smile when there's no need to,
love as if there's no hurt,
laugh even when no one hears,
dance when no one's watching,
sometimes you do things
when no one's looking
but it means something to you.
Smile! u r not alone because there are people around you^^. just look for them and you will find them^^!
sorry^^! random thoughts. but i thought they are quite beautiful so i just worte them down^^!
take care^^!
god bless^^!
Friday, August 08, 2008
Thursday, August 07, 2008
rahhhhhh
so weird O.o... it's amazing how u wish not to have that emotion but u still have it? how irritating. Arrrrgh! i guess i jus dun wan to have that emotion now. I dun wish to have that emotion for a very looooong time and it happened blaringly.
O.o... so weird. it's like so unpredictable sometimes. Think i will just bite myself, get on with my life and ignore that emotion that seems to be draining me. I am not going to deny it anymore, iam not going to force myself from restraining it. I will just live my life with that clumsy idiotic emotion. I will jus pray that it will quieten itself until i m ready to face it.
Dun think now's a good time!
must JIA YIU JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!! CAN DE!!!^^
yay^^!
god bless^^!
O.o... so weird. it's like so unpredictable sometimes. Think i will just bite myself, get on with my life and ignore that emotion that seems to be draining me. I am not going to deny it anymore, iam not going to force myself from restraining it. I will just live my life with that clumsy idiotic emotion. I will jus pray that it will quieten itself until i m ready to face it.
Dun think now's a good time!
must JIA YIU JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!! CAN DE!!!^^
yay^^!
god bless^^!
Monday, August 04, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
new life
so begins the new life of me being single. I am actually a lot better now, from the heart aches and everything. Of cuz, i am still on the road on becoming a better person. Just that, hmmm... getting used to be single. Ok la^^! i won't say i m happy everyday. Last week was quite bad. I don't know how I could get emo quite easily.
But at least I am better now^^! hahaha^^! anyway, hmmm.. htere are a few promises (again) that i make to myself. Been noticing some flaws lately^^. soooo I won't say them out yet, unless i complete my promise. Must jia you!!
go go go!!
god bless^^!
But at least I am better now^^! hahaha^^! anyway, hmmm.. htere are a few promises (again) that i make to myself. Been noticing some flaws lately^^. soooo I won't say them out yet, unless i complete my promise. Must jia you!!
go go go!!
god bless^^!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
15 weird things or habits
whoohoo!!! gee thanks Jin Qiao! I shall rmb that u tag me^^! beware to tag back!!!! ok la^^! just kidding. what a weird thing to ask me to do. Anway here goes,
Rule: Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. NO TAG BACKS!
1. I was an introvert (i think some of u guys know that, as for the rest, surprise surprise!)
2.I probably have more guy friends than girl friends. (it jus happens. I dun really pick)
3. I learn malay before I learn chinese (wow again)
4. One day, a boy's nose got smashed,coutesy of me (I hate to hurt people, this is exceptional)
5. I sing to myself (pls dun ask me to sing, my singing is horrendous)
6.I was the hardcore Clay Aiken fan last time (surprise again!)
7.I used to cross dress when I was younger (can't rmb when,but yeah,i did)
8.I sleep holding a cross in my hand
9.I don't really like the dark (but heck, i won't show it)
10. I used to hate being a girl (it seemed troublesome last time)
11.My hands can go 360 degree clockwise
12.I like to sit with one of my leg up on the table (when i was young)
13. My thumb can bend all the way back
14.I loved pink when i was younger. Barbie pink! (the other half of my childhood)
15. I used to have long hair down to my back.
people i tagged:
1. Chew Yin
2. Madeleine
3.Veggie
4. Sok Hui
5. Alice
Anglia, Jonathan and Jamie, u guys have been busy, so it's up to u k^^?
Take care^^!
God bless^^!
Rule: Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. NO TAG BACKS!
1. I was an introvert (i think some of u guys know that, as for the rest, surprise surprise!)
2.I probably have more guy friends than girl friends. (it jus happens. I dun really pick)
3. I learn malay before I learn chinese (wow again)
4. One day, a boy's nose got smashed,coutesy of me (I hate to hurt people, this is exceptional)
5. I sing to myself (pls dun ask me to sing, my singing is horrendous)
6.I was the hardcore Clay Aiken fan last time (surprise again!)
7.I used to cross dress when I was younger (can't rmb when,but yeah,i did)
8.I sleep holding a cross in my hand
9.I don't really like the dark (but heck, i won't show it)
10. I used to hate being a girl (it seemed troublesome last time)
11.My hands can go 360 degree clockwise
12.I like to sit with one of my leg up on the table (when i was young)
13. My thumb can bend all the way back
14.I loved pink when i was younger. Barbie pink! (the other half of my childhood)
15. I used to have long hair down to my back.
people i tagged:
1. Chew Yin
2. Madeleine
3.Veggie
4. Sok Hui
5. Alice
Anglia, Jonathan and Jamie, u guys have been busy, so it's up to u k^^?
Take care^^!
God bless^^!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
eleanor will jia you^^!
whoooo^^! i really truly feel happy today^^! yay yay^^! composed a fantastic song^^! it will need refining but it's gonna be great^^! eleanor jia you jia you jia you^^!
also thanks god nia^^! if it weren't for this song, i guess i will still be crying^^@ happy nia^^!
god bless^^!
also thanks god nia^^! if it weren't for this song, i guess i will still be crying^^@ happy nia^^!
god bless^^!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
out with liang hao
heyyyy^^! went out with liang hao^^! today^^! watched batman and ate ramen^^! super happy nia^^! liang hao, i guess he's like a brother to me^^! He's always there for me and always keep in ouch with me^^! sooo, i guess i m really lucky to have a friend like him^^!
anyway, the photos are umpresentable =.=... sigh!! so i can't post! rahhhh! ok la^^! had fun today^^!
anyway, the photos are umpresentable =.=... sigh!! so i can't post! rahhhh! ok la^^! had fun today^^!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Happy Birthday Sok Hui!
heyyyy! Happy birthday Sok Hui! Hope you are doing fine^^! hahaha^^! stay bubbly and cute always^^! smile^^! Hope you have a great year ahead,excel in what you are doing, be healthy and last but not least, be happy always^^!
Here's the video we made^^:
hope you like it^^! (sorry...>.<)
god bless^^!
Ciao^^!
Here's the video we made^^:
hope you like it^^! (sorry...>.<)
god bless^^!
Ciao^^!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
words are just words
Lighten heart may,
turn like the reason that cause the ripples,
of the quiet river,
where flowing among the currents,
where unheard actions dance along the rapids,
smiling upside down as I swam along the currents,
the current that seem fast or slow, I don't know,
I just swim in it cuz it's the present,
shall find a stop over soon
hahaha^^! just feel like writing a poem^^! it's quite interesting^^! hahaha^^!
must jia you^^! jia you jia you jia you^^!
turn like the reason that cause the ripples,
of the quiet river,
where flowing among the currents,
where unheard actions dance along the rapids,
smiling upside down as I swam along the currents,
the current that seem fast or slow, I don't know,
I just swim in it cuz it's the present,
shall find a stop over soon
hahaha^^! just feel like writing a poem^^! it's quite interesting^^! hahaha^^!
must jia you^^! jia you jia you jia you^^!
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
jumpy
i feel very VERY jumpy today.
Had an experience of something weird in the afternoon until right now, i still feel a little afraid to use my laptop. However, still have to use it to do homework. Gosh!
Anyway, after that jumpy moment, I went for the poly 50 training. Almost had a jumpy asthma attack. But good thing i stopped! Overall, it's quite fun. It's been a while since i have a good workout. Feel motivated to do work again.
And now, using the laptop again. Still feel jumoy and freaked out but no choice, i had to do homework. What a jumpy day. >.< ergh... oh well...must JIA YOU^^!
take care^^!
God bless^^!
Had an experience of something weird in the afternoon until right now, i still feel a little afraid to use my laptop. However, still have to use it to do homework. Gosh!
Anyway, after that jumpy moment, I went for the poly 50 training. Almost had a jumpy asthma attack. But good thing i stopped! Overall, it's quite fun. It's been a while since i have a good workout. Feel motivated to do work again.
And now, using the laptop again. Still feel jumoy and freaked out but no choice, i had to do homework. What a jumpy day. >.< ergh... oh well...must JIA YOU^^!
take care^^!
God bless^^!
Monday, June 30, 2008
yawn
it's 3 am in the morning. late right? Just have the sudden urge to blog. Went to church in the morning. Experienced the most wondrous feeling in the world.
Then my friends and i chatted. Hmmm... i guess it's quite fun^^! but i do get a little distracted. =X sorry guys! but it's fun using skype with u guys.
Anyway, i miss him again. But i am very much better than the past few days. Now i can concentrate better and my heart has lessen the hurt. But of cuz, the feeling (starts with L) will remain.I think it will remain for a very long time. It's not a bad thing really^^. Of cuz, i m open now, but if my heart stop the L feeling immediately, then wad's the years of relationship for^^. ok la^^! I am getting better^^! will be more responsible^^! i won't run le. Enough break^^!
Umeko, FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
Hahaha^^! ok le^^! sleepig time^^!
good night^^!
god bless^^!
*hugs*
Then my friends and i chatted. Hmmm... i guess it's quite fun^^! but i do get a little distracted. =X sorry guys! but it's fun using skype with u guys.
Anyway, i miss him again. But i am very much better than the past few days. Now i can concentrate better and my heart has lessen the hurt. But of cuz, the feeling (starts with L) will remain.I think it will remain for a very long time. It's not a bad thing really^^. Of cuz, i m open now, but if my heart stop the L feeling immediately, then wad's the years of relationship for^^. ok la^^! I am getting better^^! will be more responsible^^! i won't run le. Enough break^^!
Umeko, FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
Hahaha^^! ok le^^! sleepig time^^!
good night^^!
god bless^^!
*hugs*
Saturday, June 28, 2008
realizing
Thanks you guys for showing your concern for me. I really appreciate it. And it's because of you guys, i fell better now.
Today, I had pin up so i just pin up my thoughts and blah blah blah. And then went to the peranakan museum. It's quite interesting.
Check out the jewelleries. Nonyas like them in pairs
The Emboidery is so beautiful! Bella Bella!
Guess what's this for?
*it's for the knees*
Yup^^! actually there'a a lot more, but my cam's batt went out so... well... sob sob. If i post some of the darker pictures here, I think they will come out as scary. So i think i better not.
Anyway, after that, I went to the Margaret Drive (MY Margaret drive!!!) *inside joke.. sorry!* But yeah, went out there to stroll and take videos. Become part of the "crowd" in there by just sitting there and doing nothing. Look around and slowly stroll and try to experience. Found out some concepts or essence. But hopefully i can look a little more deeper^^. We shall see.
Today, I had pin up so i just pin up my thoughts and blah blah blah. And then went to the peranakan museum. It's quite interesting.
Check out the jewelleries. Nonyas like them in pairs
The Emboidery is so beautiful! Bella Bella!
Guess what's this for?
*it's for the knees*
Yup^^! actually there'a a lot more, but my cam's batt went out so... well... sob sob. If i post some of the darker pictures here, I think they will come out as scary. So i think i better not.
Anyway, after that, I went to the Margaret Drive (MY Margaret drive!!!) *inside joke.. sorry!* But yeah, went out there to stroll and take videos. Become part of the "crowd" in there by just sitting there and doing nothing. Look around and slowly stroll and try to experience. Found out some concepts or essence. But hopefully i can look a little more deeper^^. We shall see.
It looks abandoned... (by it's own leaves) T.T
It just expresses to me of the place being abandoned. the place is existing but not existing.
And the sunset is beautiful^^!
I just realize how much i took things for granted. Yes, I miss him and everything. I really miss the part he kisses my forehead. oh well, at least we don't hurt each other. And i am glad it was a peaceful one^^!
But here's what i will say again. I really smiled and laugh today and really thank u guys for giving me a day of laughter and the lovely sweet caring comments. Thank you so much^^! I felt much better than yesterday.
That's abt it^^!
God bless^^!
Ciao^^!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
it's the 100 posts and my heart cries... what irony
It's the 100th post and i can't really bring myself to smile truly.
You want to know why i don't want to do self-pity and wallow about the matter? Cuz self pity makes you give excuses so that you don't have to do things. And truly, it sucks.
It jus hurts you know. It just really hurt and it's biting me quietly but painfully. I ignored it, and so I wanted to move on.
No matter how much I smile, or laugh, it hurts deep inside. And i can't cry. Esp not in front of the people concerned about me. I am fine, just hurting.
I feel tired and sick of everything. To be honest, I am just running away from everything. I just want to. But i can't. I am running away from so many things now and my mind told me to just give me one week.
But that's jus excuses to get away from things. It's just... i don't know what to say. Jus because sth bad happen to me, doesn't me, I neglect all responsibilities i have right? The emotion really sux. I still feel hurt. i really miss him, but if i write that aloud, it will only hurt him. I don't want that.
.
But I will move on, I will stand up on my feet again. I have to and want to. It's time to discover myself. Now, i have to find a way to get rid of this lingering emotion. Too long and it's going to become pathetic.
God bless^^.
Take care^^!
* this is jus to write about my emotions, i hope not to discuss it and for it not to be brought up*
You want to know why i don't want to do self-pity and wallow about the matter? Cuz self pity makes you give excuses so that you don't have to do things. And truly, it sucks.
It jus hurts you know. It just really hurt and it's biting me quietly but painfully. I ignored it, and so I wanted to move on.
No matter how much I smile, or laugh, it hurts deep inside. And i can't cry. Esp not in front of the people concerned about me. I am fine, just hurting.
I feel tired and sick of everything. To be honest, I am just running away from everything. I just want to. But i can't. I am running away from so many things now and my mind told me to just give me one week.
But that's jus excuses to get away from things. It's just... i don't know what to say. Jus because sth bad happen to me, doesn't me, I neglect all responsibilities i have right? The emotion really sux. I still feel hurt. i really miss him, but if i write that aloud, it will only hurt him. I don't want that.
.
But I will move on, I will stand up on my feet again. I have to and want to. It's time to discover myself. Now, i have to find a way to get rid of this lingering emotion. Too long and it's going to become pathetic.
God bless^^.
Take care^^!
* this is jus to write about my emotions, i hope not to discuss it and for it not to be brought up*
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
friends... but he will always remain n my heart
Well... here we are. Friends now yes? It's really a peaceful and somehow sweet break up that i ever seen in history.
but there's no such thing as better guy. I guess it's just how we get along together. It's partly my fault as well. It's a little hilarious to actually laugh and chat along the phone. And the thing that is almost unbelievable, is that u didn't put down the phone as i cry, u stood right beside me.
For this past 3 years and 11 months, i shared so much with you. All the suffering, or joys, we have taken it all up. The best thing is to know that even though love can be troublesome (or so what i used to think) but it's worth it, every bit of it.
I really want to thank you. Even when we talked about all the parts that we are angry of, we actually laugh it off and settle it.
I cannot find a guy like you. I really do love you. and you will always stay in my heart. I love you. it's jus that i guess both of us are really different now i guess.
But i hope i can still be able to call you, to share your burdens with you. AND Of cuz, i also really hope you find a girl more suitable than me^^!
No matter what, you are welcome to talk to me and hang around me. I really do not mind.
Take care of yourself k? Be more confident of yourself, believe you can succeed. Cuz i believe you can. Think twice before you do anything. And when a Better lady comes along your way, do take care of each other. BE HAPPY K? Take care!
- You will never be forgotten -
God bless^^!
take care^^!
but there's no such thing as better guy. I guess it's just how we get along together. It's partly my fault as well. It's a little hilarious to actually laugh and chat along the phone. And the thing that is almost unbelievable, is that u didn't put down the phone as i cry, u stood right beside me.
For this past 3 years and 11 months, i shared so much with you. All the suffering, or joys, we have taken it all up. The best thing is to know that even though love can be troublesome (or so what i used to think) but it's worth it, every bit of it.
I really want to thank you. Even when we talked about all the parts that we are angry of, we actually laugh it off and settle it.
I cannot find a guy like you. I really do love you. and you will always stay in my heart. I love you. it's jus that i guess both of us are really different now i guess.
But i hope i can still be able to call you, to share your burdens with you. AND Of cuz, i also really hope you find a girl more suitable than me^^!
No matter what, you are welcome to talk to me and hang around me. I really do not mind.
Take care of yourself k? Be more confident of yourself, believe you can succeed. Cuz i believe you can. Think twice before you do anything. And when a Better lady comes along your way, do take care of each other. BE HAPPY K? Take care!
- You will never be forgotten -
God bless^^!
take care^^!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
reflections
you know, it's quite interesting when u read people's blogs^^. Of cuz, i do it quite discreetly, i mean who will go blurting out about people's lives? I guess i m just curious how people live their lives.
The thing of being 17 onwards, you start wondering about yourself and who you will be when you start working. Will things go well?
I did say i started out pretty badly, always lving in the past, not wanting to come out to the world. I guess i got scared but i didn't want to show it. Then again, it's nnot an excuse. But i am really lucky that I woke up in time to find out that what I am doing is wrong.
I do worry about the future. What about the friends who are going through thick and thin with me? hmmm... I really treasure them with all my heart. I really really do^^! Esp now there are the honeymooners. I don't know what I did do without them. They are really awesome, any words related to awesome and we have fun tgt^^!
Some people are afraid tat their close ones will leave them. I have experienced them myself and i definitely won't say it's a piece of cake to let go so easily. Cuz heck it's not! but through time, we form our own lives and we make new friends and the cycle repeats again.
What I am saying is that, yes we will have memories and we don't know what's there in future^^. The only thing now is to live in the present. Memories, yes we can't live in the past, but it kind of showed us that we once spent our time together and laugh together. And because of that, no matter how faded, there will always be a bond. Whether we keep in touch or not, we will still remember each other. That's part of life i think. but it's what makes our lives meaningful because sooner or later, it's part of who we are^^.
Hahaha^^! dun mind me, jus feel like updating and thinking about... well... stuff^^!
see you soon^^!
God bless^^!
The thing of being 17 onwards, you start wondering about yourself and who you will be when you start working. Will things go well?
I did say i started out pretty badly, always lving in the past, not wanting to come out to the world. I guess i got scared but i didn't want to show it. Then again, it's nnot an excuse. But i am really lucky that I woke up in time to find out that what I am doing is wrong.
I do worry about the future. What about the friends who are going through thick and thin with me? hmmm... I really treasure them with all my heart. I really really do^^! Esp now there are the honeymooners. I don't know what I did do without them. They are really awesome, any words related to awesome and we have fun tgt^^!
Some people are afraid tat their close ones will leave them. I have experienced them myself and i definitely won't say it's a piece of cake to let go so easily. Cuz heck it's not! but through time, we form our own lives and we make new friends and the cycle repeats again.
What I am saying is that, yes we will have memories and we don't know what's there in future^^. The only thing now is to live in the present. Memories, yes we can't live in the past, but it kind of showed us that we once spent our time together and laugh together. And because of that, no matter how faded, there will always be a bond. Whether we keep in touch or not, we will still remember each other. That's part of life i think. but it's what makes our lives meaningful because sooner or later, it's part of who we are^^.
Hahaha^^! dun mind me, jus feel like updating and thinking about... well... stuff^^!
see you soon^^!
God bless^^!
Thursday, June 05, 2008
my early days as a writer pt 2
Ok... somy previous entry has the emo story right? here's the hilarious one.
Note: I was crazy about anime and I still am. But now, i guess i rather create stories which i can find to write in my own style. Sooo... bear in mind, this is my early writing hobby days and i really love them.
-When your friend likes yr fiend-
Ian had been acting weird for two days and I decided to confront him before I go crazy trying to guess what in the el was bothering him.
“Ok, out with it,” I cornered him.
“Heh? Neh…. Ume-chan, what are you talking about?” Ian blinked his amber eyes, innocent.
“You have been acting weird this few days… First, you add broccoli in your coffee and then you nearly got killed because you mistaken Hina-chan with Rin- chan which is very strange because their appearance are two worlds apart, and after that, you ruined my twenty thousand dollars microwave by putting a fork to it and just apologizing that you were “just” careless. Do you know you have nearly burnt my whole kitchen down and one quarter of it is already gone!?!” I fixed him with a tantalizing glare; all flared up about my kitchen.
Ian gulped.
“Out with it……now…” cold voice.
So Ian told me his feelings.
“Ume-chan, I think I am in love,” Ian blushed.
“Really? With who?”
“Rin-chan”
[My thoughts, words in italics]
What?!? You are in love with her?!?
“I mean she is beautiful…”
Yup, beautiful alright… Horse teeth, bug eyes and big mouth, I am pretty sure she can turn any boy’s heart.
“And she is so sweet…”
Have you taste a crab apple? Because that is what her sweetness taste like…
“Do you see her skin? It’s smooth and soft…”
Hmmm… Soft huh? Do the muscles count? I could have sworn they are rock hard…
“And she is so innocent…”
Keh…I bet he hadn’t seen the stuff she keeps under the pillow, condoms are just not what we call innocent…
“Neh… Ume-chan, she is your friend right? I heard you mention this to me before…”
I think you heard wrongly, I said FIEND, not FRIEND!
“Anyway, can you introduce me to her, Ume-chan? Pleasssse?” Ian eyes twinkled.
“Um… Ian-chan, I don’t think this is a good idea?” I backed away slowly.
“PLEEEASE!!” Ian eyes were twinkling with tears and his lips were quivering.
“This is going to be a long day,” I thought as Ian dragged me kicking and screaming into the canteen.
“NOOOOoooooo”
Note: I was crazy about anime and I still am. But now, i guess i rather create stories which i can find to write in my own style. Sooo... bear in mind, this is my early writing hobby days and i really love them.
-When your friend likes yr fiend-
Ian had been acting weird for two days and I decided to confront him before I go crazy trying to guess what in the el was bothering him.
“Ok, out with it,” I cornered him.
“Heh? Neh…. Ume-chan, what are you talking about?” Ian blinked his amber eyes, innocent.
“You have been acting weird this few days… First, you add broccoli in your coffee and then you nearly got killed because you mistaken Hina-chan with Rin- chan which is very strange because their appearance are two worlds apart, and after that, you ruined my twenty thousand dollars microwave by putting a fork to it and just apologizing that you were “just” careless. Do you know you have nearly burnt my whole kitchen down and one quarter of it is already gone!?!” I fixed him with a tantalizing glare; all flared up about my kitchen.
Ian gulped.
“Out with it……now…” cold voice.
So Ian told me his feelings.
“Ume-chan, I think I am in love,” Ian blushed.
“Really? With who?”
“Rin-chan”
[My thoughts, words in italics]
What?!? You are in love with her?!?
“I mean she is beautiful…”
Yup, beautiful alright… Horse teeth, bug eyes and big mouth, I am pretty sure she can turn any boy’s heart.
“And she is so sweet…”
Have you taste a crab apple? Because that is what her sweetness taste like…
“Do you see her skin? It’s smooth and soft…”
Hmmm… Soft huh? Do the muscles count? I could have sworn they are rock hard…
“And she is so innocent…”
Keh…I bet he hadn’t seen the stuff she keeps under the pillow, condoms are just not what we call innocent…
“Neh… Ume-chan, she is your friend right? I heard you mention this to me before…”
I think you heard wrongly, I said FIEND, not FRIEND!
“Anyway, can you introduce me to her, Ume-chan? Pleasssse?” Ian eyes twinkled.
“Um… Ian-chan, I don’t think this is a good idea?” I backed away slowly.
“PLEEEASE!!” Ian eyes were twinkling with tears and his lips were quivering.
“This is going to be a long day,” I thought as Ian dragged me kicking and screaming into the canteen.
“NOOOOoooooo”
my early days as a writer
Interesting! i was reading my blog entries in the days when i just started writing as a hobby. I can still remember the fun and trill i got each time i created a new story. I really miss doing that! only, maybe cuz i m too lazy..-.-... sigh... anyway, it's also quite strange because the stories I wrote can be extremely emo or extremely funny. Here's one example of my emo stories. Can't believe i was so emo... BUT! It's quite good. I hope you like it.^^
-Not me, you-
I remember the time when I first fell in love with you. How funny it seems because I never believe in love in first sight….. But I did. When you appeared in the television for the very first time, I saw light from the darkness. Something I never felt before.
I became your biggest fan, cheering you in every concert, watching you’re every move, remembering every single detail about your life. Not only did I love you, I want to be you, not me. Why? Because I love you. Because I know I can never get a chance to be with you. At least when I am you, I am in love with myself. Why will you want a girl to be your life partner anyway? You are heterosexual, while me… well… I am different.
The opportunity came to become you had arrived. Maybe the reason is because that my voice is exactly like yours. The vocal chords, the sing song voice but also a voice that light up any audience…. I can become you.
It sounds strange, I know.
I was approached by a high authority figure. Naïve, I was so naïve. But what can 16 year old girl know? All she wants is to love you… to have her dream to become just like you. I didn’t know there was a war brewing. Maybe I should read the newspapers.
I remembered how weird it feels on the hospital bed. But awkward feeling was gone when I saw the mirror. Your beautiful and gorgeous face mixed with innocence was my reflection. I nearly kissed the mirror. You are so beautiful, so sweet and though you seem so innocent, there is actually maturity inside you.
I remembered meeting you in one of those space ships. Shaking your graceful and soft hand, I could not believe that I had met you. I was your substitute, so you can be at two places in one time.
The war was treacherous. We got closer together, giving each other company during these difficult times. But once again, what can a 16 year old girl know? You looked so doubtful of the government and so worried. I felt my heart break to see you cry. Then later, I found out that you married secretly, I knew that my bleeding heart would never heal again.
Finally, the government had no use of the propaganda tools that was needed so much once upon a time. They sent assassins to murder us.
There was the frantic panting and the grinding of teeth coming from your husband and his friend as they tried so hard to protect us.
Then I was shot behind.
As I collapsed to the floor, the sound of you screaming my name echoed.
To be honest, I felt no pain. There was no pain. I saw the world, our homes and family shattered, scattered bodies were everywhere. I felt my heart turned to ashes, no longer existing. No…. There was no pain… really. Do not cry for me. My inner being has been used up. There was no pain any longer.
Lying on your lap, I watched your tears flow freely off your cheeks and hear the soft pleads for me to hold on. How I wish I could wipe the tear stains off your cheeks.
My dreams…. Haha… dreams. So close yet so far. I am close to you, but I know I can never get you to love me the same way I do to you. I am you, but I have never thought that my life being you will end this way.
But I can do one last thing, one last thing a dying 16 year old girl can know that it can be fulfilled. I told you never to forget me, to have me engraved in your mind.
“Remember me” *soft whisper*
All our works and the last of my life being you will be alive…. If you remember them. Then as the darkness consumed my sight and taken away my breath, I knew that my last wish had been fulfilled.
“Don’t forget me.”*last breath*
"I will never forget you.”
-Not me, you-
I remember the time when I first fell in love with you. How funny it seems because I never believe in love in first sight….. But I did. When you appeared in the television for the very first time, I saw light from the darkness. Something I never felt before.
I became your biggest fan, cheering you in every concert, watching you’re every move, remembering every single detail about your life. Not only did I love you, I want to be you, not me. Why? Because I love you. Because I know I can never get a chance to be with you. At least when I am you, I am in love with myself. Why will you want a girl to be your life partner anyway? You are heterosexual, while me… well… I am different.
The opportunity came to become you had arrived. Maybe the reason is because that my voice is exactly like yours. The vocal chords, the sing song voice but also a voice that light up any audience…. I can become you.
It sounds strange, I know.
I was approached by a high authority figure. Naïve, I was so naïve. But what can 16 year old girl know? All she wants is to love you… to have her dream to become just like you. I didn’t know there was a war brewing. Maybe I should read the newspapers.
I remembered how weird it feels on the hospital bed. But awkward feeling was gone when I saw the mirror. Your beautiful and gorgeous face mixed with innocence was my reflection. I nearly kissed the mirror. You are so beautiful, so sweet and though you seem so innocent, there is actually maturity inside you.
I remembered meeting you in one of those space ships. Shaking your graceful and soft hand, I could not believe that I had met you. I was your substitute, so you can be at two places in one time.
The war was treacherous. We got closer together, giving each other company during these difficult times. But once again, what can a 16 year old girl know? You looked so doubtful of the government and so worried. I felt my heart break to see you cry. Then later, I found out that you married secretly, I knew that my bleeding heart would never heal again.
Finally, the government had no use of the propaganda tools that was needed so much once upon a time. They sent assassins to murder us.
There was the frantic panting and the grinding of teeth coming from your husband and his friend as they tried so hard to protect us.
Then I was shot behind.
As I collapsed to the floor, the sound of you screaming my name echoed.
To be honest, I felt no pain. There was no pain. I saw the world, our homes and family shattered, scattered bodies were everywhere. I felt my heart turned to ashes, no longer existing. No…. There was no pain… really. Do not cry for me. My inner being has been used up. There was no pain any longer.
Lying on your lap, I watched your tears flow freely off your cheeks and hear the soft pleads for me to hold on. How I wish I could wipe the tear stains off your cheeks.
My dreams…. Haha… dreams. So close yet so far. I am close to you, but I know I can never get you to love me the same way I do to you. I am you, but I have never thought that my life being you will end this way.
But I can do one last thing, one last thing a dying 16 year old girl can know that it can be fulfilled. I told you never to forget me, to have me engraved in your mind.
“Remember me” *soft whisper*
All our works and the last of my life being you will be alive…. If you remember them. Then as the darkness consumed my sight and taken away my breath, I knew that my last wish had been fulfilled.
“Don’t forget me.”*last breath*
"I will never forget you.”
Sunday, June 01, 2008
new handphone! whoohoo^^! oh! and some updates^^!
Okay^^! here's some updates^^! this is what happened on fri
It's the world of POCKY XD!!! dun i looooove pocky^^! and it was in Central, Clarke Quay!
Too bad, i m still under the diet of banning pocky. Sigh-.-....
Anyway, the reason why i was in Clarke Quay is because of the industrial design made by the NUS graduates. here are some pics^^!
Ok^^! after that i went for tkd^^! Had a really good workout^^! and also some muscle cramps
-.-(sigh).
Overall, the day is quite fun and tiring^^!
And then on Sat, I went to Ford factory since there was free admission. It was how the factory was used by the Japanese during the Syonan period when that period was a hellhole to the Singaporeans. My mom told me that the japanese killed 4 of my great grand relatives and that's why my grandparents (mom's side) hate the Japanese.
It's kind of sad really, how they treat the locals =(. it's like they are not human at all but some creatures with no sense of humanity. It's just really sadistic. And i shall not talk about it. -.-
Anyway, I had to send my maid off to Indo. Actually, Supa was never like my maid, she's kind of like my elder sis whom i can share almost anything with. I am glad that she can see her family though. It's been so long, she really deserve it.^^ May she have a safe and sweet holiday and a safe jouney back here again^^.
And then, today, I have a NEW HANDPHONE^^! WHOOHOO^^! It's nokia and it's not too bad^^!
NICE ISN"T IT^^!
I was soooo happy^^! Ok, and also... we had coffee in Plaza Singapura, at Cafe Cartel. I had expresso. I think it's called oreo caramel espresso. It's sooo not my type of coffee... too concentrated>.<. I think i love Affogato the best.
EspreSSo.
And also, since there's no maid, who do the housework? My family!!! that's right^^! and the work that's left to the most is my mom and me-.-. ooooh welll^^! good thing is that i will lose weight. So i watered the platns today, hanged the clothes, help cook dinner and then clean my room and help iron and fold the clothes. Tmw, have to wake up early to sweep the floor. Yes, i do house chores and this is NOT the first time.. so i guess i have not really feel that bad really. Jus different i guess^^!
Anyway, that's abt it^^!
God bless^^!
Ciao^^!
It's the world of POCKY XD!!! dun i looooove pocky^^! and it was in Central, Clarke Quay!
Too bad, i m still under the diet of banning pocky. Sigh-.-....
Anyway, the reason why i was in Clarke Quay is because of the industrial design made by the NUS graduates. here are some pics^^!
Ok^^! after that i went for tkd^^! Had a really good workout^^! and also some muscle cramps
-.-(sigh).
Overall, the day is quite fun and tiring^^!
And then on Sat, I went to Ford factory since there was free admission. It was how the factory was used by the Japanese during the Syonan period when that period was a hellhole to the Singaporeans. My mom told me that the japanese killed 4 of my great grand relatives and that's why my grandparents (mom's side) hate the Japanese.
It's kind of sad really, how they treat the locals =(. it's like they are not human at all but some creatures with no sense of humanity. It's just really sadistic. And i shall not talk about it. -.-
Anyway, I had to send my maid off to Indo. Actually, Supa was never like my maid, she's kind of like my elder sis whom i can share almost anything with. I am glad that she can see her family though. It's been so long, she really deserve it.^^ May she have a safe and sweet holiday and a safe jouney back here again^^.
And then, today, I have a NEW HANDPHONE^^! WHOOHOO^^! It's nokia and it's not too bad^^!
NICE ISN"T IT^^!
I was soooo happy^^! Ok, and also... we had coffee in Plaza Singapura, at Cafe Cartel. I had expresso. I think it's called oreo caramel espresso. It's sooo not my type of coffee... too concentrated>.<. I think i love Affogato the best.
EspreSSo.
And also, since there's no maid, who do the housework? My family!!! that's right^^! and the work that's left to the most is my mom and me-.-. ooooh welll^^! good thing is that i will lose weight. So i watered the platns today, hanged the clothes, help cook dinner and then clean my room and help iron and fold the clothes. Tmw, have to wake up early to sweep the floor. Yes, i do house chores and this is NOT the first time.. so i guess i have not really feel that bad really. Jus different i guess^^!
Anyway, that's abt it^^!
God bless^^!
Ciao^^!
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