, still trying to figure out the concept for my project! Rah! I don't care! Must keep doing my best! Anyway, we had some comments from our lecturers. It's something about transitional space and brain storming more than ten ideas. Think I better go and research a bit more. The picture is sooo sooo blur... Better get it right!

New project

9 days more before honey comes back. Missing him but yes, I am still coping. I hate mt results so now, I am pushing myself to become better. Believe me, it's hard but I am so going to kick my ass to work harder.

Anyway, yes, I had my project on Monday and it was like "huh?". Basically they want us to design a performance theatre via house. They separated us into groups and I got into chinese acrobatics. Okay, I am trying to research all I can. But in order to have a clearer picture, my group decided to research on just 1 troupe, and that is shangri la acrobatics. They are a really cool group. However, my research has gone lala.... Basically I can't find enough research in the net. Sigh.... Must keep trying!

Good news is that I talked to honey on phone for a min today. I miss him! so hearing his voice really made my day. But i think all that is important is that he is safe and okay and he can come home safely.

I am so going to make myself improve this time! Must JIA YOU!

last day of holiday

Yes, I am feeling the back to school blues. The jazz music doesn't really help either. It just makes me feel more blue.

Nothing much happnened today. My family and I went to church for my grandma birthday. She pass away a few months ago. But we know that she is happy. I remembered the dream of her saying goodbye. She was just standing there, smiling and waving goodbye with an umbrella. My dad said the imbrella is used to protect them.I Love my grandma.

Then we went for lunch and had a good chinese lunch. My favorite dishes will probably be the tofu and the abalone soup.^^ Then after that I went for a haircut. To be honest, I feel weird! It is like a different kind of hairstyle. Oh well... Have to wait for it to grow out.

Later, my mom and I watched the movie, coach carter. It's really inspiring. It's all about a coach teachng teenagers about doing something more about their lives. Really really cool! I had not seen such a coach before or have yet to see one. But anyway the movie is really good.

Here is a little preview:



yup! It is really cool! That's about it today^^.

Day mixed with good and bad

Today is really eventful (somewhat painfully). First i woke up early so that I can meet him earlier before setting off with him to changli airport. So happened I got stuck in a traffic jam in the morning and the taxi that I took got into an accident.

Nice right? You know, just pointing out directions to the taxi driver is not anything wrong but he swerved and hit another taxi. Then, he blamed me, Kind of tell me off, but really man, is it really my fault? The driver ought to be alert of where he is driving. Good thing that he never invloved me with the negotiations. That time I don't know what to feel, I think I was quite anxious.

I told to my bf about it, but he told me not to dwell over it, because it is not my fault. After that, went with him to the airport and sent him off. His friends are really funny and some of them are really friendly. I like their jokes. The teacher was trying to get photos of us la! But I took some shots and I will say it's not vry nice so i am not going to show it here.-.-

After that, I just drop by my best friend's house to hang out for a while. I found out that PS3 rox! It has wireless control. After that jus drop by art friend, get some supplies and that's about it.

It feels weird tonight because he is overseas. But I guess this kind of things is inevitable.

high school musical

I am not really crazy yet abt them but i must say they are really good!



http://ivancitomusic.imeem.com/video/fiMrbRvZ/were_all_in_this_together/

Haix... interesting week _._

_._ this week is one interesting week! Very interesting week. I found out I bathed in brown water. I think there must be interesting and unique minerals and proteins which may be good for my skin. (Let's just look at the bight side.) Then I got bites from some so fans which happened to be bed lice. I can feel the itch of joy coming through.


Most likely I am going to use this blog if there's any frustration that I have in mind. Probably because honey is going to be overseas for 3 weeks. But I think I will keep myself busy so I won't even think about it. I will sure miss him though.

Anyway, school starting next week. I hope to be kept really busy because i want to be busy. So here's the back to school blues. But I had fun this holidays, going out and all.

Hope time pass by fast so I can see him again.

wow.....new blogskin

okay guys! i know it looks alittle weird but i m new at this k? This is the first time i am messing around with html codes and i am still very blur about it. So hold your critisms until later. Why I choose this background? Basically because the cup of coffee looks pretty comfy and friends always love to chat over a drink.I am a cafe fanatic ( not a coffee fanatic, don't get it wrong) and so yeah, i decide to use this background. holiday is ending soon. Hopefully i come out better than before. I had some fun this holidays. First time I did real shopping. Guess now I know why people become shopoholic now. I BOUGHT BOOTS! Wahahaha... first time ever. Probably thinking that i should post some of my projects and life stories here.So feel free to take a look! ^^

the beauty of life

Ifind it so strange.I mean... there's so many things we have taken for granted. Our senses, the things we have, the fact we are alive, the many valuable things thatwe can reach for.

I wonderif I,myself can even go up and tell somebody that life is beautiful.

Yet, I have seen so many people suffering, stuck in the circle of darkness, having no idea where the light is. strange isn't it? Sometimes when we need the light the most, will someone stretch out his or her hand and bring us out of the darkness? Or do we find that light for ourselves? I remember being alone, being a person who no one wants to become friends with. Who can just be fade in the darkness and no one will feel different. The feeling is terrible. Really terrible. But i guess maybe becuse God gave me a helping hand and he took me out of the drowning waters and gently tell me to think again. Somehow i did and maybe i should think of the past if it appear on my mind. Not dwell in it but just to achknowledge and learn from it.

The most beautiful things in life are the things we probably don't really notice, Family, friends or maybe our 7 senses. Only those who didn't really have them and just to have them start to appreciaite it.

If there is to be one goal in my life, then i guess that will be ' to become a better person and make people believe too."

hahaha... Sorry i seemed to have said really random stuff, it just pop out of my mind.

Life list:
1.to be a happy and healthy person
2. to treasure the things i have around me

The fat dream poems

i made some poems.... whoohoo forthe competition ( i think).

Fats and dreams

Fats and rice,
Dreams and pies,
Fat and dreams don’t slice,
Eat and fill
Swallow them whole
Then feel the bottom rise
Sing the song of fat dream’s price
And watch the song go wide.

Comes true?

Certain realm has certain taste,
Lies the grim of hard work paste,
So beautiful the dream that swell,
Doesn’t exist where pigs had dwell,
Shortcuts shone the way to fame,
But effort lies on the way ahead,
Up to you that’s what they say,
Comes true or not it will it will?

Catch me if you can

I am fat,
I am will,
I am the dream of what comes true,
Soon to find my merry man,
Who twist and work and wriggle as well,
Those who lie won’t keep my pace,
Hurry hurry,
Don’t stop in pain,
Come to me in decent pace.

The fat dream

Yes... I know it had been eons since i touched this blog but heck... I am really very busy until now. Well, At least this is something new RIGHT? Anyway, I decided to participate in the competition in SP. It is called "the fat dream". So the theme of this story is the fat dream. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

THAT BOY NAMED JACK

Good day to you all. I am rocky 911. Do not mind my poor appearance of an old ragged soft toy or my strange name. Perhaps I am still cute in your eyes like what a teddy bear is meant to be. But today, I am not going to talk about myself but instead, of this young lad whom I found rather fascinating. He got me when he was a mere four or five years old and I became his best buddy. That young boy was named Jack.

You see, Jack was not really good looking and neither was he really thin. He was rather plump really and had such a queer attitude. No doubt he got his nickname, “The Fat Weirdo”. He had strange little speeches like wanting to dream fat. Usually people would say they would want to dream big. However, in his case, he wanted to dream fat. I was thinking that he should be saying that he had a fat dream. Many people told him that. His parents, his teachers and his taunting classmates corrected him many times. Why would he shake his head so vigorously and say “NO!”?

Then later, I would hear him muttering, “They don’t understand.” Maybe it was because he loved to eat. I did not really understand what he meant by dreaming fat until he explained them to me. However, he told me to keep it a secret which I had kept until now. So what was his fat dream? He wanted to become someone people could believe in, like Oprah Winfrey. It could be any job, a chef, an actor, anything. So why did he say “I want to dream fat” and not “big”? We should see this in the later part of my telling.

I saw Jack grow up. Not really alone, he had a few precious friends who understood him. I saw him slowly eating the pain of being called an underdog and a useless brat. I saw him eating away rather deliciously over the good times he had. I saw Jack slowly cooking a plot and ate that plot to see if it really tasted good. Many times he would wince painfully and swallow rather reluctantly or he would rub his stomach and lick his lips. I saw him tried new recipes of many different styles like gardening or sewing. Basically, anything he could get his hands on. Sometimes I had seen him trim down sadly and sometimes I had seen him getting fatter, full of pride. But after all those times of eating, I had seen him go higher and higher up the ladder of success, refusing to give up in every step he made. When at last he found what he wanted to do, I saw him swell not with pride but the happiness of all those times. Jack became a chef who cooked wondrous meals for the rich and gave nutritious food for the poor. Maybe he could not make a large scale of people believe in him immediately, but slowly and surely, he would with every bite that he took.

I remember how he explained to me about dreaming fat. You see, dreaming big could have some errors in it. A dream may seem to be big on the outside but has nothing inside. Having a fat dream did not really mean you will accomplish it. It was just like having a fat dream. However, to dream fat, there is substance in it. Everything that you had gone through, everything that you took in is what makes you today. When Jack said that he wanted to dream fat, it was because he wanted the dream to come true. Strange isn’t it? That such a small child that he was had thought about it that way.

There was a girlfriend that Jack brought over one day. She brought a little friend along. That friend was a cute little soft toy bunny called Chaddy. She was really a nice sweet gentle creature. Chaddy asked me once,” Jack is a really nice guy, but don’t you think he is a little fat?”

And I replied to the very confused bunny,” Nah… His dream is fatter.”

hmm?

you know... I wonder. All the hardship people have gone through. Will they think it is a painful memory or will they think about the people who were with them through that hardship? Maybe they are never alone, it's just that they don't know that there is someone for them. Hee hee.... Strange ain't it?

friday the last orientation day

Hmmm... yesterday was quite ok. I think I took the critism too seriously because I was dreading that presentation. Anyway, it was over and gone with.

So, there is going to be a major project coming up on Monday. I feel a little worried and nervous but a little curious of what is going to come up. I hope that I can be the best I can. Hopefully, I can do a good job in it.

Not much happened yesterday really. Just went to someone's house and watch a rented movie. Then I went to teakuando. Man... my foundation sucks. But at least I know what to improve.

I met a MI friend that day. Such a surprise! Didn't see him for about five months. Actually, he wanted to quit MI and go to poly too. Okay... I think that's about it.

God bless! Mata ja!

presentation

Believe me.... there's something about thursday that turned against us. Let's just say that we had to present 27 "sexy" photos from boat quay through an exihibit. So we decided to make an upside down dining table. Later, we found out that the lecturers will be criticising the exihibitions and we need a concept. So my mind just came up with one.

Problem is my presentation skills. Boy, was the comments painful in every tiny bit of it. Try imagine having your emotional brain knocked against something hard. The pain will come later in full force when you get your mind back.Yet, it is for my own good, so just have to make use of this constructive critism and turn them into my benefit.

Hahaha... But i am really thankful that my group mates were there to help me. I need to thank a group mate for helping me put, his nick name is jonny tanner. So thanks, I am really touched cuz I know how nervous you are.

And thank you to those people who said I am doing good. It is really comforting and it did lessen the pain. So thanks!

Argh! Tomorrow another presentation. Better prepare...Wish me all the best. I really really need it.

god bless! Mata ja!

red paint

Man... Am I shagged... came back at 10pm. Hahaha... actually today is quite zany. The lecturers gave us a task and that is to paint without thinking. So, full of zest, everyone went painting, splinkling, splashing and splating around onto a huge canvas (actually it's just newspaper on the floor). Some took the delight of painting not only the canvas, but another type of canvas as well also known as the human skin. And then someone full of zest, created a zany act and yup, the paint had became a trade mark. You know, I learnt something today, if you know that you are painting the next day, NEVER do medicure. It will just make you cry.

Want to know why am I using the words that have a Z more often today? That is because it is the word of the day.

Anyway, Tekuando is tough, It's quite fun actually. But I think I am going to have cramps the next day.... Can't believe I did back trust and 360 degrees kick all in the same day.. It's my first time... Oh well.. that's about it. Nice zany day..

God bless! mata ja!

mostly mirror mask

Today is the first day we had a proper class (I said a which means just 1) which is theory of design. It does open my eyes a little because somehow my eyes had been opened that I need some aspects to become a good designer. Like instead of looking at an object with just one angle, I can look at it at many angles and find something different about it.

Later, we had to join back to our last week’s group and find out more about Zaha Hadid. All of us thought that the person is a male but it turned out to be a woman. And truly, she is one great architect who can make her works stand out remarkably!

Most of our time is spend watching Mirror Mask. Well… It is really mundane at the start. However, the longer we watched the more interesting it becomes.
Here’s the synopsis:

Helena, portrayed by Stephanie Leonidas, is the story's protagonist. The young circus performer and aspiring artist dreams of running away to join 'real life'. Despite these feelings, Helena loves both of her parents although she spends more time with her dad in the movie. In one circus skit they juggle and then have her mother come out in a gorilla suit. After a fight with her mother, in which Helena wishes she could 'be the death' of her, her mother falls ill, possibly from a brain tumour. Helena blames herself for the illness. On the night doctors operate on her mother, Helena dreams, or thinks she dreams, of a mysterious world of masked people and monsters.


My view:
What’s really interesting about the movie is that the masked people kind of represents her surroundings as people in the circus wear masks. It also showed that in her dream world, she is the only one who dares to show her true self.


You know you have imagination, but can you imagine what your imagination looks like? That show somehow did that by mixing what Helena see in everyday’s life into a funny mixture of things. Like a human face on a cat body with wings. That’s the beauty of imagination.


Another thing about the show is, you can realise not everything good is all good. There can be such things as greed to overcome good intentions at times. But there are also times where people realise the folly of their action and will do anything to fix it back.

There's also a wonderful contrast in behavior. The dark and good side of a person. How we can turn from one person to another really depends on ourselves usually or it can be the reaction to one's treatment.

The bad thing about the show, there can be a wonderful picture of helena’s imagination may look like. But the colours, all I saw is green green and green. I mean it is quite painful to the eyes. I mean, there should be a least a bit of colour right?


Hahaha… That’s all I have to say for now. Couldn’t believe my content is so long.


Mata ja!

week

ok! It's been a really fun week. I shall summaries it now.



Monday: Get to know each other + face painting = fun but also sian. Getting to know each other was well... fun... i think. I mean i got to know alot of people but my human scavenger sheet is quite empty (in other words, miserable). And who knew feb babies are so hard to find! Anyway, after that, we had to face paint each other and do a skit. I suggested doing adam's family because the make up is simple and the show is funny. Are we funny? Why sure! The results is people just stared dumbfounded and did I mention the soft "hmm?" that was getting loudly obvious. I guess the part I enjoyed was to laugh at some people's reaction when I painted their face.



Tuesday: Have to make an exhibition. Our group members divdied ourselves from 9 to 3 and we went looking around for items. So three of us went and most of the stuff we took was quite free. ( I am not sure about the beer bottles though, one of the workers is not very happy) And then, we made the poor and only guy of our group to carry a really 'feathered light" stone. By the time we came back to the campus, he is a walking traffic light (not to mention a tiring one).

So we decided to make a boat and a island. Results? The boat is recognizable but I swore that the small tiny island looked nicer than the large boat. Oh well, at least it's done.



wednesday: Have to go to boat quay to do 5 sketches from 9 to 1:30. 1 elevational view of the street scape, 2 3D drawings of a building and 2 zoomed in details are needed to be done by 1:30. 5 drawings + 4 and 1/2 hours= 3/4 of a drawing T.T. It's really pathetic la. what's more is that the sky decide to rain on us halfway. After tolerating it for a while, our drawings are getting soggy and we had to get back. At least the lecturers didn't say anything.



Thursday: Make 4 outfits out of garbage bags, newspaper and the works. I helped a friend with his shirt the whole afternoon and what the shirt gave us? A tear that was really big. So fuming and frustrated, we turned it into a jacket and we brought home the works to make another shirt. The other group members made a really nice dress, blouse and short pants. Really cool to look at them.



Friday: Man. that day was really fun. Our models actually strut down the runway showig off the outfits we made. The other groups were not bad. Check out the catwork. Cool! Remember the stupid shirt cum jacket we made? It tore! Good thing that guy made another shirt. We just made another jacket out of it. What's really cool is when people cheered when he took off the jacket while walking of the runway. That was so cool! Anyway, everybody were really sporty and It was really a great time. Ok. Here's the pics!

* extreme left is the runway and this are our great models on the runway!

the week

The week is really cool with dudes and dudettes. We did a lot of hand on things which I did not do in almost a lifetime(which is when I was very young). Honestly, I didn't expect how...um... unique this week turn out to be. But I think I will leave that for tmw to tell. So talk to ya soon!

well... so let's say it's a new beggining

Well... so let's say it's a new beginnig. But first, before I start on that, I have to say my grandma (nai nai) has went on to a new journey out of this world. To be honest, it does affect me but not too much. After seeing her with tubes and bedridden for the past few years, it's really heartwenching enough. I still remember the first time I saw her, I almost cryed. But now, she don't have to suffer anymore. From what I had learned recently, actually nai nai really loves me a lot. My uncles and aunties told me how she always talked about me. I guess in some part of me, there's regret, because I could have done something really nice for her and see her smile for that one special time. But generally, I am really happy that she don't have to suffer anymore and she had gone to a much better place. God bless nai nai and may she rest in peace.

Ok... so now, the decision is decided. I will be studying interior design. Maybe it will be fun. I don't know. I guess just somehow, I don't know where I stand anymore. But I have to make sure that I change to see the otside world. Maybe there's something beautiful in it. I have to see for myself.

To be honest, I don't know why, but some part in my heart, I feel happy that I left MI. But some small part in me, do miss it. Why am I such a complex person? I feel a little dot dot.

Anyway, I hope Jamie will be able to get what she wants. She is really nice, being there for me when I need someone to talk to even when she hs her own problems. I wouldn't mind if I can do something for her if I can help her out.

Anyway, That's about it for now. Mata Ja. Ciao!

poly.... O.O

Hey! It’s been a while since I have written an entry. I guess I didn’t have much time. Now I do have a teeny bit of time. So I should write my very complicated feelings down. I dun think I will continue in MI. Most likely I will be going to polytechnic. What I fear most is that I make the wrong choice or getting the choice that may not be to my desire. I guess early childhood is more of me than mass com… can you believe that? Friends who had been close to me will be missed dearly. Still, this route may be better for me. Now all I want to do is become a better person and focus on the life that is set forth of me. I leave these things in God’s hand. Hope this turns out ok.

tired..... emotionally

Although I may be relieved to stay in school, but really, sometimes, I feel like just throwing in that towel. But to do that, I am giving up without a fight. There is only failure if no attempt is made. But I am so tired. Really.... I feel stressed, I feel miserable like an awful fool. Like what the ***. Things that I had done, is not good enough. I hate being in the special attention of any teacher's eye. I hate being brought into view most of the time. It is not really about my self esteem, but I really can do without that too much extra attention. ARGH!

Still.... I can't give up yet. I mustn't. I got the potential. I know I do. I can't ruin this chance. It's up to them to see it. As for now, there's only one person I got to prove....................................me...

-.-

Today= ok day. Believe me, I have worst days than this. School homework is really inspriring and the lessons are oh so exciting. The best part is that I will usually agree with the teachers just by nodding my head off. Feeling a bit like a crank granny now, with the urge just to get comfortable with my bed, pillow and teddy bear. If this continues or if I don't change my schedule, I think my mental age will increase by another 10 years times. Anyway, got to go. I will try to find some detail about my aspiring life to tell you.

I thought maybe i should write about my life a bit

Hmmm…. Ok… so everything is same old same old. Not much of the oh-so-thrilling exciting life. It’s simple. I think… I mean excluding my jaw being locked and I have to go for operation and my common tests are coming up, it’s simple. Really! Anyway, I had General Paper presentation today. How was it? Did it go like a breeze? Why, of course! I just stammer through my part and so called choked it. Hahaha… I know I am sarcastic here; it’s just nice you know. Makes you look on the bright side. Anyway, I got to go. Seeya!

teh new updated blog

Ok….. So this is not me. But who cares! This is so kawaii! Apparently, I have been ignoring this blog for a while. You know why? My entries have always been rejected by this blog over here. Anyway, I thought maybe I should update my blog a bit. So here is the newest testing background. Ok… so it’s all pink and fluff and bunnies. But do I care? Nooo…. You know why? Because this is MY blog. MINE…. Anyway, hahaha…. Hope you like it!

对我说，就是因为爱了你。对我说，你是我的 honey!

frustrating week

Depressing, frustrating weeks

Much to their dismay, the exams are to come. The inevitable test to confirm their existence in the school next year. The teacher gave a bright reassuring smile with piles of notes and worksheets that were ever so encouraging. From the very time of intense studying and late night coffees, their time is to come the next few days.

Monday, a time to arrive in the fresh mood or with the Monday blues to school. Facing stern teachers who fire students down for not doing their homework, no matter how “valid” the excuses are. A little homework placed on the every desks while revision will be freshly gone through tonight.

Tuesday, the time to come with a little fresher look than normal. Books carried to school are ready to be tackled and attacked. However, a little later, the pile of homework gone a little higher and revision is on tonight.

Wednesday, a happy moment to know that the school ends early but boring classes rips the enthusiasm. Another late night of revision.

Thursday, a thin smile on the face and the ever thinning optimism, tackled the day with fiery tempers and multiple coffees. Glaring at teachers who ask questions where nobody can answer. The predictable headache coming up now and then. The midnight oil burns as the slogging through notes begins.

Friday, armed with little books and black eyes with the final strength of the spirit to complete the school week and back to the comfy beds where sleep is called the luxury of exam periods.

AND NOW, THE TESTS BEGIN!

mommy!!!!!

dedicated to my mom

You tore your hair out at me

and then you pester at me to study.

Keeping an eye on me while I am cooped up in my room

breathing the "really" fresh air that i need so much.

That is now.

I remembered last time,

16 years ago,

I wake you up regularly every hour at night,

in a very "polite" manner,

Just because I feel like it.

I know that I am a lucky person to have you.

And for the 17th time that I have to tell you....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

A memory gladly remembered

Madeleine, Xuan, Alvin and I went over to my two month old house. Yes, I just moved house. We really have fun, but we do miss our dear friend Sherie. Do you know, to see all of them smile is like giving me a thousand priceless gifts. I feel so happy and glad. Why such smiles matters to me so much is a reason of my own. We really have fun. Swimming, joking, laughing and making our own sandwiches. Then we watched INUYASHA!!!!! (I LIKE!!!!!!) And there's a lot of juicy stuff in between. (i think only they know) Anyway, I love this day. It's been a while since I have fun these two days. hahaha.... Yesterday, i went bowling with a another of my best friend. So yup, it's fun too! I like these two days a lot. So I am taking all those in and place them in the treasure chest in my mind and heart. Have fun people. I shall cherish these memories in my heart.