my early days as a writer

Interesting! i was reading my blog entries in the days when i just started writing as a hobby. I can still remember the fun and trill i got each time i created a new story. I really miss doing that! only, maybe cuz i m too lazy..-.-... sigh... anyway, it's also quite strange because the stories I wrote can be extremely emo or extremely funny. Here's one example of my emo stories. Can't believe i was so emo... BUT! It's quite good. I hope you like it.^^

-Not me, you-

I remember the time when I first fell in love with you. How funny it seems because I never believe in love in first sight….. But I did. When you appeared in the television for the very first time, I saw light from the darkness. Something I never felt before.


I became your biggest fan, cheering you in every concert, watching you’re every move, remembering every single detail about your life. Not only did I love you, I want to be you, not me. Why? Because I love you. Because I know I can never get a chance to be with you. At least when I am you, I am in love with myself. Why will you want a girl to be your life partner anyway? You are heterosexual, while me… well… I am different.


The opportunity came to become you had arrived. Maybe the reason is because that my voice is exactly like yours. The vocal chords, the sing song voice but also a voice that light up any audience…. I can become you.


It sounds strange, I know.


I was approached by a high authority figure. Naïve, I was so naïve. But what can 16 year old girl know? All she wants is to love you… to have her dream to become just like you. I didn’t know there was a war brewing. Maybe I should read the newspapers.


I remembered how weird it feels on the hospital bed. But awkward feeling was gone when I saw the mirror. Your beautiful and gorgeous face mixed with innocence was my reflection. I nearly kissed the mirror. You are so beautiful, so sweet and though you seem so innocent, there is actually maturity inside you.


I remembered meeting you in one of those space ships. Shaking your graceful and soft hand, I could not believe that I had met you. I was your substitute, so you can be at two places in one time.


The war was treacherous. We got closer together, giving each other company during these difficult times. But once again, what can a 16 year old girl know? You looked so doubtful of the government and so worried. I felt my heart break to see you cry. Then later, I found out that you married secretly, I knew that my bleeding heart would never heal again.


Finally, the government had no use of the propaganda tools that was needed so much once upon a time. They sent assassins to murder us.


There was the frantic panting and the grinding of teeth coming from your husband and his friend as they tried so hard to protect us.


Then I was shot behind.


As I collapsed to the floor, the sound of you screaming my name echoed.


To be honest, I felt no pain. There was no pain. I saw the world, our homes and family shattered, scattered bodies were everywhere. I felt my heart turned to ashes, no longer existing. No…. There was no pain… really. Do not cry for me. My inner being has been used up. There was no pain any longer.


Lying on your lap, I watched your tears flow freely off your cheeks and hear the soft pleads for me to hold on. How I wish I could wipe the tear stains off your cheeks.


My dreams…. Haha… dreams. So close yet so far. I am close to you, but I know I can never get you to love me the same way I do to you. I am you, but I have never thought that my life being you will end this way.


But I can do one last thing, one last thing a dying 16 year old girl can know that it can be fulfilled. I told you never to forget me, to have me engraved in your mind.


“Remember me” *soft whisper*


All our works and the last of my life being you will be alive…. If you remember them. Then as the darkness consumed my sight and taken away my breath, I knew that my last wish had been fulfilled.




“Don’t forget me.”*last breath*






"I will never forget you.”