>:

I am just writing my frustration down and so pls don't bring this up. i dun need to talk about it or more like don't want to and i DUN wan any sympathy.

I haven't seen an F for a very long tme until recently. nowi got an F in IT. like ****. Y am i taking this so seriously because I want to move on, not to be retained or kicked out. when I saw this result, memories of last year came back to me. The agony of always failing, the agony of fear over my results, the disappointment of my parents. I really feel very ****** up.

I cannot continue like this. I must buck up and get rid of all this. I don't want to ruin my life, depend on my parents throughout my life. One *********** year is enough. I swore last year i will never burden my family. I have to improve. No matter what it takes.

a very so-called break

I won't say that this is not a break and I won't say that this is the time to relax. As long as my course is still up and running everyday, i find it hard to really become a couch potato or to really relax like it's a holiday. In a way, it is good of course. But i am feeling much better... way much better. I think.

Last Sat, i went out with Faz to watch a movie, Bewolf. It is not really bad. I just don't like the scary part of a deformed human, and man being eaten. I also hate the nude bodies in the movies. Not that I am rigid about moral values, it is just that the full blown sight irks me >.<.

Ever since friday (crazy day) night, I have been lazing until now. But i stopped this laziness few mins ago and I am going to touch my work again.

Anyway, nothing much really happened but here r some photos that Faz and I took.







P.S sorry for the blur pics

frustration boiling

I dunno what I should feel. Should i feel indifferent or angry or frustrated? I bet it''s frustration. frustration over ot knowing what to do, frustration of not doing things right, frustration on how things are not going my way. I cannot stand it. Why does it have to happen to me?!?

I didn't sleep for 44 hours, worked like crap on one model and it still doesn't show my concept. Argh! grrrrrr.....

If i say i hate it, it will only be demoralising. But what to do? How brain how?!? jus work for once for pete's sake.

Argh! I pray and hope my crit is not on friday, i have a very bad feeling that it would be.

>.<

happy deepavali!

HAPPY DEEPAVALI to the people out there! Hope u have fun!
I am still feeling the impact of sleeping one full night. I didn't sleep for the past 3 days. Actually I intended to sleep for 1 hour yesterday before going back to my work. Turns out that I slept for 5 hours, from 8pm to 1 am. Then before i get to touch my laptop, my mom forced me to sleep. Said something about mumbling in your sleep is not very good.

As usual, I stll didn't get very good comments in my design so i have to rethink my ideas. Thought of new ideas, hopefully more will come out. Feeling abit sleepy but hey, at least i had some sleep... hahaha....

Sheesh.... if there's one thing i will never do, it will be telling my mom to read this blog. It's bad enough to see her sometimes listening to my conversation on the phone. letting her see my personal thoughts will be downright creepy.

Anyway, I will be going out to see one of the lecturer's office with my friends. quite cool!

here's some of the not very good pics of my model:

exterior:


interior:

AHHHH....

AHHHH...how to do my model? My sprained hand is aching and i have to lean on it,O.O